Fluttershy has only ever used her stare to intimidate, to get what she wants. What happens when she uncovers the secret behind her talent? Is there more than one thing that she can do with it?
This isn't the best story in the world, nor does it have the best plotline (yet). This is my first fanfic. Please don't be too harsh with criticism.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is very nearly unreadable, because of the horrible spacing. What did you originally type this out in? And did you use an unusual font?
Pros: Getting use of the ' correctly, and writing "ponies" instead of "ponys" and highly interesting and humorous premise, with a humble, self-deprecating sense of hunmor on the author's part, especially in the "long" description.
Cons: Just not strong enough. The idea alone isn't enough to have that face-punching effect I like in fiction, I like powerful writing as well.
Conclusion: Definitely will read later and see it materialize!
Is too short too read and you need editor too help you and don't be scared to use all of the page and not end up with pon---------ies like so it very hard to read le that.
3505304 What do you mean? I understood it perfectly fine and the spacing is grammatically correct for the most part.
3511201 He has fixed the problem. When I first opened this, the number of words per line (not sentence) were somewhat random, with------large-------spaces-------between words on a 'short' line. Now that it's been fixed, I'll give it another look.
3512026 ah, alright then
"...your stare can, well, it can hypnotise ponies.""
Yeah right, if that was true, I'd be hypnotized into pressing the add comm
...ent button. Oh, I almost forgot. Nice story!
3564916 It isn't exactly what hypnosis really is, but seriously, we're talking about a show about magic making unicorns and Pegasi with multicoloured coats. The next few parts, I hope, will be more true to what hypnosis really is.
Interesting, very interesting. It's looking good so far, I can't wait to read when Fluttershy performs hypnosis on other ponies. Keep up the great work, looking forward to read more.
this is too weird, i cant read this anym-
this fic is perfect
Feh!
The stare is weakness, like this fandom!
3720079 Really? Then why are you here?
3720180
Take a guess.
3720183 What sort of guess?
3720233
Any guess.
Just guess, why am I here? Why am I doing this?
Guess.
3720239 I have no idea
3720239 You really sound like that 'guess' guy from My Music.
3721974
I do it for a response, numbskull brony!
3722411 The person you should have replied to with that comment is Twilight_Scratch.
3722473
Meh.
when Fluttershy is talking in this story, for some reason her voice sounds more high-pitched. i dunno why images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110609165923/gyropedia/images/f/fd/FluttershyShrug.png
Hypnotize Rainbow Dash into not flying for a day. Convince two ponies they are each other, and hypnotize Rarity into disguising them as each other.
So I'm guessing that Fluttershy will eventually gain confidence and decide to convey 'special' feelings to other ponies? *hint hint* *cough cough*
4612183 I understand what you mean, but if she gains confidence to express feelings, it will not get "physical".
4615716 damn, it was worth a shot
4615838 If, however, you do want a more appropriate (for this story) scene written, I may be able to.
4616116 I guess she could do something similar, but be nice about it or catch herself before she does anything she would regret
Can hurry up and continue... um... if that's okay... I mean... um...yeah...
4783694 I'm so sorry!
I should update more often but I have so much to do. 
Please forgive me!
OMYGOD! FLUTTERSHY! PLEASE TURN EVIL AND HYPNOTIZE EVERYPONY!
OMYGOODNASS! It would be awesome if Fluttershy went completely power hungry, hypnotized everyone, then made them all ignore things about her attitude changing, stuff like that. And then, they will all help her take over EQUESTRIA! omygoodness. I need a life
It's a shame you couldn't progress with this, it's super cute.
5780178 Lack of time, motivation and ideas. I would like to continue it though.
Me:
Me: *crying as I remember the terrifying events of the dreaded gore fic, Cupcakes*
Me: oh dear neptune
5378162
You really, really do