...how nice, two thumbs down within 10 mins since the story went live. We have some true fast readers around here...

3464701

I'll be honest; I skimmed it, but I didn't downvote.

3464701
Most fics involving rape of any kind will get downvoted pretty harshly based on just that concept alone. A lot of people around here get real uppity about that sort of thing.

3464701
The more downvotes a raepfic it has, the better it is.

hiveworkshop.com/forums/attachments/general-gaming-565/109099d1324390837-elder-scrolls-v-skyrim-lulz-inb4-world-shitstorm-10367-1319825894-53-1-.jpg

inb4 "I know ppl who would find this very offensive!"

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3464766
It could also be the roundabout swipe at every other rapefic on the site that attracted the downvotes.

I can see some people not liking this, (in fact I remember a discussion I had with a friend once how two people could RP rape and it wouldn't technically be 'rape,' due to it being consensual RP and he either misinterpreted it or thought I meant legit rape)

But my why boner was totes worth it.

This is an interesting trollfic.

Downvoting rapefics is routine. Your description made read and ultimately do the inverse.
Proper good job, guvnuh!

Pffff all of those downvotes and it's not even what they think it is. Silly people.

That was great.

Read the whole thing.

A legit "enjoyed rape" scenario is impossible in my mind, therefore I do not blame you for failing. But fail you did.

My two bits: find something else to write about.
Your creativity and writing skills are fine, t'was only the absurd concept that ruined this story for me.

This was not what I was expecting at all, well done! I hope you do more like this, it was brilliant! Also, where did you find the cover image? And the image you linked in the authors notes says I can't view it as well, do I need an account?

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The cover was commissioned from WilkolakNerevar. I replaced the link to the image in author's notes with an alternative on Tumblr, reload and you should be able to reach it now.

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Well, for true Celestia that was just what she desired from moment one, and hinted at it whenever she could. It wasn't that she somehow began enjoying it, she desired it from moment one! You could only be mad at anon for genuinely raping Constance - but keep in mind that she could have left at any time. Can't really condemn the rapist if the victim is too stubborn to just stand up and walk away! I don't really see what's so hard to accept here...

3465764 I read it, but I downvoted on this chapter.

The concept was...interesting. But I honestly cannot decide whether or not to vindicate the guy or not, and am probably going to have an aneurysm figuring it out- thumbs up in the meantime though for the attempt though

You sick man!! You've gone and made me a sick woman!
No seriously this was good! As stories go this was great, clop I played it out in my head a few times, such clop. Anywho I demand a sequal!

Sorry, would this raepfic you are referring to be My Little Slave?

upvotefollowcauseuaregreat

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Not really. Any of dozens of rapefics.

MLS suffered from bad planning. The author really struggled to explain away things he didn't foresee as needing explanation earlier on, and in the end got entangled in own improvisations beyond recovery. (not to mention half-year hiatus breaks.) You could easily apply Tragedy tag to what was supposedly consensual BDSM fic. It was too poorly written to really have an impact on me.

What I could give as a representative example of what I meant is Not Now, Big Brother. It's excellently written, it's borderline rape (although well inside the border) - not a violent rape where things are clear-cut, but something between a brother and a sister, brother too insistent, sister not insistent enough... it really did have a heavy impact on me, spoiled twicest pics for a long time, and generally left with a terrible aftertaste.

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Bad in a good "That was horrifying" way or in a bad "I shouldn't have read that" way?

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Bad as in "too lazy to plan a coherent whole in one go, let's try to fill all the gaping plot holes later". Give the antagonist godly powers and then explain their source as Celestia? Have Celestia suffer a heavy stroke of dumb, making her go along with the half-assed plans of a sex underground gang without ever checking their impact on the society?

That's why I never release a story for which I still haven't at least sketched the ending.

Unless you mean my aftertaste...
No, I come to Ponies for a respite from this ugly world, not to torture myself more. If I want to feel more pissed off, I have dozens of real-world news sites for that.

Odd story, but not the oddest I've seen.

Too short, that's my only complaint.

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Advertise a story as clopfic, make it over 25k words and nobody will read it...

I have to admit I'm not much one for rape fics -unless the guy or girl deserves it- but this one was one I will gladly mention to people to read if they are interested!!!

i think it was a good store like a few others I think its to short I would love to see more on what happens to both of them and let what thay started be finshed. plus I just love human on pony stores not euff of them.

5 hearts on me for a really good store and hopeful more to come.

I liked that. That twist was certainly unexpected, too -- I just thought she was uptight...

your description has hooked my interest , indeed i don't like those aspects about rapey stuff or rape fics at all , so i'll definitely have to take a look at this one later when my com stops freezing from me having to many tabs open of stories i want to read later........
wait what....

You know, I wasn't really expecting you to deliver on the warm fuzzies promised in the description, but I'm happy to be proven wrong. Have a 'stache.

This was really nice. I did skim some stuff here and there but you did a great job with Celestia. Thumb up!

3472850
You should. It's still pony erotica.

3472867 I see whatcha did there.

ok need more

AHem, you sir are a dick for LEAVING THAT FUCKING CUTTOF !!!!!!!!!!!!!MMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3474303
Heh, I'd totally love a story about anon traveling Equestria and solving all kinds of problems through means of friendship and >rape but unfortunately, my inspiration only can get so far before I run out of ideas...

3464701 Often the way. I posted a story yesterday, and within a minute there was a thumbs down attributed to it.

That aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. It was well-written, and the plot was surprisingly solid for a clop fic, let alone for a rape fic. I hope you write some more based in this universe.

Thanks for writing.

>Despite the [Human] tag, this is a pony-on-pony clopfic.
.....wait what? whywhat?....

3475597

However, the 'Anon' protagonist doesn't share my urge to think hard about his situation. He's portrayed as being completely indifferent to his plight, rising to the level of some sort of suicidal mental disease.

You'd be more among anons, you'd see this is not really uncommon. The life tends to turn into such a dreary, that tackling a chance to make a difference - any difference, at any price - becomes a goal all by itself. If you look around, some of the school massacres were started by anons. It's that league. If you can't relate... feel lucky.

Also when Celestia refused the hug, I was pretty amazed. I thought that a realistic, relatable emotion had entered the story. Of course she's not going to want to be hugged by a near-stranger; not the day after she got raped in the mouth. Nobody would want to be touched after that kind of experience. In fact, he was sociopathically rude for even requesting the hug.

In my headcanon, Celestia is made from tougher material than that. To withstand what she withstood one needs a truly incredibly powerful psyche (not to mention in this story's canon her psyche has been 'reinforced'). No mere cock in mouth can break her, or even significantly hurt. Meanwhile, phobias reach deeper than that. These really could hurt her.
Still, the obligation to reward the hero for a heroic deed is very important to her. She'd even be willing to suppress her phobia.

She goes on to voluntarily kiss a man immediately after being raped. This represents a pretty fundamental misunderstanding by the author about what rape is. That kind of juvenile portrayal is pretty common among rape fanfiction, which is for better or for worse.

Rape is, when you boil it down, insertion of certain organs into certain orifices. There's nothing inherently harmful in that. What is harmful, is everything that surrounds it; fear, humiliation, helplessness, hate, pain, all that can create a lot of very deep damage, but all of that happens only in the victim's psyche. If that psyche is strong enough, the only result will be some lingering anger. In this case Luna takes it worse than Celestia herself!

Celestia knows that she's being raped under threat. She could have an internal struggle whether to condemn and hate her attackers, or to forgive them... that kind of thing could rip her up inside, and provoke some very interesting arguments, especially considering her status as a benevolent loving leader. But instead, that avenue got a really shallow treatment. Luna busts out street justice and starts summary executions, and Celestia does nothing more than waggle a forehoof, tell her she's naughty, and then forget about it forever.

First, Luna *is* equal with Celestia. They don't agree on everything but Celestia won't stop Luna if Luna is bound on something. She did disapprove, but what was she to do, throw a fit about it? Banish Luna? And then, Luna is impulsive. She was really scared, and personally would probably gladly obliterate all who might have potentially meant a harm for her sister. The fact she left two thirds alive is the best compromise they worked out together - judging them by their actions. These reluctant or gentle, acting under duress, were spared. These, who tackled the opportunity - died. These, who resisted, were set free.

And as for "street justice", this is attempted assault on royalty, in a setting where royalty is not merely a tourist attraction. Look up punishments in these cases - e.g. medieval laws concerning that. A painless death in sleep is exceptionally merciful.

Damn man I've always had head cannon that something like "Constance" happened to celestia. Awesome read well written designed and executed

oh , well that was pretty good , only kinda left lacking in the clop department :/ , don't feel any of that 'guilty pleasure' stuff , just a little disappointed....

3476060 i don't care what you say head canon nobody died in this fic and it certainly wasn't any of the royal princesses who would have done any of said killing.....

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Ah, idealism. Luna is the night. Beautiful, one you could sink in feeling safe and warm, but she does hold dangers and mysteries. She isn't always a nice pony. Sometimes, where Celestia would try and fail in her gentle ways, Luna is just plain efficient - lethally efficient.

Only four of these guys never meant to harm Celestia. The mentioned "ten or so" though went beyond that. Given free reign to their actions, they choose ones the princess was not willing to stomach. The dream was created with intent to identify the one who saved Celestia, or at least ones who are safe enough to release with the populace, but Luna seeing what some of them would do to her sister... made their slumber deeper.

And cinnamon, the scent of distant land, the scent of warm holidays, of travel and exotic places - tempting, teasing, familiar yet strange, well known yet mysterious. Light and pleasant but spicy at the same time, sometimes forgotten but when you taste it, you like it.
Breeze has nothing on cinnamon.

3477451 that's not efficient by any means though as it does nothing to solve the root cause of the problem and indeed only makes things worse....

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The root cause is here, back on Earth. A bit beyond focus of the princesses. Besides, put yourself in place of Luna watching that - watching them do horrible things to her beloved sister. How long would you stand? Would you release them with a slap on the wrist?

3477535 i would treat them......

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And so would Celestia, no matter how futile that might be.
Luna though... is more radical.

3476060

I would be okay with what you suggest about Celestia. If Celestia's soul is made of steel so strong that being raped is nothing to her, then that would be okay (a little dull, but okay), so long as the story actually acknowledged that in some way. As it stands, it doesn't look like it was written that way intentionally. It looks like either an oversight, or a callous depiction of women.

As for Luna going on a killing spree, take a look at my original post again. My problem isn't with Luna doing what she did. It was with how nobody acknowledges that these people were under duress. They were threatened with violence if they didn't rape. In the dream, Luna herself is the one who threatens them with violence, and then she kills them for something she forced them to do? Just because they enjoyed it too much?

Honestly, I don't have a problem with that. Like you said, she's the ruler. It's realistic and possibly expected for her to do that. That plot decision is just fine. The way this entire plot went is just fine. The problem I have is that all the events are portrayed as having no gravity. They're treated as foregone conclusions, and not addressed with any emotion.

For example, Celestia could have said something more intense than a little verbal finger wagging. She could have mentioned, "They were scared." Anon could have said as much. He's someone who cares about others right? He could have said. "Why did you do that? None of us chose to be there. We were told that we would suffer. Does your anger justify what you've done?"

There was so much missed opportunity there to put the reader through the moral wringer, and get them thinking about these characters and their true mettle--their soul, what all this means and how it will change them forever.

3477451

Mmmm

This has invaded my headcanon now. Luna, princess of ruthlessness. Hawt.

-sigh-

guess i'm in4moar plz.

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He had as much emotion as I use to eat breakfast. He put as much thought into it as I put into 'Pepsi, or Coke?'

You can't get into the mindset of a truly depressed person - feel lucky again.
These decisions are long made and he doesn't even pause to reconsider. Contrast him with others - worried about their fate, pondering options, angered, agitated. He's extremely calm - that is true depression. Yes, that does feel very much robotic. Yes, all emotions are extremely subdued. Insomnia. Self-esteem is right through the bottom. Bare minimum of survival functions. Apathy. Automatic execution of life functions. Few stirrings at things that really do pierce through the layer of depression.

And then he lands in Equestria and it tears him out of the depressed state.

I honestly wondered the whole time if he was in a dream and he knew he was in a dream,

That's how life feels when you're in depression. A very tiring, boring dream.
While possibly I made you not give a crap about him, I'm fairly sure I got a whole lot of readers to identify.

I would be okay with what you suggest about Celestia. If Celestia's soul is made of steel so strong that being raped is nothing to her, then that would be okay (a little dull, but okay), so long as the story actually acknowledged that in some way.

Oh, it is - only later. The whole premise of the story is about Celestia giving mixed signals. Simultaneously unbelievably tough mentally, and vulnerable, terribly crippled by the "perfect princess" trope (can't even be unhappy!) and yet leaking feelings all over through cracks in that shell. An emotive, live being trapped inside a cold robot. To discover this, and to break her out of that shell is the ultimate task of the protagonist.

As for Luna going on a killing spree, take a look at my original post again. My problem isn't with Luna doing what she did. It was with how nobody acknowledges that these people were under duress. They were threatened with violence if they didn't rape. In the dream, Luna herself is the one who threatens them with violence, and then she kills them for something she forced them to do? Just because they enjoyed it too much?

Because they went far over and beyond what they had to do. They were free to choose what to do. Some of them were evidently uncomfortable with that. They were released. Some just made the best of the situation. They were deemed not safe enough to be released among the peaceful population of Canterlot, but left unharmed otherwise. Some though choose to enjoy it far, far too much. Celestia is not comfortable about that, but she realizes raising a fuss wouldn't help a bit. And "am I supposed to feel sorry for them? Good riddance!" - is a good peek into the mindset of typical anonymous. Life really doesn't mean much to them, neither own, nor others'. That mindset may seem strange, alien, and hard to believe to you, but seriously, it's quite realistic. I choose anon, and not any other person precisely because it's one naturally-formed society in the world where you could easily and realistically find 30 willing rapists in half a hour. And yes, you don't understand them and their mindset just like Iron Night didn't.

One more thing. Moral-wringer was not my goal. Putting the reader in a moral wringer is far too easy. I struggle not to put the reader through moral-wringers. To create situations of realistic, believable distress or duress, and simultaneously not make the reader queasy? This requires some quite tricky editing.