The sea is by far a dangerous place, any sailor will tell you that. Between the howling storms that no pegasi control and the traitorous shallows that led many a ship to their doom, they are filled with threats of many kind. Captain Tidebringer of the HLS Sea Flower was about to learn however, that some threats come shrouded in mystery. When he and his crew board an abandoned vessel, they stumble upon something that was best left alone. And now, judgment has been placed upon them.
The Judgment of Carrion
Chapters (3)
found some errors in this chapter, will send you a PM with them
this one has some too. I'll add them to the list. The last chap however is error-free
A really pleasant read. Though I must say the first chapter was rather schematic, but then again, it was serving as a build-up for the second one. And there… well, you really know how to write a dark story. The mistery, the atmosphere of constant anxiety, the descriptions… the horror
Also, a plus for using Zalgo, it's a silly little thing, but when used in the right way it can really add to the whole story (just like here).
The characters were nicely portrayed, to the point that I started to dislike Sticky Hooves from the very beginning (hungry for gold and rather dumb - that’s always a bad combination), and I just had a feeling he’s going to do something all other crew members will regret.
The ending... also somewhat typical, but satisfying. Though I was really hoping the captain would manage to sink that natatorial trap.
I can't write comments
Either way, it seems now I have to take a look at "2986 Steps". Something tells me I should do that...
One of the best MLP horror stories I've read. Too bad it has no characters from the show. But still it's great
I honestly couldn't read the third chapter, I knew what I was getting into when I started, but I can't finish it. It literally terrifies me to even think about the third chapter.
Amazing read. You nailed the disturbing atmosphere early on and never let up. I'll be sure to check the sequel!
Good read, very spooky. I don't like how you set up a great atmosphere only to overwrite a description of something. I didn't like the poems, also.