Fat1thatyoulove
Joined 5th Nov, 2012 ·
Offline
Sequels1
-
Fat1thatyoulove · 99k words · 32 7 · 999 views
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- Fat1thatyoulove · 23k words · 25 4 · 587 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 11k words · 26 2 · 706 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 29k words · 22 6 · 1.2k views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 9.7k words · 28 4 · 712 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 68k words · 27 6 · 485 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 12k words · 28 3 · 651 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 14k words · 31 6 · 709 views
- Fat1thatyoulove · 16k words · 28 2 · 646 views
Featured In1
Stats
Page generated in 0.109 seconds
Total duration
1,027 users online
59,823 hits today, 2,073,628 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Omg when he said bow ties are cool I was listening to doctor who dubstep he said at the exact time.
First one to say first gets hit in the face with a dictionary!
*Gets hit in the face with a dictionary*
Again!
Another child! Well that's nice of you fatty.
3176494
First!
Oh and welcome to the waiting game, seeing as how your caught up with the series now. Hope you enjoyed your run though of the series so far!
3174635
Nice
3176494
AHHHH I some how new Fatty would do this again....
no more magic for what 15 months? 
3176878 there is only one stallion she has been with and that's the main character .
And I'm pretty sure we are going to keep it becouse violet might want a sibling.
P.S. I actually have a cousin that's name is violet.
3176977im pretty sure that or 11
3177531
Oh that's cool, and well ya I guess Guy and Twi are kind of stuck with it.
For now
You should have noticed by now, nothing is simple.
3177543
3176977
Her carrying period would be messed up due to the magic Dr.Stable talked about.
Note to self, don't read comments first because there will be spoilers.
And yay you used my title idea!
Ntsh
Still ntsh
This is a comment
Ntsh
3177584 Nothing is simple. But tell me you are not going to go there with this.
3176878
*throws the dictionary of every language at you* Didn't say which dictionary.
Awkward or embarrassing ending?
NTSH
Leux got notin' on me.
Wait twilight isn't an alicorn? I need to re read....... Again.......
Again...
again.
This is embarrassing...
oh well
AWwww... I thought it was a good time to eat some meats
Needs missy do nothing walking in on them...
Shortest chapter?
Violet half human half pony hybrid
I don't get the last part... Is violet... Pregnant or twilight?
3176411*looks at the book* well than....
I had to reread that just to get it and it was a pimp smack of "oh crap"
3178083how could violet be pregnant she is still a filly
3178247
lol
3177968
He will find you
and read to you.
3179561 /kill Leux
3182615
3182616 i like being god
or at least the powah!
3182759
yay
words
3178258
I'm with Spike on this one, bow ties are definitely not for me~~~
ntsh ^^
Fantasie Gras, sieh an~~~ *cough*
Sérieux?
3177968 Challenge: accepted
... So for I point the following out
I thought a lil while about what is still problematic or not too good in your writing skillZ, Fatty ^^.
The Quoted sentence is in fact the perfect example to explain one of the still remaining most disruptive Problems. ^^
As you can read out of it; you describe a scene here, BUT in the same sentence you 'Print' an comment of Guy or rather his opinion about that was will come, the "yay?"
So fore let me analyze the Yay?: I guess it is some kind of shrug expression meaning something around the lines of "should I be enthused with this situation and if, should I care about it?"
You can see, the meaning of the yay, but it is definitely far too complicated to get the meaning, to keep the story flow liquid.
And so fore disturbs the reading/understanding flow.
If you describe something it helps extremely to keep in mind; your readers DON'T want to think about what you have mean, BUT it is a totally different thing if your Characters are cryptic or difficult to get, IF it is part of who they are, BUT(the second) level it down, so that super confusing Characters are partially unriddled through other Characters or scenes or them self explaining or planning the confusing things.
*caught*
Challenging back: find the running Gag~~~
3178014
"Perform a weather Spell" ah yes... so very specific *cough*
ntsh ^^
He... Tehehee... HAHAHAHAAA!!!
Violet, ya got a lil sister or brother comin'
To be honest, that made my day... and probably it will still make my day tomorrow
Gut gespielt Fatty XD
3309519
Challenge: accepted
Revoked
Leux...Leux...
Come now you know that nothing is simple...Here let me explain "yay" to you and why I used it.
First off remember this is a 2nd person story (even though Guy has become somewhat of a Canon name for you.) So here we go, seeing as how it's a second person story I use sentence explain his thoughts or better yet your thoughts instead of just telling you how you are feeling. Why I dose this?
Because seeing as how this is a 2nd person story I believe that the informal way of writing feels more personal.
I picked "yay?" as the response because the vast majority of readers would most likely not want to go and look at an art exhibit. (especially not on Hearts and Hooves day if you know what I mean
)
But again why the informal way of saying it? Well seeing as how this is 2nd person story wouldn't you rather have a more personal feeling? After all the idea of 2nd person is for you to be in the story.
(let me better explain)
The fake smile you had slightly fades as you watch Twilight trotting pass you, yay?
Red highlight: The perspective is you so this explains that character's immediate reaction, the loss of smile shows he doesn't want to do what she suggested.
Orange highlight: Again the perspective is from you, so this character is watching the scene unfold. This means it is NOT a scene but rather what you (the reader) sees happening around them.
Green highlight: This is after the coma. Now I do a lot of different things in my writing style which i'll talk about next. But what we should have a good understanding about is that usually when the perspective is that of the Guy then a coma is either more of the room or his memory OR his thoughts. (In this case it's his thoughts) There should be no guessing for the reader to understand how the guy is feeling right now, because his reaction is described with the "red highlight", so this means when it comes time for the thought part of his perspective (which is common in my writing) the reader already knows how the Guy is feeling. Which is "oh great we have to do this?" Or what you said would also be a respectable answer to the "yay?"
BUT FATTY Y?? Why did I not just tell you what you were supposed to feel? Why would I allow all these different reactions to the sentence. Leux look at where that sentence is.
It's at the end.
NOW you see ! And if not I shall explain.
like I said before in this comment, remember this is a 2nd person story, and that means you were supposed to insert yourself into it (Really you don't have to but hold that thought) seeing as how you insert yourself I didn't want to make you believe something that you didn't believe.
hints why Twilight asked if her parents were still ok with watching Violet). If the reader knew why they were going there (which was to spend some quality time together) then I would have ruined the main point of this little part, (i'm of course talking about while they were at the Fantasie Gras not Cantelot).
~~~In this instance, I didn't want to flat out tell you that you hate art viewing. But the vast majority of readers would most likely not want to spend there time looking at an art gallery. Especially seeing as what day it is and where they are (remember they had this planed for a little
So I put this at the end of the chapter because it allows the reader (for the few seconds it takes the page to load) to already subliminal understand as to how the character is feeling, in hopes that the reader would take the Guy's feelings as their own. Which helps give the next chapter a feel before they even read it!1! (Mind control baby)
LASTLY, why was it put in informal writing? I want the story's main character to be somewhat personal, so using the informal writing style I am able to directly show his thoughts and feelings. Which in hopes will be the same feeling the reader has.
Really Leux you proved my ideas about informal writing working quite well. You (a reader) picked a response to "Yay?" which fit quite well for the character's thoughts, and which (unbeknownst to you) helped your mind link to the character's emotions.
...Ok I said I would go over more of my informal personal writing further, but this comment is WAY to long so, note to self, write less mean more.
)
(If you want to here more of my madness i'll happily message you, if not I highly understand
TLRD?
Lol, ya no there's no way of summing this other then. Hopeful subliminal mind control via word and sentence placement.
...hmm I hope your not color blind..I used a lot
P.S. still love your comments!
3309831
Thanks, I thought it was well played also.
3309876
That was simply to good ^^...
... or rather easy
Ya get the immaterial cookie of wisdom, if you get what I mean
Hint: "There is only so much you can teach with your Words." *pivots his whiskey glass*
3309884
3310039
lol, I get the immaterial cookie of wisdom.
Meaning
still a cookie
I have the achievement for saying knowledge about something not related to the situation...
Now from the words you picked it tells me I didn't persuade you to my madness, but you understand where I got my madness from. So I still give you 5 out 5
3310072
As the bag bursts into flames because of his conflicting emotions... He seams to be over his unstable magic?
4164778
Yep, by now he would be.
3309338
Bow. Ties. Are. Cool.