Agent: CARNAGE?!

by ShadowXLAS

Chapter 1: 14609.7 days till retirment.

"The baron is right through this door," said Flash Thompson AKA agent venom. "We need to take him in or take him out. Let's go."

Kicking open the door revealed the baron himself. A fairly tall black haired gentlemen with green wizard attire and he was operating some kind of machine.

"Get him!" yelled Venom at the top of his throat.

Without hesitation The newbie on the squad, Flash's own son, shot the baron multiple times with his prized Deagle. Creating a loud bang that echoed through the whole room.

"CARNAGE! WE WERE TO TAKE THE BARON IN!"

"Sorry, but unfortunately we didn't," Said the smog newbie. "He's too dangerous to let him live"

"That's not your decision!" Yelled the commander in his black symbiotic suit.

"What, you think sticking him in a cell will magically reform him? Cause it wont!"

Before Venom could knock some "sense" into his son; the portal behind them glowed with a bright flash of light. Then the portal started to contort the matter in the room. Bending and twisting everything. Even the concrete pillars in the basement like room were being contorted. Eventually the portal stopped. But no before sucking the Red suited young man into the portal leaving his squad flabbergasted.

"Carnage? Carnage? CARNAGE?!" Yelled the worried parent at the top of his lungs.

The portal contained a tunnel of seemingly... memories. Of everything Carnage has ever done wrong. From killing innocents to killing the recently deceased Baron. Then a bright epileptic flash of colors shined and then there he was. The recently promoted Colonel was just standing in what seemed like a town square. A market even. The people there were....ponies. And there stood the agent a humanoid creature covered in a symbiotic suit which looked like....blood. Finally after a century of silence a mare screamed at the top of her lungs.

"AHHH, MONSTER!"

The whole market became chaotic and everyone screamed and ran. Even bumping into each other. The Agent just stood there not moving a muscle. When the crowd was gone he sat down.

"WTF IS THIS SH*t?! I was just in a dark basement now I'm in a dimension filled with ponies? Then again I am covered in a symbiote that just came of a flesh of a murderer."

For sitting about 10 minutes thinking the royal guard showed up.

"Bout damn time."

"Halt! Surrender creature and we wont harm you!" Yelled one of the guards plated in gold.

"Yeah right. Your waiting for me to even twitch and then impale me right. Well it wont work."

Why's that?"

"Because I'll dodge them all."

Then Carnage shot a single bullet into the air. Startled the 5 guards threw 5 spikes at the Agent. Yet liked he predicted he dodged them ALL.

"How?"

"Its a thing a friend of mine calls "Spider-sense" It allows me to dodge incoming danger."

"STOP! He is of no danger. I can tell," Said a lavender colored mare with a crown resembling the north star.

Finally, Someone who knows me. " Just who are you?

"I am Twilight Sparkle. Co-princess of equestria."

"That movie sucked by the way."

"What?"

"Nothing, By the way "Princess" Can you show me where to grab some food? I'm starving."

"Yes, Guards I will bring mister.."

"Carnage"

"Some name. I will bring mister Carnage to canterlot palace for dinner. Both Luna and Celestia will be interested in this creature."

Nodding the 5 pegasi flew off back to Canterlot. With a bright flash on her horn the princess teleported both her and carnage back to the palace. There the Agent stood in a throne room with a tall white mare with a bright color flowing mane while the other was the exact opposite. She stood there with a mane practically made of moonlight and stars and she was completely devoid of color. Just like His dad.

"Princess Celestia, This is Carnage. Our residential trouble maker," Said the lavender colored mare.

"It's AGENT Carnage to you. And im here for three reasons. 1. Where the F@CK am I? 2. How the F@CK do I get home. And 3. Where the F@CK is food."

"My my, a spirited one this is," Said the more colorful one.

"Yes, maybe a bit TOO spirited," Said the less colorful one.

"Jesus, your JUST like my dad. Such a bore."

"DID YOU JUST CALL PRINCESS LUNA A BORE?!" Yelled the lavender mare at the top of her voice.

"Yeah I did. And last time I checked none of my questions have been answered!"

"All in due time. But we can give you food. What do you like?" Asked the more colorful one

MEAT,MEAT,MEAT,MEAT. "MEAT"

Seemingly startled by this all three of the princesses talked. Finally speaking up the non colored said

"We do have meat. Do you have a preference?"

"PIG."

"We will do our best to supply this."

"I hope so. So do any of you when I can return home?"

"In approximately 30 moons," Said Twilight.

"30 DAYS?! I DONT HAVE 30 DAYS! I'm a hero back where I come from!"

Then thinking back Carnage realized he wasn't much of a hero. He usually killed the bad guy on the spot without a second thought. He even tried to kill the hulk when the big green monster was on a rampage. Emphasis on TRIED.

"I'm sorry. But if we forced the barrier open it could possibly destroy both realms!" Said the colorful one. "So until Luna can find a pig tell us about yourself."

"Well its a long and awesome story."

Comments

[Dawn Heart]

He even tried to kill the hulk when the big green monster was on a rampage. Emphasis on TRIED.

One does not simply kill the hulk.... in fact I don't think it's even possible to do that.