The Nightmare has returned, using Rarity as her new vessel. Twilight steps up boldly to save her, but is soon lost to the darkness. What evils lie in wait for these two now? What horrors await the innocent in their path? Can they take over Equestria?
Not likely, seeing as it's still Twilight and Rarity, and despite the new looks, it's the same old ponies. A new romance between the pair does little to aid their conquest. Heck, it would take complete incompetence on the guards part and easily scared ponies to see these two in any real position of... power...
We're all doomed!
Chapters (5)
Everyone knows that nothing is more Pure then true love,
Whoever said it couldnt be Pure Evil?
My friend you need to watch out for Rainbow tag syndrome!
Considering I can't focus on my own writing, time to read this!
And they sedate the whole town, bucking everything in sight.
One down Lulu. - comma.
“I’m glad to hear that sister. But we have a problem, I cannot find Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, or Rarity.” Woah woah! Where did Luna come from? It sounded like Celestia was just talking to herself, and then Luna appears out of no where.
I noticed in your last story too that you forget to use commas when a character is addressing another one. While linguistically most of our brains don't need them, it still looks weird without it. I rushed e e e the first time and bucked it up too.
So just remember to use them, and they are easy to remember. "I really enjoyed tonight, Rarity."
the 6 unless on a sign or piece of paper, all numbers are spelled out.
Celestia swearing. Huh...
The element of Generosity the is not capitalized. Element is. I'm gonna break all up since I'm doing it on the phone.
Not sure the capitalized protest from Rarity works. I'd just recommend writing it normally.
Old stallions, marble slabs, and Rarity. I can see why you like reading what I write.
With a burst of dust and light, the chamber exploded I'm the twilinaught, bitch!
We will kill you where you lay if you move a muscle.” Woah woah! This is... I don't think something Twilight would say. Or am I missing the darkness of this story? Sounded like a comedy at first.
The endarkened mare stopped - Lavender unicorn syndrome~
I do feel like the is really rushed my friend. It could have easily been another two thousand words longer. The tension was lost because it happened too fast and I wasn't pulled into it fast enough.
“You’re cute when you don’t know what’s going on.” Twilight chuckled. yes!!!!
... Okay. Now I see why you like my perverted stories. I really, really, really see this now.
Just think this is rushed!
That last line………read it.
Fantastic. Just FAN- frikin-TASTIC
i81.photobucket.com/albums/j205/racaulk/Television/Futurama/bender-doomed.jpg
"Dooomed!"
This could really benefit from another proof-read, but it's a great concept and is well-executed.
Looking forward to the next chapter mate
You know what's weird? The Comic Book had Nightmare Rarity too. Was this intentional, or...? Just curious.
Either way, the story...eh.
This is somewhere between ...coal and diamond, shall we say?
The diamond is trying to form from this coal, but it needs just a bit more. Proofreading and length, really. The humor's nice, even if I'm not in a laughable mood at the moment...
Continue! (Please!)
Yes. More please!
3431906 I imagine so given the art used.
3431906 The comics provided the Character of Nightmare Rarity, but I took her and made her mine. I didn't care for the demon on the moon angle, so I put a little spin on it.
3433759 Would you like to join the Nightmare Regime? For an Equestria free of Freedom
3426455 Rainbow tagging is so much fun though. And just wait Kilted, this story gets as raunchy as I'll go without actual clop. This is a dark comedy. Expect unannounced swaps between the two, as well as the whole fiction flirting the line between them.
3437262 ... I see why you like my stuff.
Excellent.
Perfect chapter
Joining the Nightmare Regime and going up against solar goddesses that tend to trap evil on the moon.....wow. That's gotta be quite some morning for poor Spike. Let me finish laughing now.
Now they just have to go and build an army, probably make up their own religion, conquer all the smaller places like Fillydelphia, Trottingham and such.
They could name it the NNR; New Nightmare Regime!
Sorry, I'm bad at naming things.
3444482 How did you guess the first town they attack? Cause you were right on the money about the location
3449733
Just a lucky guess.
Also, Fillydelphia doesn't seem to be the luckiest place in ANY universe.
Ok, this was hilarious!!! I like ir a lot!
Opalescence is the Master of Evil... I must admit: I didn't see coming. But it's fantastic!!
good god this is awesome
Those typos...
Another great chapter, I love how dim Twi and Rarity are, despite their amazing new powers and I adore how they keep selling their ideas.
There are a couple of spelling and grammar errors here, but nothing too major. I'm loving how casual Twi and Rarity are about being evil, and how easily Twilight's hostile takeover victims and Spike sold out to the dark side. Twilight and the pumpkin spice is hilarious, as well as Fluttershy's scene. Something kind of bothers me though. They seem to be trying to convert their friends, but the swift threats towards Rainbow and Pinkie show that they aren't all that concerned for their friends' wellbeing. I hope that they weren't being totally serious and still care about their friends, and don't go the route of "I'm evil now, I don't need friends". Just because they became evil doesn't mean that everything they used to care about isn't still important to them.
Looks like Applejack is the only pony in Ponyville to stand against them, and once she goes down it'll be a cinch to bring the rest of the town under their control. I'm betting that she goes to Rainbow Dash for help and gets captured easily.
This was AMAZING!!!! I love especially the end:
The recruit of Dash and Pinkie was amazing. The intent of recruit Applejack also.
But this.... this? This is GOLD!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to see Fluttershy screaming under the "care" of her mistress Twilight and Rarity
This is one amusing story. Everyone's OOC, but in a fairly silly story like this, that's not necessarily a bad thing.
There are a few spelling mistakes and misused words, but they're fairly common mistakes. A skilled proofreader could clean this up in about five minutes.
This is just getting sillier and sillier. Nothing wrong with that.
The two worst villains in history. Even Doffersmith is better
3880983
Yeah, that guy
Love this story. Love Rarity and Twilight trying to do evil and failing
omg this story is just so damn funny, all hail our failords!!!!!
Oh Faust! Please update soon!!!!!
Mooooorre
A very nice balance of comedy, romance and villainy. Looking forward to more, good Sir.
I don't know what to say other then:
+25
How can something written so half-assed be sooo good?
You've activated spike's trap book!
I wanna see cadence join the nightmare regeime.
Sam !, write more on this I NEED MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i bet cadence is gonna join.
I've been laughing the whole time I was reading this.
ok, really, a tangle reference as soon as shining shows up? bad! no frying pans!!
Beautiful.
I lost it at shining armor getting panned
This is so damn funny
Oh no, Cadance is coming to stop their 'evil' regime!
...
Slumber party!
4756071 4756901
That was a Airplane! reference:
More man.
More