• Member Since 12th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 8th, 2016

MonoGlyph


Being nice only backfires 50% of the time.

T
Source

Equestria, but not as you know it.

Welcome to the radiant capital of the Solar Kingdom. Gargantuan skyscrapers line the streets and mechanical transports dot the skies. AI constructs reign over most electronics built within the last decade.

The streets of Canterlot and New Ponyville are embroiled in a corporate cold war while more obvious international conflict threatens to engulf the borders. A young, sheltered Twilight Sparkle embarks on a perilous tour of this brave new world with the aid of a select few others: less-than-fortunate outcasts and calculating socialites among them.

An amalgamation of classic and modern cyberpunk in controlled doses. Inject directly into bloodstream.
For the more genteel among you: story contains measured amounts of violence and profanity.

Chapters (18)
Comments ( 108 )

It's unbeilible that this has no comments yet

Cyberpunk is best punk

3537620
I agree wholeheartedly. All the other punks are shoddy imitations of the real thing.
I was beginning to get depressed 'cos of the lack of comments. You have pulled me from my pit of endless despair. Thank you kindly, sir.

You're that desperate for comments, huh? You expect me to say something clever? Well guess what? I don't even like cyberpunk all that much! You can take your memetic kill spells and shove them in a cavern, in a canyon, excavating for a mine, dwelt a miner forty niner, and his daughter Clementine

3630523

Gosh darn. Well, you're entitled to your tastes and I can't fault you for that. I appreciate your comment never-the-less! My gluttony for comments may not be sated yet, but I hope these are merely the appetizer for a full seven-course meal!

Also, I wish you happy holidays. Unless you don't celebrate those either.

I am glad that I never got to read the rest of this, leaves it open for a surprise for me! :D

I quite liked your adaption of pinkie in this. pinkie being an addict has been done before but I think this was the most interesting take on it (cyberpunk helps). I can't wait to see what other cool stuff exists in this world (the poison bullets and the weird drugs were pretty cool) and how the other mane 6 are adapted into cyberpunk. keep up the good work. :pinkiesmile:

Ahh the sweet, sweet smell of dystopian cyberpunk

Glad to see something actually doing a good cyberpunk fic on here. Can hardly get enough of that genre. :pinkiehappy: :twilightsmile:

One critique for this chapter, though. You start off in present tense, but then stick to past tense for the rest. Might want to change that first paragraph just to keep it all consistent.

3872659
Thanks for the support, good sir and/or madam. Your criticism is also appreciated, though the tense shift was a conscious decision. I was experimenting with two styles of narration, the omniscient present tense to start the scene with, changing to more personal past tense prose as we 'zoom in' to Shining's perspective.
I dunno, maybe it is a bit messy, I'm hardly a master writer or anything. Maybe I should change it to a more conventional format.

DF

Ooooo... This sounds very interesting from reading the description. Definitely going on my Read Later list.

4012583
Thank you kindly! I hope you'll enjoy it. Unless you've already read it by now, 'cos of my delayed reply. That's cool too. The next episode is well under way!

DF

4044059 Not yet, I've been busy and the fact that it shares space with over 3000 other stories on the list doesn't help. I'll keep it open in a tab and see if I can't spend the hour required to read it tomorrow, err... today I mean.:twilightsmile:

Edit: Hmm, I can just DL it, stick it on my MP3 player and read it at work... Yeah, I'll do that.

Jax

Oh my gosh, I love these types of stories.

4069647
I'm glad. And you'll be happy to know that the third episode is nearing completion.

That was pretty fucked up... meh, she'll be 'fine', about as fine as she was before anyways. :ajsleepy:

So far Dash is my favorite character in this story, which is ironic because I don't like the real Rainbow that much.

Looking waaay too forward to part two! Great as always.

Damn forgot about the Wolf gene. That has to be a bitch.

:pinkiegasp: wo look you can use those nifty emoticons that are ponies BECAUSE THIS IS A PONY SITE WOOOOOW

Good story bro. Always excited to read your stuff...I'm going to see if they have a star trek cross over story. : D

4321378
Sounds good! There's probably hundreds. Hope you find a good one.

I am staring at this chapter like you said to.

4373701
No, shoosh! You can't tell everyone I told you to stare at it!
Oh dear, how embarrassing.

Comment posted by NashaKamalani deleted May 11th, 2014

Damn dude, the chapters are progressively getting more and more fucked up. :pinkiegasp:

Fantastic!


Signed,
--Pyro The Faithful Reader

4376386
Good to know that my story is still relevant for somebody after the two months it takes to write an episode. I'd be lying if I said all these new down-thumbs weren't super demoralizing though.

4378516 Bah, the writing process takes time, more time for some but time nonetheless, I couldn't and wouldn't call myself a faithful reader if I didn't understand that. :ajsmug:

A lot of people just get super mad and rage, downvote and unfavorite stories after awhile, and while I understand that after seeing hundreds of stories just stop, it doesn't make it right, it doesn't cause anybody any trouble by leaving a story favorited or liked, it isn't too big of a deal. :facehoof:

Endless hours of fun and entertainment are great, but at the end of the day authors don't owe us readers anything, and I'm not going to act like they/you do. Excuse my rant good sir and keep on trucking, "#4get-the-h8ter!" as the kids say. :scootangel:


Signed,
--Pyro The Faithful Reader

Great chapter. Seemed a little short compared to the last few episodes but that didn't detract from it much, if at all. Looking forward to the next episode.

4378850
Sorry, I didn't mean the people who already liked and faved and what-not. Those guys are great and I appreciate their patience. I was expressing my woes about these new folks that came by seemingly just for the sake of down-thumbing, 'cos the views didn't go up. But c'est la vie. I'll get over it.


4379102
The word count isn't actually significantly lower than the previous episodes but I understand your sentiments because this chapter had much more build-up and for the most part, a shorter pay-off. There was also more exposition. I appreciate your support anyway. Hopefully Flutters' episode will go alright too, since it's the first one I'm writing that features no major inspiration from other works of fiction. It's a wild, uncharted sea, and I hope that I'll make it through no worse for wear.

I've got to ask who does the awsome artwork

4393698
That's me, I produce all the content for this story. Thanks for the compliment. I'm just a hobbyist though, so my art's not the best. If you want to see my DeviantArt page, it's here.

4628390
Working on it. Was procrastinating for a bit due to a spot of writer's block but that's passed, progress is being made and the chapter will hopefully be released soon-ish.

My interest is piqued.
I enjoyed this foreword, I think it really sums up the state of the world without leaving the reader guessing, so they'd know exactly what they're dealing with.
I also like the sound of all the stories. I'm going to assume that they all act as background material for the characters, then they all meet? Maybe its the aftermath. I'll catch up on the chapters and try to leave comments as I go.

4756515
Huzzah, a new reader. Hopefully I don't disappoint! Your interest is noted and much appreciated.
You're right, this is all background material. Though I imagine writing a chapter with all of them equally represented may prove to be a challenge.
If I end up continuing the story past the upcoming all-inclusive finale (still considering this), I might do more single character-focused chapters in the future. Sorta like how the show is structured.

Well, to be totally honest this is my first foray into the world of Cyberpunk. In general, so I cannot give you any comparisons, but, I can tell you what I'm thinking so far if that's any help?
I like how you really took into account that its a totally different culture. Twilight Sparkle, cursing, complaining about libraries wasting real estate, disliking Princess Celestia? Still thought, it feels kind of like Twilight. The intelligence has proven to carry through, but her personality -Not so much.
I really like you're tie-ins with Pinkie (Eu4ia, I'm sorry to say that took me a minute to get :facehoof:) and we can only speculate Lady Gaea and Commander_Giblet. I have the feeling its Rarity and Rainbow Dash. It seems like Rainbow wouldn't be too offended to pick a name that seems male to other users. I guess that depends on her personality too?
Lady Gaea being Rarity is just a guess, it seems like her character from the show but you have thus far proven to give them a different personality, so for all my theories, they are just speculation.
Princess Celestia really gives me the creeps. Seems to me, that she is not only arrogant but rather cruel, if the mentions of public executions are anything to go by. I don't expect much good to come from her character.
I'm getting bad vibes off Spike. Not in terms of character, but in terms of treatment. Maybe its the attitudes of others in the story so far, but I'm looking at characters with a cynical view. The attitude Twilight has taken so far makes me think that Spike is much more akin to a serf, than a little brother or the like?
The vigilante though? I'm not too sure what to feel, as of yet.
Anyway, I'm still enjoying and I'll continue on.

Well, a lot of going-on's in this chapter. I'm really disliking Celestia in this fic so far. I do believe you mentioned the whole palace wasn't paid for by her? Perhaps by donations, hmm.
I'm curious if the Royal Guard will fight or are fighting against the Gryphon Kingdom? The way I see them for now, is something of a militia that protects the Princess. I'm not too sure how to feel about that just yet.
The fact that Fancy Pants wasn't at the meeting seems like a mixture of good-fortune, or impeccable foresight. I doubt he'd let his comrades die, but I think he has something going on behind the curtains.
I'm actually enjoying you're weapon descriptions, so far. In stories they usually go bear minimalist "He held a gun." or way too detailed "With his AR15, M320 grenade launcher loaded with HE shells..." you get the idea. I think it works.
I wasn't sure how to feel when I realized there were only two chapters of this at the start, but I think the end leveled it out quite nicely.
I also enjoyed that Twilight is on, what appears to me, "time out". This new character, A-Girl's-Best-Friend may be Rarity then? Hmm, so many potential people.
I also feel that it isn't the librarian. Unless you really want to finish this episode off, and never want to use the vigilante, Lucid(?) again, I think that he is still around. I think you're descriptions of the alicorn armour really detailed. It was well done, but I'm disappointed the entire conflict was over so quickly. I think there could have been more to it, but that might just be me.

Terminal? Shit son, she fucked with the wrong ghost probably, and payed the price it seems.

Well, after this chapter the stories feelin' more and more like Shadowrun, with the ghost and cybernetics and shamans n shit, pretty cool.

4756700
I appreciate such an in-depth comment. I feel like I'm getting to understand the first impressions my story might give people. I have changed the characters' personalities a bit and allowed for cursing, to try to achieve the cyberpunk atmosphere. This is actually the only story of mine where characters curse, because I think that authors shouldn't over-rely on swearing to get their point across. But in the interest of writing more natural-sounding street dialogue, I had to allow it for once.
Celestia is much more controlling and callous, that much is true. People in power are rarely portrayed favorably in cyberpunk fiction, which is usually more concerned with the lower classes and criminals, the dregs of society, though these are no modern-day Robin Hood either.
Spike, well, maybe you're right, maybe not. I haven't had ample opportunity to characterize him and his relationships with other characters yet, unfortunately.

4756827
Hah, well, it's the world of MLP. I couldn't get rid of magical and supernatural elements completely. Otherwise, why make it an MLP fanfic at all? Shadowrun is rad though. But admittedly I've only played Returns and its DLC Dragonfall.

Actually, as a precursor to my thoughts on this chapter, I really am enjoying the art at the beginning of each chapter. Do you commission them, or do them yourself?
Alright, now onto the chapter itself. I really enjoyed this, as I see Pinkie as something of Twilight's opposite (She did mention a Mage and Decker were different intellectually, if I remember?) so I think its interesting.
While we seem to be dealing with a different class of people, I don't think this has manifested much beyond Pinkie's addiction, and Rarity's business rivals. Though I could be missing signs, I hope we'll go more in depth next chapter.
I'm really enjoying Pinkie Pie in the hacker role, she fits it well, I feel. It is also immediately obvious that this is not the same Pinkie, starting right away when she kicks River out.
Her crew also seem the interesting sort. I hope to learn more about Coconut, Spring Skies and the stealthy unicorn who is so stealthy that I have forgotten his name. (Comet?) So, while I'm interested in the crew and how their raid will turn out, I think its about time to focus on Rarity.
Binary has you straight away realizing the hazards in the business. But I'm still not sure what this business is, so I'm at something of a loss. I doubt they're dealing in clothes, but I suspect computers?
Anyway, the way Rarity treats her sister is seen to be, well, pretty bad so far, at the end we really get a glimpse of Rarity. So far, in terms of character, beyond her more obvious quirks and uncaring outer facade, it seems to still be Rarity. One who isn't afraid of getting her hands dirty. Er, hooves.
So, I think I can say that this chapter interests me a bit more than Twilight's, if only because I enjoy seeing the crime taking place from the criminal's POV.
Also, I couldn't help but laugh at Zecora, the drug dealing Zebra with a Speargun.

Damn, I was wondering since the second part of Twilight's episode what venom treated paralytic bullets could do, and it seems pretty brutal... When good heists go bad, right?
Anyway, we can see some more of Pinkie's character in this chapter. Mainly the part of worry, she worries over the AI going on a rampage, she vaguely worried abut Sweetie's life enough to get Coconut to spare her. Hmmm, its an interesting contrast to her already laid out drug addicted hacking character, the question is at the moment, is it worry for others, or for herself?
Anyway, Rarity in this chapter. I really think it helped portray her as someone who makes use of what she has been given, but if something is a liability, she would drop it. This really gives her a cold logical front, but we know she cares for Sweetie, so the question is how far the front extends?
Anyway, the master plan for the Bavat killing is in the works. Pinkie is going to hack into the hotel, screw up the AI and Rarity is going to help source our vigilante their weapons. It seems that Eiffel is a prime candidate, but if we all remember, the name Lucid was mentioned.
We also found out who distorted the name of our mysterious vigilante. The pieces are coming together, it seems.
Also, if Rarity is "A-Girls-Best-Friend" who is Lady Gaea, exactly? I guess we'll find out, eh?

4756969
I produce all the artwork for the story, discounting the fonts for the chapter titles and the ampersand transitions. I'm not always satisfied with the quality of the banners, since I'm only a hobbyist, but I feel that they add flavor.
Maybe Rarity and Pinkie aren't as different from Twilight because I didn't bother to include any academic stuff into Twilight's chapter. I agree that I prefer Pinkie and Rarity's chapter to Twilight's though. I was still testing the waters with Twilight's chapter.

Nah, 'spreadgun', man! It's like a shotgun but different for the sake of being different!

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