• Member Since 18th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 29th, 2023

Dashie Bro


I'm a teenage brony. I'm also a Youtuber, a fimfiction writer an all around nerd. I hope to write great stories that my fans will love. I do this all for them and because I love it!

Comments ( 53 )

Wow, Spike's time limit sure is small. He came in like, 10 seconds. :rainbowlaugh: And why does Filthy have hooves if this is humanized? :rainbowhuh:

Change the cover pic and well talk

A bit rushed but lets see where this goes.

Jesus get a pree-reader

im sorry, I just really didn't like this. you really need a pre-reader.

3619197 I know. I stretched the story out as far as I could.

3619198 Whats wrong with the cover pic, it's human Spike.

3619366 Just shut it. I uploaded this last night, I didn't get time for a pre-reader.

I thought it was alright. A few bumps here and there, but overall pretty good. :pinkiehappy:

3622004 hey it wasn't an insult I'm just saying take your time when uploading stories. if it was a one-shot then that's understandable but this is a chapter story you need a peer-reader for a chapter story

3622521 Oh, ok. I used to get alot of negative reviews for nothing, and I just started making fanfics. I have people for pre-reading, it just takes a while for them to respond.

3621997
It makes me cringe when I se it you could find a better pic than that(with a better looking human spike than that eye sore)

3623391 Hey. You try finding a pic of human Spike that sex related. Then I'll change it.

3623398
I would but thats to much work for a story I don't care about, but obviously you care more than me because you made the story so you do it, and pluse I don't even know what kind of pic you would like, moreover there is a group that you can join and ask a plethora of people to make some cover art for you

i like it i really do but is anthro or humanized

3619197 Oh god. Thanks for pointing that out. Edits made.:derpytongue2:

:rainbowderp::rainbowderp::rainbowderp::rainbowderp: i never thought i would say this about silver spoon diamond tiara yes but never silver spoon but
kill it with fire or burn the witch

nice ending my only question where was diamond tiara during all of this

3702392 she was being daddys slut

3702392 I couldn't add her.:facehoof:

3912732 Kinda the point. Pip and Rumble can't get drunk, so they need to be drugged. And read chapter two, you'll get why.

Should be everypony, not everybody.

You should change the cover image before it gets reported for being NSFW.

3913261 Isn't it supposed to be like that because it's a clopfic?:derpyderp1:

3913331

The rules on this site state that no matter what there is no nsfw pics on the site. Just wanted to warn you so you don't get in trouble.

3913343 Thanks. Don't want any trouble on my hands.

3913239 It's everbody if they're anthros.

Great story but to me it wasnt a clopfic it was an enticing story with a great plot line. 4/5 spikes :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Okay, you get a like.

But it was a extremly rushed. Now if it was slowed down much more it would be worth a fav.

Comment posted by Pyriel deleted Apr 6th, 2014

I'm sorry (for nothing), but WTF just happened? Seriously, those two gave in way too easily. They shouldn't have just instantly gone horny and willing to buck any kidnapping slut!! Also, that was so under developed! Seriously, "oh, you kidnapped me? How bout I curse at you a little before losing all my fucking balls and right to call myself a man?!!?"
All in all, fuck you Pip.

Meh, overall, okay, very short, and gets the fuck my horrible life award from the person who hates his life.

3647894
If this is humanized, then it should have the human tag, not the anthro tag

4926767 It's still meant it to be anthro. I just kept saying humanized

Comment posted by Evil_Gumbo27 deleted Jan 28th, 2016

I don't dislike without stating why, so here goes. The pacing needs some serious work and some of the text is much too colloquial to be typically considered in a literary piece of work. Futhermore, some of the dialouge was uncalled for; for example when Spike calls Silverspoon a slut. There were plenty of ways he could've handled that and random insults are not the way to go, unless you wrote this with the intention to write a trollfic.

"Sorry, Silver Spoon. As much as I want to, I don't date sluts." He said. That sentence was loud enough for all the teens at the counter to hear. Everyone went "Oooooooooh", Applebloom laughed as the statement sank into Silver Spoon's mind. Silver Spoon turned red with embarrassment and anger and left for the far end of the counter.

BURN!

Silver Spoon didn't admit it, but she had a crush on Spike. When she found out that Spike and Applebloom were dating, she was heartbroken. She couldn't tell what hurt worse, Spike was taken or Spike chose a flatty over her. She wanted the pain she felt to leave her and go to Applebloom, but how to make her suffer? Her best friends! Or more specific, their boyfriends.

SpecificALLY, and oh dear.

5145693

Uhh… me too …

Oh! This too much for me! Hahahahahahaha! I cant breath! Hahahahahahahaahaha! Spike! Check this out! Hahahahahahahaha! He shipped you with applebloom! hahahahahahahaha!

S-silver a slut?! Nah! *sees silver bouncing her boobs towards rumble outside* never mind.

So silver what should I do to you?

Mph!

I know! I'll call the police and tell you you rapped pip and rumble!

Mph!

9-1-1 thereyou go! Hello police...

Oh silver did'nt go to the bar again for that reason she was turned to a mare that is always horny and locked in a cage by me

So where to begin?

First: Pacing much? no really the story went as fast as a speed run in Sonic Generation in Green hill act 1

Second: Calling Sliver Spoon a slut when all she was doing was getting Spike attention was uncalled for.

Third: Sliver Spoon plan felt, weird and dumb at the same time. Ok why would she want to rape Pip and Rumble when she's after Spike? It would make more sense if Sliver Spoon, drug Apple Bloom as well as giving her something to make her horny as fuck, and have at least one teen to record the act then sent it to Spike.

Forth: Where in the hell was Diamond Tiara? If her dad owns the teen bar then I know for sure he'll make his daughter the manger.

Sorry if I came a bit harsh but those are the errors of the story I can't get over.

You get a like.

But.

Two out of five Spikes
:moustache: :moustache:

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