• Published 16th Dec 2013
  • 1,240 Views, 15 Comments

The Gift Horse - Autumnschild



Something wicked this way comes. Oh, also it's bringing presents!

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Chapter 4

“Well, that’s the last of the presents, squeaky little horse things. Merry Christmas,” said the Gift Horse.

The Gift Horse, or Michael as he was known back home, looked around the room and nodded. Another holiday miracle done right. And hey, one of the squeaky little horse things was still conscious. Bonus! Maybe he was getting better at this whole gift giving thing.

He stood back up to his full height and bumped his head against the ceiling with a hollow thunk. “Ow! Freaking… tiny houses… Would it kill you to build these things just a little bit taller?”

The pink one squawked out some horse-gibberish in response to his question and laughed. Michael rolled his eyes. “Yeah, laugh it up, fuzzy.”

She did.

Slouching back down, he turned and headed back towards the open pantry. When he reached it, he shut the door and fished a glowing key out of his pocket. He stuck it into the lock and turned it once.

When he opened the door again, the inside of the pantry was gone, replaced by a curious workshop filled with stubby little elves running this way and that. They were assembling toys and wrapping bright packages in a flurry of activity.

“Yo, Mike,” called out a particularly scruffy looking elf with a clipboard, “we got another door comin’ up in about a minute. This time on a world fulla sentient turtles.”

“A minute? Come on, Buddy, I didn’t even have time to put on the whole horse costume for this one. How am I supposed to be dressed for the next one in a minute?”

Buddy just looked at him. “Fifty-six seconds. Fifty-five seconds.”

Michael walked through the pantry door as pulled it shut behind him as he called back. “Alright, alright, I’m moving. Where’s your Christmas Spirit?”

“In Bermuda with my ex-wife. Now get changed.”


Pinkie Pie sat in happy silence, holding her package. About a minute after the Gift Horse had left, she felt a sudden warmth on her right side. Her ears popped, and the sounds of Ponyville’s winter storm flared back into life outside Sugarcube Corner.

She lifted up her blindfold and was rewarded with the sight of a shaky Twilight Sparkle sitting next to the relit fireplace. She placed the gift on her back and walked over to her shell-shocked friend. A moment later, the pink party pony was sitting next to her princess friend and smiled a soft smile.

With concern in her voice, Pinkie Pie asked, “Um, Twilight? Are you alright?”

“Never,” her jittery friend muttered, back.

“Never what, Twilight?”

Twilight turned her head to face her bubbly friend. “Never look the Gift Horse in the mouth.”

Comments ( 13 )

Have some of this :heart:, and this :heart::heart:, and especially some of this :heart::heart::heart:.

AC, this was gold, plain and simple.

By the way, what was in the presents?

3633591

I wrote out a few things, but in the end I wasn't happy with any of them. I will leave it to your imagination.

That was mind-bendingly awesome, especially the very end.

Oh, you. :unsuresweetie:

"Never look the gift horse in the mouth."

SONOFABITCH. HOW DID I NOT SEE THAT COMING. My sides!

3633591
I think it works best if you assume they're just standard gifts you would give to those characters. Something Wonderbolts for Dash, some kind of book for Twilight, and so on. It's so much funnier if you take the way ending portrays the Gift Horse and just run with it to the logical conclusion.

Haha couldn't stop imagining the drowning in horseshoes YouTube mlp reviewer guy.

This story is criminally under read!

3863250

Thanks for your comment! I have a nasty habit of writing hidden gems it seems. Could be worse. :pinkiesmile:

THE PUNCHLINE JUST BLEW MY MIND:pinkiegasp: ...and its gone...:pinkiecrazy:

I didn't understand who it was, but I thought it would be Santa.

I saw the punchline coming from a mile away, but good job! :twilightsmile:

4638261 it was santa claus... in a rubber horse mask. from an alternate universe.

Both ridiculous and delightful. "Squeaky little horse things", and Raritys' reactions to the grabbers are extremely amusing. And while I saw the words of the ending coming, the manner in which we got there, and the way in which they were used was a very funny surprise.

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