Vinyl Scratch had a gig to play at Appleloosa, but she deeply misses Octavia whose always on tour. When she meets Octavia lookalike Fiddlesticks, will it be enough to fill her void. Please note I don't have a proof-reader, so I'll appreciate feedback. Shipping story.
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Right away, your story description needs to be fixed. There needs to be a few capitalization's and some correct punctuation marks.
Right away, somepony doesn't even read the story, they just speak about the grammar... I like your story so far, friend.
3522582
Yes but the purpose of a description is to catch your audience's eye and draw them in. A description with errors is going to draw a negative crowd. The faster it's fixed, the better off he'll be.
3522591
That is true, but I was drawn in all the same. Does that make me negative? Does that make you negative? I thought not.
3522601
You and I don't represent the entire scope of this website. You cannot say that just because you and I aren't negative people doesn't mean that others who are won't be drawn in. And just because I'm not negative doesn't mean I won't sternly critique a story.
3522628
I think that he/she knows now. But sometimes somepony writes a story for the good of those who would care to read it. Personally, I don't care who reads my story or if they like it or not. I put it there because I felt like it. I'll admit, I don't have a single error in the grammar, but then again, it's the way I write.
3522648
That's all fine and dandy, but the fact remains that these are simple errors, things a spell check program could catch in a heartbeat. It's not like an entire re-write of the story is necessary on account of grammar or anything, but a once over to catch these things goes a long way into making your story look attractive to readers.
3522677
Ok, then you tell him. I'm not an editor, so it's not my problem that they can't write the correct form of to/too/two, but I just check for basic story components.
3522685
I never said it was. I mentioned that he need to clean things up a bit and defended the importance of a good description, that's it.
3522815
Thanks for the feedback. yeah I was a little tired when I posted it cuz I was just off work. So description aside what were my mistakes in the story? (I know I made grammar errors but I'm bad at catching them and my spell and grammar check doesn't either.)
Very nice story. I'd like to read more installments of this path choice. I wasn't paying attention to any of the grammatical errors. Got sucked in about a third of the story in.
3526121
Thanks. yeah I need help with grammar. wasn't too sure about the ending tho I wanted to convey she liked Fiddlesticks but was still getting over Octavia. I think it seems like she recovers too fast
3526131
I guess one way to fix that is if you make another story continuing this to state that a lot of time had passed before Vinyl and Fiddlesticks meet up again.
Your ending was by no means bad or anything but I must agree with you. vinyl got over the break up a wee bit to easily. But this did not ruin the story for me. It was rather easy to over look for me.
3526206
Yeah I suppose in hindsight I could've put an epilogue part in there so she could just leave without saying anything to Fiddlesticks than had a small section with her getting over Octavia. I might do another Fiddle/Vinyl story.
>>kenben12
I hope you do decide to write another story continuing this.
I`m working on my own at the moment. Though mine going to involve most, if not all, the characters over quite a few chapters.
Good luck at any forthcoming stories you have planned.
3526425
Thanks but I need to find a proofreader. no ifea how to tho
>>kenben12
If you haven't looked at the group page heres a link
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
It has instructions on how hire them.
If you would like some help with that PM me and I'll try my best to helop.
I got the jist of how to do it now.