Ponyville has disappeared. Or, from its inhabitants' point of view: the rest of Equestria is gone. Twilight has no idea what's going on, and neither does anypony else. Nor do their new, not-quite-human neighbors - and the fact that they're still a good distance away from any other civilization is probably quite a good bit of luck.
In Equestria's place is a strange world - the dawning world of nuclear post-apocalypse. The Pyri Communion and its cities, the vast wallworks of the Wolfreich, and the great Eastsea merchants of Gotland; mutants and robots, friendlies and hostiles, freaks and monsters, and the remnants of the Olden Age - humans, the heirs to the apocalypse that they brought upon themselves. Even now, hundreds of years after the Catastrophe, nobody truly knows what happened, how to survive the aftermath, or what really, really dwells in the depths of the deadly Forbidden Zones.
The world is picking up pieces from a still-burning wreckage, and now yet another piece has been thrown into the storm. Will the ponies survive, and at what cost?
Svin-äte-mig, nu möken blir det åka av!
Oh look, random insta-dislikes without reading! I'm so proud of you people.
3280806 What a great way to gain fans, insult them!
No, but really, it might be the description. There's only an exceptionally small amount of people who dislike here for the sake of disliking.
3280851
Yeah, I know. Still, it feels pretty stupid - a story with 1 view and 2 dislikes. Like, waaat.
I guess I'll just have to wait for the more sensible people to come online. Even my less gritty stories have dislikes on them, after all. I suppose I caught this upload at a bad time. ^^
3280806 Title's in swedish, yet story written in english.
There's yer problem methinks.
3280858
That's actually not even a new thing. No, I don't think that's what itches here...
Frankly, I think it's just a problem with posting Dark/Gore tagged fics. Same thing happened last time I tried it, with The Late Clock. Some people just don't like seeing their ponies in harms way, I guess.
Well written, but I had to use sheer force of will and make myself get through it. There's simply WAAAAAY too much telling here. You do NOT need 2,000 words of backstory at the very beginning of your story. Backstory isn't a hook. And to complicate it all, a lot of what you've said is just gibberish. Names that have no meaning since we have no idea what this world is like. (Which sounds kind of counter-intuitive, since the backstory is supposed to tell us about the world. But it's true) And for all the telling, I still can't even picture what any of the characters even look like. I know one has ears or something.
I'd go back and establish the scene first. Get us in with the characters before explaining anything at all. Your readers will wait a surprisingly long time to be told anything at all about the background of the world. Get us in the with the characters, show them doing things, get your story rolling. THEN you can weave in the background here and there.
3281757
Yeah, I know. It's just, I need to do stuff this way when I start up new things. Other than that, though...
I mean, come on. I expect you to be able to figure out what, in a world of mutants and various creatures, a RUBBIT is. There is a One Letter Difference. Long ears, etc. It does not take that much force of imagination to figure that one out.
I admit, though I could've given Zee a bit more actual description rather than just "short and humanish", but that's more to do with the old PC I based her off having to be de-cheesified. I mean, I wrote her when I was like, 14. So much cheese in that character. Exan is a later incarnation, but still, I never really paid that much attention to appearances in human-looking people like that. Exan is more of an archetype than a person in the way I made him - as is Zee post-cheese removal. It's been a while since i last dealt with these characters on a more visual plane, so my imagery is rather fuzzy.
Also much of this was written while I was like, half asleep and shit. Think of it as a rough first draft of sorts. Hopefully I'll be able to sort it out later, but sometimes you just gotta sit down and throw things out to get them rolling. Right now, what I have for the characters are concepts; the basic sheet data that I cleaned off the cheese from and based their characters off. The telling is largely also a meager attempt to throw some world at you; something about the whole thing with using a Swedish tabletop RPG as a crossover base just makes me want to go all LET US TELL YOU ABOUT PYRI on yo asses.
This will be revised later on. Alas, I have an exam on thursday, and other fics to write. Still, feel free to point out more specifics, and I'll have a much easier time working out the kinks when I get back to this project.
>6 dislikes
u wot m8?
I'll bet it's because most of the chapter didn't involve ponies until the end. :V
Always glad to see a Ring of Fire-esque story.
3318144
I actually have a 1632 crossover back in the back, but it became a confusing clusterfuck so I had to let it go.
Finally read it, and I have to admit that I'm a bit lost, as the setting is very alien to me. That said, I do love me some post-apoc society (hence my love for both Fallen Earth and Fallout Equestria).