Alternate ending to "Mistress Do Well." Her dream crushed and spirit broken, Rainbow Dash disappears from Ponyville without a trace, leaving Twilight and the others behind with the unspeakable atrocities they put her through.
I have to again state how amazed I am at your ability to write such moving stories. Not only do you get the characters perspectives quite well, But the whole story draws you in.
I "can" wait for the next chapter due to the fact that you can see how much effort is put into this. Thank you for the chapter and may your writing continue to bring you joy.
I do not see a derpy pony. I see Derpy, a pony. One day I will figure out how to get a sig on Fimfiction.
I am not sure what to think. The journal entries were interesting. Spike was the only one who had nothing to do with anything, and he had every right to leave like he did. So why does his return not sit well with me? I think that it may be because even though Rainbow Dash forgave everyone, Spike still has not. But why does that piss me off?
It pains me that the only way to show true appreciation to these works is to click a button that marks the story as a "favorite." I wouldn't read half the things I do if I didn't think I favored something about it. From Adventure to Romance, I feel that you have done it all, in one way or another. You, sir, are nothing less than an inspiration to future writers, and I am proud to work along side someone as great as you. I know this might be coming a tad late in your career, but godspeed miles.
Aw, it was really nice of them to mark that place as the grave. It held a lot of significance for Rarity's character (I really like the episode which takes place there!). It was also very nice to hear the different characters' final words to Rarity. Plus, they really show that you're aware of, and care about, the characters' different viewpoints and their different interactions with Rarity. Pinkie's mention of her cart ride was funny (well, most things connected with Pinkie are funny!).
And what a brilliant surprise to see Spike turn up! I wonder what he was doing there. The reports that Spike read were quite chilling, what with how unemotional, clinical and, as Celestia put it, analytic they were about such grisly, horrifying abuse. It was a good idea for you to put in a flashback to the actual abuse in between the reports (the part with the force-feeding), because the actual, real, horrible abuse gave a good contrast to the disconnected reporting, and helped remind us of what was really going on in the basement.
I was a bit apprehensive about having the story revisit the abuse in the basement and its immediate aftermath, because it meant that the story was going backwards - pretty much all the way back to the beginning. I was worried that this was going to slow everything down, or derail our journey to the story's end. I mean, we've reached a point where everyone seems to be ready to leave the past behind, forgive each other and move on with their lives, but now this chapter's focus is, suddenly, being yanked back to the beginning of the process that should be almost over!
But then I thought, "actually, this isn't as bad as all that." I mean, we finally get to see Spike's perspective on things! I always like it when we get a My Little Pony episode that focuses on Spike, and it's also good to see some attention given to him here, too (I mean, I love the ponies and all, but I like to see Spike get attention as well). Admittedly, Spike's appearance here, and his meeting with Rainbow, does seem a bit unnecessary to the overall story (maybe it'll seem more substantial or important later), but it's still just good to see him again (it isn't really MLP: FiM without Spike!). Plus, Spike provides yet another character to observe and respond to Rainbow's attempts at reconciliation, like Swiften Just and the princesses did in the previous chapter, and that's good.
the thing that sort of gets me with this whole thing is how fucking detached the rest of the mane 6 were during the "treatment"..... like, they really thought rape and torture (not saying bdsm because no consent and no safe-word) was the way to go.... not calling rainbow out and talking about it, specificly punishment. that is still fucking with me..... especially twilight, holy shit.
not saying this is bad..... im crying cheezy ass tears of joy because of this story.
i hope spike never comes back..... just to fuck with twilight some more.
He didn't know how to feel or think. The pages before him shocked his thought processes into complete paralysis. Sure, Dash needed help keeping her promises, but... Surely, they wouldn't have gone this far...
I was gojna say, I'd have an issue if Spike wasn't present.
I have to again state how amazed I am at your ability to write such moving stories.
Not only do you get the characters perspectives quite well, But the whole story draws you in.
I "can" wait for the next chapter due to the fact that you can see how much effort is put into this.
Thank you for the chapter and may your writing continue to bring you joy.
I do not see a derpy pony.
I see Derpy, a pony.
One day I will figure out how to get a sig on Fimfiction.
After reading that, I lose a lot of sympathy for the five. I feel sorry for Spike, his nice little niche was ruined totally in a few days.
I am not sure what to think. The journal entries were interesting. Spike was the only one who had nothing to do with anything, and he had every right to leave like he did. So why does his return not sit well with me? I think that it may be because even though Rainbow Dash forgave everyone, Spike still has not. But why does that piss me off?
KBO.
It pains me that the only way to show true appreciation to these works is to click a button that marks the story as a "favorite." I wouldn't read half the things I do if I didn't think I favored something about it. From Adventure to Romance, I feel that you have done it all, in one way or another. You, sir, are nothing less than an inspiration to future writers, and I am proud to work along side someone as great as you. I know this might be coming a tad late in your career, but godspeed miles.
This is getting even better the more I read it. Now the one thing I really want to see is Rainbow and Twilight really bond. AND I DON'T MEAN BONDAGE.
Aw, it was really nice of them to mark that place as the grave. It held a lot of significance for Rarity's character (I really like the episode which takes place there!).
It was also very nice to hear the different characters' final words to Rarity. Plus, they really show that you're aware of, and care about, the characters' different viewpoints and their different interactions with Rarity. Pinkie's mention of her cart ride was funny (well, most things connected with Pinkie are funny!).
And what a brilliant surprise to see Spike turn up! I wonder what he was doing there.
The reports that Spike read were quite chilling, what with how unemotional, clinical and, as Celestia put it, analytic they were about such grisly, horrifying abuse. It was a good idea for you to put in a flashback to the actual abuse in between the reports (the part with the force-feeding), because the actual, real, horrible abuse gave a good contrast to the disconnected reporting, and helped remind us of what was really going on in the basement.
I was a bit apprehensive about having the story revisit the abuse in the basement and its immediate aftermath, because it meant that the story was going backwards - pretty much all the way back to the beginning. I was worried that this was going to slow everything down, or derail our journey to the story's end. I mean, we've reached a point where everyone seems to be ready to leave the past behind, forgive each other and move on with their lives, but now this chapter's focus is, suddenly, being yanked back to the beginning of the process that should be almost over!
But then I thought, "actually, this isn't as bad as all that." I mean, we finally get to see Spike's perspective on things! I always like it when we get a My Little Pony episode that focuses on Spike, and it's also good to see some attention given to him here, too (I mean, I love the ponies and all, but I like to see Spike get attention as well).
Admittedly, Spike's appearance here, and his meeting with Rainbow, does seem a bit unnecessary to the overall story (maybe it'll seem more substantial or important later), but it's still just good to see him again (it isn't really MLP: FiM without Spike!). Plus, Spike provides yet another character to observe and respond to Rainbow's attempts at reconciliation, like Swiften Just and the princesses did in the previous chapter, and that's good.
the thing that sort of gets me with this whole thing is how fucking detached the rest of the mane 6 were during the "treatment"..... like, they really thought rape and torture (not saying bdsm because no consent and no safe-word) was the way to go.... not calling rainbow out and talking about it, specificly punishment. that is still fucking with me..... especially twilight, holy shit.
not saying this is bad..... im crying cheezy ass tears of joy because of this story.
i hope spike never comes back..... just to fuck with twilight some more.
SUCH! GOOD! STORY!
This story could easily be an actual episode, if it wasn't for the main plot device being a collaborative rape by the mane 5
Everytime I read this story, it still amazes me on how well its written. Fantastic job.
One more chapter please?
3983218 I'm working on it.
Oh, but they did Spike...they did...way too far.