Author's Notes
Hey Audience, Doc here with some parting (rambling) words along with some history.
I never expected this story to be well received or received at all. It really just started off as a passing of ideas between a friend and I (the scene where Toby and Twilight are at his apartment for the first time). From there it was an itch in the back of my head that needed to be scratched, so I spent the whole month of February (2012) writing it. By the end of three weeks or so, I had already had the first part written (the first 13 chapters), and after getting a few opinions from some people (all who really liked it), decided to put on this site. I remember watching grow, and everything. Hell, i was surprised to say the least. The next 17 chapters were not really expected to be written, but it was done.
Now, a lot of this was writing as I went. Surprisingly enough, i only had an end i was working towards, and a lot of the time i didn't know how to get there. That being said, there was a lot of stuff not included that will never see the light of day (i.e. there was more to chapter six that would require a different rating for this story). There were also a lot of things i added, per some comments i got, such as storyline things, but i can't quite remember though. And as much as some of you wanted Trixie and Lord Swift to end up on a nice sliver platter, didn't think that would appropriate for future events.
People write for different reasons, such as for the fun of it, or purposely for a message. This one just went out to those, in this community, who have served their country or in the future will put themselves in that position. There isn't many stories out there like this or many (I felt) that do well in the manner of presenting the story. I tried to do my best, not presenting it in a Pro-this country/political party thing, though everything is biased in some sort of fashion. I did try my best to be realistic and be relatively close to actual "combat situations", without having prior knowledge and i hope i accomplished such.
Anyways, all that being said, a quick shout out to J.Xayph and Sphinx76 for bearing with me and editing this. I can be kinda an ass when it comes to deadlines and whatnot. A big thanks to them for working with me and hopefully continuing to work with me on my works. And a thank you for everyone who has read this and stuck with me from the beginning, because I didn't think i had it in me to write and be a writer. Seriously, my english teachers hate me.
Godspeed, and Good luck. Till next time.
Dr.Shisno
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Thank you very much for writing this.
And another comment bearing praise and love for the story and commendations for the author! And I gotta say, you're not the only one that makes English teachers out there cringe, my first paper for college netted me a fat D, man was that a shock to my system. However I can safely say that who cares about all those rules and regulations for writing when you have done an excellent job of providing us with this story?
Also, do you have any concepts or ideas that you might be pursuing in the future?
A FREAKIN' MAZING! I loved this entire journey, and though it is now over, I will remember it always.
I didn't really care how long each chapter took you to write. The quality was well worth the wait
Great story, I am honestly going to miss it. I would love a sequel, but first I want the spinoff with Rarity finished so we can get a sequel about Starlight and maybe Mr. Russian
I'm very glad that the story didn't end at chapter 13 or so since it would have meant the rest of the this impressive story would have never occured. Additionally it went from a damn well written soldier in Equestria, more like Twilight on Earth with a soldier but you get the idea, to that plus an equally interesting part two.
My Stuka is still prepped for your call to bomb Fortress Trixie to the ground!
Excellent story man, I feel privileged to have gotten to read it.
* insert long winded coment on how great the things listed are: writen, carried out , portayal of characters, and emotinal moments*
In all seriousness, this was great and needs a thing with grown/school age Fantasy
I really enjoyed your story
thanks for sharing this with us.
may your imagination inspire many writers to come.
PLEASE!!! DON'T LET IT END!!
1565883 Personally, i want to finish all the works i have out right now, but lots of ideas that I work on every now and then (Like my Pinkie, Rainbow, and Luna ideas that keep bouncing around in my head that i haven't worked on in awhile.) Otherwise (if future events play out wonderfully) a possible sequel. Possible. I want to finish things first before i say yes.
So...that epilogue. I needed some relaxing yet emotional music to play in my mind during it. My mind went to this:
Anyways. Great story, Dr. Shisno. I'm sad to see it come to an end, but I look forward to what you come up with next.
This story was beautifl
y epic
1569048 Thank you, Im very proud of it.
The "My goodness" part of your comment is enhanced by your Luna avatar. It kinda gives the impression that Luna is not amused by my salty language.
Though seriously,
FUCK TRIXIE!!
AN FUCK LORD SWIFT!!
Twas a long beautiful run, but now the story must come to an end.
Oh well, I loved it. Took me forever to find it after reading it that one time so many months ago, but after I found it again, I was so satisfied. And now that I got to see how it had ended, I have no regrets.
Adieu~
I DEMAND A SEQUEL
images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120121070414/mlp/images/8/82/FANMADE_Rainbow_dash_saluting_by_lixr-d48ekba.png
If you write a seqeul (which i hope you do) i get the feeling it will involve Starlight getting in the guard (much to Twi's dismay and Toby's pride) and saving the kingdom from something. If you didnt have an idea, you can use this one.
One of the better stories I've read on fimfiction. I hope to see more from you, good sir.
Such an excellent story, sir. Thank you for sharing your creative work with us, we will treasure it always. Honestly, this story is one of the best I've ever seen. I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors!
I salute you doc! This is why you are honestly one of my favorite writers. May good fortune follow you where ever you go!
My ARS has been stolen from the Vanquish universe and prepped for the destruction of trixie, man do I hate over inflated ego'd bitches..
Well, it had to end at a point. At the first point I never expected it to go like this. But, things happen. Anyway, I hope you are considering a sequel for this
What a perfect read for remembrance day. Thanks for the amazing story,
cbc.ca/gfx/images/news/photos/2009/11/03/f-remembranceday-cp-584.jpg
"Lest We Forget"
Thanks for writing this and all man
And I gotta agree with you there's not a lot out there like this and you did pretty well
Still the odd thing clicked in my brain
Like MREs I don't get what everyone complains about I think they're nice as
And you're kinda taught not to really care all that much about what happens to the other side, specially when they're trying to kill you
But thanks man I enjoyed this
1573024
Man I gotta ask this
Why is your name marine marksman of you're in the army?
1605497
Well fair enough then
Can't say if join the army but i am in a different country so maybe the army/marine thin is a little different compared to out army/sas bizz
By the way why aren't you deployed ssgt?
Or do they not deploy the army in Afghanistan. That'd explain why Ive only met marines
My grandpa was a bomber in Vietnam,
some of his friends and squad mates didn't make it out...
He also received a purple heart when he was shot down, and one of his escort fighters landed, in enemy territory, and picked him up. My grandpa only suffered a broken arm and his, now friend, got the medal of honor for valor and bravery.
Reading this story helped me remind myself of the effects of war.
Thank you very much for such beatiful fic
giin for raritys 
1720188 well done comrade, i applaud your efforts!
Spent all night reading this story and loved every moment
. A salute to you and your fantastic story and hoping to read more of your stories after some much needed rest.
Man. This story was so sweet.
best....fic....EVER!
2567031
pigroll.com/img/hello_yes_this_is_dog.jpg
wow you should help me with the flashbacks in my story because i don't think i did so well on my first one
but besides that good story this one had me on the verge of tears, pissed at Trixie and Swift, what ever emotion the character felt i felt good job 5/5
2725476 according to what i understood, it is some kind of cancer. but i know that feel. i couldn't join the danish homeguard because of epilepsy. imagine suddenly having a seizure on the training field and accidentally shooting a fellow soldier or two.
I have to say, this was a pretty good story. The first few chapters really hit home for me. Also, Human Twi is best Twi.
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pleasssssse let there be a sequel!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you don't mind.
*Keep in mind that this critique is for professional constructive purposes, not trolling. Take it or ignore it, that's up to you.*
Overall Score: 7/10
Good:Protagonist is a good match for Twilight. Worth dropping those manly tears you've been saving up (Don't lie).
Bad:Beginning can be slow. Grammar errors spotted every so often. Certain actions questionable.
This was my first story being centered on a human soldier, and, being a soldier myself, I admit I was hesitant. I remained hesitant for several chapters, for many things bugged me. I felt Twilight's personality didn't match up with her human version. She's introduced as a bookworm, which is a part of her character, but...that's it.
After that, I felt I lost "Twilight", and from then on was reading about some anxious soldier's girlfriend with the same name. There were periods when there were "Rarity" and "Pinkie Pie" moments between the two, but no "Twilight". And for Celestia's sake, since when does the news show footage of bloodied soldiers on national television? Especially only minutes after the attack was placed! That was probably meant to be a big "tension rising" moment, but it was a really big "WTF" moment to me.
Things got much better after Toby returned from his final deployment. I actually started sympathizing with the guy, and Twilight began to shift back into being "herself" after returning to Equestria. (And I totally expected everypony to call Toby "Phil" for short. Just a funny thought.)
Now, Lord Swift and Trixie. That whole segment felt weak and, as a whole, out of place. Perhaps if Trixie actually wanted to harm Toby as a form of revenge for Twilight, it would have been more believable. Plus Swift attacking Toby in a library in the middle of Ponyville? With a knife?? I've seen "evil genius" type villains that don't quite fit, but this one takes the cake.
.
Overall, the chapters were spotted with several grammatical errors, missing words, and repeated segments.The pacing felt stinted at times, with unnecessary exposition or explanation when the reader can deduce what is happening already by what the characters do seconds later. For example:
I didn't understand why Twilight was upset with me, so I decided to ask her about it. "Twilight, are you okay?"
But all those are just nitpicks, really. It was well written, with plenty of feels sprinkled all over it, with a nice ending to leave the reader leaving the story with a good feeling. I found particular interest in Spike's reluctance to get along with Toby at first, due to him having "killed his own kind". To me, this young and naive viewpoint could easily have been anypony's reaction in Equestria. Wouldn't you agree that someone whose entire life was within a peaceful utopia without war, would react in such a manner to someone such as Toby, even if his actions might be considered necessary?
An emotionally charged read, which I would definitely recommend to others.
I give One Soldier's Twilight 7/10, and a thumbs up
3118018 Brofist/Brohoof (I'm a Pewds fan
)
3134349 It was a good morning Vietnam reference, I'm not that stupid :P
3134363 24.media.tumblr.com/c21cd83ea070204a95e981d633063e86/tumblr_mig1e8Okmz1s51zjyo1_250.gif
i actually wanted to put that reference in, just no place for it
Loved it, hope for more.
3534599 If you are referring to what Movie it was in, We Were Soldiers.
As for the origination, it is the song "Sgt. McKenzie" which is Scottish in origin
Faith in humanity restored.
I recently finished reading this, and I have to say I really enjoyed it very much. In spite of the happy ending, I can't help but feel sad for Toby's family and friends back on Earth. Well done, sir.
I threw this into my read later a long time ago. This is one of the early stories I added into it, I could say that. And today, I realized that I've done the worst mistake. I should have read this sooner.
3828684 O_o
...I'm having one of those moments where I look back at that comment I made at that time ago, and think, "Oh god, that used to be ME."
A friend of mine sent me a link to this story over the weekend and I just spent the past few days reading this story I have to say I enjoyed it very much. I would of wished for more main 6 interaction with our character Toby other than that I hit some elements I did enjoy. I want to contribute something to this story, fan art some day. But as I was reading each chapter I envisioned a soundtrack playing. I want to share this playlist I made for this story. I hope you enjoy the music I selected for each chapter. ENJOY!
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYJomz9Wz1ytCeLgxkWPbW1qben8Dex4K
nice