Shine Like Holiday Lights

Fluttershy is participating in a charity concert for Hearth's Warming Eve....helping backstage. She wanted to sing, really, she did....but due to a slip-up and the singer not being able to come, Fluttershy gets her chance to shine, like holiday lights.

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A short Hearth's Warming oneshot. Merry Christmas!

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 4 )

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Midnight Sonare

Midnight Sonare #1 · Dec 24th, 2013 · 1 · ·

A cute story. I enjoyed it, but there are things that could be better.

First, the characterization was... well, it could be better. In some places the characters were doing and saying things they wouldn't normally do or say.

Second, when two characters speak, try to put what they said in two different paragraphs.

Rarity clapped. "You really do sound good, darling!" Fluttershy blushed. "You really think so?"

This should be in two separate paragraphs

"Thank you. Thank you everypony. Now, Vinyl Scratch has a very important announcement to make." Vinyl took the microphone, smiling wide. "Thank you, Fluttershy. I am happy to announce that we're going to be donating all the proceedings to Ponyville Elementary!"

The same here

I suggest you to try to find an editor or proofreader. Don't give up and keep writing, the story is good but needs some work.

Starlight Shadow