Forever Yours

by Lucefudu

Author's Notes

Inspired by:

Emilie Autumn - Gloomy Sunday (A.K.A. Hungarian Suicide Song)

Sunday is gloomy, my hours are slumberless
Dearest, the shadows I live with are numberless
Little white flowers will never awaken you
Not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought of ever returning you
Would they be angry if I thought of... joining you... ?

Gloomy Sunday.

Gloomy is Sunday,
With shadows I spend it all
My heart and I have decided to end it all
Soon there'll be candles and prayers that are sad I know...
Let them not weep! Let them know that I'm glad to go...
Death is no dream for in death I'm caressing you
With the last breath of my soul I'll be blessing you

Gloomy Sunday.

---

Message to xxsuperduperxx: Thank you for the support and the help you've given me! I will repay you the favor!

This is it! The final version of this story. So many changes came and went; and I’m glad I revisited this story. You might not know, but this was the first fanfic I ever wrote. Of course the previous versions sucked a lot; I only nailed this story on my 4th try at it.

Why does this feel so… Amnesia/Silent Hill-ish?

Comments

[Kintra]

This... Made me kinda depressed. So, I guess mission accomplished. I'm gonna go read something happy now...

[Hivemind]

Never seen a Lyra x Bon-Bon tradegy fic before.

[Mist]

Perhaps you should tag Lyra in it. I mean she DOES appear and in heavily mentioned.

[Lucefudu]

320902 Thought those were for major characters only.

[Mist]

320906 I think it applies to major supporting characters too. I think the only ones that don't belong are like characters you only mention once or twice.

[catlover3178]

well that was... dark.... now i need to go find me a happy or sappy (or both) story... hats off to ya

[cheetaboy7]

Feels like it needs some sort of epilogue. The conclusion doesn't feel like the end.

[Lucefudu]

340995 I'd rather leave the ending open.

[-Brutus]

Beautiful written.

[sunny_side_up]

Okay, what the fuck?

This needs a fucking sequel. It ends after it starts, and that's the wrong way to write a one-shot, when you write a one-shot, don't leave your readers wanting more of the story, leave them happy with the ending.

[Lucefudu]

642629 I'm confused as to whether you're "angry" at the lack of closure or at the unhappy ending. Either way, that's my way of story-telling.
I don't like happy, "AND ALL IS WELL IN THE MAGICAL LAND OF EQUESTRIA" endings. They're cliché and, not to mention, very unrealistic. Life isn't good. Granted; it isn't bad either, but it is a darker tone of gray than most think. The fact that a story ends on a sad ending doesn't mean it's bad per se. Bad things happen, and I'd rather write about how one deals with them rather than how one prances on a meadow whilst sining his love to everything alive just because he/she/it is in love.
As for the lack of closure: completely intended. I like to leave the reader wondering about what's going to happen next. I like to force the reader into thinking after he's read my stories.
This quote, I think, is appropriate for the occasion:
Every picture tells us a story. Sometimes we don't like the ending... sometimes we don't understand it.

Now I ask you, dear reader. How do you think this story would go if I were to "finish it"?

[sunny_side_up]

642688

/Puts on monicle./

I don't know, you're the author.

You tell me.

*Swag*

Okay, no. I just feel the ending was rushed, and it didn't feel like the actual end. ._.

[Lucefudu]

642711 Rushed? The story build up nicely and ends on its own pacing; Bon Bon's choice wasn't forced and neither poorly thought out. The story is not rushed. Just because something doesn't feel like the actual end, doesn't mean it hasn't ended. Her tale is over.
Lack of closure is one thing; rushing is another completely different.

And I was being serious. Tell me, how do you imagine this story to end properly?

[Lucefudu]

642750

This, there could be thousands of possibilities of what happens next.

And this is exactly what I was intending when I wrote this fanfic. It shows you the problems and wraps up on itself nicely. The story doesn't need anything else, because the established conflict is explained and is addressed. Ok, it may leave you hungry for more (this is the case), but it doesn't mean it is rushed.

Again: Just because the ending wasn't "complete", doesn't mean it was rushed. Let me explain:
Forever Yours with Rushed Ending: Bon Bon wakes up from her first nightmare and decides to kill herself. End.
Forever Yours with Closure: You would get a chapter 2, 3, 4, 5, etc. Until the story is given full closure.

But the thing is, no story has a complete closure. The facts may end at one given point (like on this one), but what happens next? Let's say you're reading a Fluttershy X Rainbow Dash shipfic. Thirty nine (39) chapters filled with romance, passion and tension. And then the story ends with both ponies overcoming their differences and embracing each other while sharing vows of true love.
Ok, you might say that it was given closure... or not. See, what happens next? Do they adopt foals? Do they still have to overcome some difficulties? Do they break up? Do they keep together until the end? What happens in between the story's end and the pony's death?

The only difference from my fanfic to this one is that this one is given a more tight closure, whilst mine is left almost open.

[LollyVVS2000]

This should be a creepyp pasta just read at night BIG mistake!