The Deathsinger
Joined 13th May, 2013 ·
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Seems like you got a good chunk of it twice in a row there. After the first "Maybe her heat won't be so bad after all…" it jumps back to the middle of the scene.
Other than that, not bad
needs a bit of editing
but i loved it
3586965
The double post should be fixed now. Not entirely certain how that happened, but it probably came from copy/pasting the story from Scrivener into Google docs.
3587466
Thanks!
If you could point at anything specific that needs edditing, that would be awsome!
3587489 after reading through it a few times it looks fine
minus the copy itself parts maybe i just cant read my apolages 
MOAR
3588311
Ehh, thats fine. I'm just glad you liked it.
Yes! Realistic, non-fetishist best pony masturbation pleases me greatly.
not bad than all
not bad... not bad at all