Alternate ending to "Mistress Do Well." Her dream crushed and spirit broken, Rainbow Dash disappears from Ponyville without a trace, leaving Twilight and the others behind with the unspeakable atrocities they put her through.
I ask myself that question a lot. I asked that every chapter of the first Mistress Do Well. And now I'm asking it for the sequel. I just.... I don't know any more. I read some messed up stuff some days.....
DOWN WITH WEEKLY UPDATES! DOWN WITH A SCHEDULE! RELEASE THE FLOOD! CHAPTERS GALORE! MORE CHAPTERS! ALL THE CHAPTERS- ahem. I am pleased with this development.
You know, sometimes the questions left unanswered are just as satisfying as the ones explained in detail, the story following only the two characters allows us to come up with so many theories for what the other characters who have been effected by this are doing to cope, and the fact that we may never know allows us to wonder if they are doing better or worse then Twilight. One thing I am curious about, however, is if Rarity is still in the coma or if she had finally passed on, or even recovered against all odds. I wonder if Dash will go see her "little sister" while she is here, that would be a heartbreaking scene and a half.
3367502 So, I've noticed you continue to call Twilight a Unicorn, even though in this story she's a Alicorn. Is this intentional and you consider her still a Unicorn, or is this just a slip-up? Just curious.
Hmm. Not sure about this chapter. Not sure. I'm not sure I can properly evaluate this chapter before reading the next chapter. (I'm not just saying this to prompt you into faster releases, this time, I mean it) We need to see where this goes. Is this chapter believable? Ehh... Quite possibly. But not certainly. Everything was 100% believable until RD pounced on Twilight. For some reason, I'm just hesitant to buy that RD would enable such an act, regardless of circumstance, because of all she had been through. But yet, I'm not going to go so far as to say I believe that she wouldn't, I'm just hesitant to believe that she would. Future chapters will help either reinforce that RD is acting in-character, and explain why, or they'll reveal this to be out of character. Who knows which.
Despite my hesitation to praise this chapter to the degree that I have praised the previous ones, I definitely HAVE NOT lost any interest what so ever. If anything it has intensified. She's back. I must stay and watch to see what develops.
Edit: I also wondered this: 3367588 , but for the moment, in my head cannon, she's wearing the rarity one. (will change headcannon if necessary) If she's wearing the earring as a sign of remembrance, to remember why she must never drop her guard again, then I would think she would wear the one of the pony whom was the worst, which is obviously rarity.
3367578 Whoops. I noticed two around the middle of Gratification. During the sex scene, if that helps. I think there were a few more in previous chapters, though.
So what happened to the schedule? Once a week. Wouldn't that have been better for you/the story overall, by giving you more time in between chapters to make edits based off feedback? Don't get me wrong, I love that for the past three days, waking up and there being a new chapter to read, but it sounded like you had everything so planned out at the beginning.
"Thanks once again, but, I deal with the loneliness the best ways I can."
I've read that sentence in a not very innocent way, and I thought that I should stop reading clop. Then Rainbow Dash happened. Apparently I can't fight my destiny.
'No magic or flying in any daily chores or routines' turned out to be a phenomenal coping mechanism.
One paragraph later:
Mayor Mare had announced multiple times her displeasure of Twilight's choice to remain in Ponyville, and told the unicorn that the only reason she didn't force her out was because of Princess Celestia's counsel.
Twilight wheezed as Rainbow's hooves strained her air supply. Her eyes were wide with fear. After several silent seconds, Rainbow let up, and Twilight gasped for oxygen as Rainbow placed her forelegs on both sides of her head on the floor.
You would think that Twilight would have resigned herself to the possibility of her murder at the hooves of Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow's head descended, and her lips met Twilight's in a fiery lust. Her tongue invaded Twilight's mouth, probing her gums as the pegasus took her breath away. The kiss didn't last long, as Rainbow made her way down to her neck, and first kissed, then sucked, then bit, hard, causing Twilight to gasp. That wasn't a loving nip, but still, Twilight wanted more.
A year's worth of the mare's version of blue balls, times two, culminating here.
Twilight wouldn't be getting off tonight.
Poor Twiliy, her balls continue to be blue. An eye for an eye leaves he whole world blind, and a rape for a rape leaves the whole world with AIDS. Bad form Rainbow Dash, bad form. 3367807 I have called attention to this as well, however, he seems determined not to retcon it.
ANOTHER UPDATE!!! Man you sure are submitting these fast. Good thing your in control of the story. And I agree with WithRegardsTo, only future chapters will tell the real truth to what goes on in the minds of fractured elements...
I do not see a derpy pony. I see Derpy, a pony. One day I will figure out how to get a sig on Fimfiction.
DAT MOVIE DOH! so much better than the chapter... so inspiring... JKING lol but that made me laugh after this
this story is so depressing i've cried reading this and the other one, actually i skipped from chap 2 to 5 with the other one in fear my views of the mane 6 would be destroyed - they were brutally murdered i now hate rarity more than before - so i went back and read the chapters i had skipped except for # 3 and yeah basically my views are shattered.
"After everything that happened, you still consider me a friend?" "Twilight, while Rarity may be a different story, I doubt the four of you instantly became sadistic just so you could torture a friend into changing her ways. It was a situation that you lost control of. That's it, and with the way things are now, there ain't much you can do to correct it. Everypony made their choices on how to try to deal with this. Applejack made hers. You've made yours. You've done your best to move on. No reasonable pony can ask anything more."
There are 7 instances of the word unicorn in this when talking about Twilight. They need to be fixed to say alicorn ____________
“I hate all of you with every fiber of my being. But you know what I hate more? The fact that I've thought about you every single fucking night since I left. My heart and mind want to gut you all for what you did, but instead my body aches for you, and I don't know why.”
Needs to be conected with Dashie's dialog above. _________________________
Don't watch until you've finished chapter 4.
Something quick and silly for my awesome readers.
I see you've lost all discipline for your once-a-week schedule.
Good, good. Let the chapters flow through you...
3367421
I... Ok then.
Why not.
~Skeeter The Lurker
What... did I just read?
I ask myself that question a lot. I asked that every chapter of the first Mistress Do Well. And now I'm asking it for the sequel. I just.... I don't know any more. I read some messed up stuff some days.....
DOWN WITH WEEKLY UPDATES! DOWN WITH A SCHEDULE! RELEASE THE FLOOD! CHAPTERS GALORE! MORE CHAPTERS! ALL THE CHAPTERS- ahem. I am pleased with this development.
3367498 Chapter 5 is to be bundled with Half Life 3.
3367502
*shakes fist to the heavens*
GGGGAAAAABBBBBEEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!
3367503
Oddly enough, it's actually been confirmed. No joke this time.
You know, sometimes the questions left unanswered are just as satisfying as the ones explained in detail, the story following only the two characters allows us to come up with so many theories for what the other characters who have been effected by this are doing to cope, and the fact that we may never know allows us to wonder if they are doing better or worse then Twilight. One thing I am curious about, however, is if Rarity is still in the coma or if she had finally passed on, or even recovered against all odds. I wonder if Dash will go see her "little sister" while she is here, that would be a heartbreaking scene and a half.
3367502
So, I've noticed you continue to call Twilight a Unicorn, even though in this story she's a Alicorn. Is this intentional and you consider her still a Unicorn, or is this just a slip-up?
Just curious.
3367576 Slip up.
Yay, Rainbow's back.
And which cutie mark earring did she get?
Hmm. Not sure about this chapter. Not sure. I'm not sure I can properly evaluate this chapter before reading the next chapter. (I'm not just saying this to prompt you into faster releases, this time, I mean it) We need to see where this goes. Is this chapter believable? Ehh... Quite possibly. But not certainly. Everything was 100% believable until RD pounced on Twilight. For some reason, I'm just hesitant to buy that RD would enable such an act, regardless of circumstance, because of all she had been through. But yet, I'm not going to go so far as to say I believe that she wouldn't, I'm just hesitant to believe that she would. Future chapters will help either reinforce that RD is acting in-character, and explain why, or they'll reveal this to be out of character. Who knows which.
Despite my hesitation to praise this chapter to the degree that I have praised the previous ones, I definitely HAVE NOT lost any interest what so ever. If anything it has intensified. She's back. I must stay and watch to see what develops.
Edit: I also wondered this: 3367588 , but for the moment, in my head cannon, she's wearing the rarity one. (will change headcannon if necessary) If she's wearing the earring as a sign of remembrance, to remember why she must never drop her guard again, then I would think she would wear the one of the pony whom was the worst, which is obviously rarity.
3367721 You've been one of the most devoted fans of this story so far. If you want to discuss some things in PM, I'm all ears.
3367578
Whoops. I noticed two around the middle of Gratification. During the sex scene, if that helps. I think there were a few more in previous chapters, though.
So what happened to the schedule? Once a week. Wouldn't that have been better for you/the story overall, by giving you more time in between chapters to make edits based off feedback? Don't get me wrong, I love that for the past three days, waking up and there being a new chapter to read, but it sounded like you had everything so planned out at the beginning.
Wow ... simply amazing. Now we get to see Dashie mind fk Twi, and get started on the road to recovery. Although the angry sex was interesting.
3367502
Jokes on you, they trademarked it a few weeks ago; it HAS to come out in 2014!
3368316
that trademark was actually removed
3368555
Then I'm afraid I'll have to go with Kodeake on this.
GGGGAAAAABBBBBEEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!
Great job as always
All I can say is Dat video
What did I just see?
Wow, the budget one that movie must have been HUGE!!
Wow, gotta say I didn't see that coming at all.
Mental delusions and trauma combined with hot passion and hatred.
What a psychotic adventure this is turning out to be. All the chaos. Their "chaotic minds". (See what I did there?)
I await what happens next.
3368998 Post-production was a headache.
I've read that sentence in a not very innocent way, and I thought that I should stop reading clop. Then Rainbow Dash happened. Apparently I can't fight my destiny.
3369165 how much did you have to pay the actors?
One paragraph later:
You would think that Twilight would have resigned herself to the possibility of her murder at the hooves of Rainbow Dash.
A year's worth of the mare's version of blue balls, times two, culminating here.
Poor Twiliy, her balls continue to be blue. An eye for an eye leaves he whole world blind, and a rape for a rape leaves the whole world with AIDS. Bad form Rainbow Dash, bad form.
3367807 I have called attention to this as well, however, he seems determined not to retcon it.
ANOTHER UPDATE!!!
Man you sure are submitting these fast. Good thing your in control of the story.
And I agree with WithRegardsTo, only future chapters will tell the real truth to what goes on in the minds of fractured elements...
I do not see a derpy pony.
I see Derpy, a pony.
One day I will figure out how to get a sig on Fimfiction.
3370347 Hey. There is a difference between determined not to retcon, and just not catching them in my haste to get you guys chapter updates.
DAT MOVIE DOH! so much better than the chapter... so inspiring... JKING lol but that made me laugh after this
this story is so depressing i've cried reading this and the other one, actually i skipped from chap 2 to 5 with the other one in fear my views of the mane 6 would be destroyed - they were brutally murdered i now hate rarity more than before - so i went back and read the chapters i had skipped except for # 3 and yeah basically my views are shattered.
Oh, this almost seems like it could end here. But so many chapters left. I'm glad :)
3367421 That video...
Who are you and what have you done with Big Mac?
P.S. His answer should have been 'Eyup'
4341258 Dude that one paragraph had more words in it than Big Mac has uttered since season one
There are 7 instances of the word unicorn in this when talking about Twilight. They need to be fixed to say alicorn
____________
Needs to be conected with Dashie's dialog above.
_________________________
This was a good chapter.
Wow...did not expect Rainbow to do that...
The way she blew Twilight off at the end though...so cold, yet so well deserved.
*Looks at Dash* Why did I think this time would be different?
Harley Quinn: Hey, I know the feeling. Trust me, joker's done worse.
*Looks at Harley* Let's just keep reading.