Chapter 1: A Gift or Mistake?
Chapter 1: A Gift or Mistake?
Celestia stood staring at a yellow orb her eyes low with sadness as she casts the final protection spell upon the orb which was lodged deeply in the center of a pedestal of gold. She turned to leave. Before she left she sneaked another look at a black Alicorn with a pink mane and tail which was contained within the globe.
"Forgive me." she says the sadness trailing through her body and up to her throat.
Celestia leaves; closing the thick magic seal doors behind her and locking them tight with her own magic.
-Present Day-
Twilight trots happily throughout the castle saying hi and waving to everypony she passes; being careful not hit them with her wings. She continues her lovely trot through the Canterlot gardens.
"I'm gonna take the maze this time a little change of scenery never hurt anypony!"
Twilight trots along through the maze which was much easier considering she had her horn and a pair wings this time around. Twilight observed the maze as she trotted noticing something strange at one point in her walk the leaves on one part of the maze began look slightly grayer than the other around it.
"Weird." Twilight said.
Instead of freaking out over the matter Twilight continued on, but something in her brain gnawed at her telling her something wasn't right. Twilight pushed the thought far away from her mind and carried on.
-------------------------
Celestia one of the rulers of Equestria walks through the halls of her castle quietly in the dark night. She stops at the door to her sisters room. The princess opens the door with her magic. The room was darkly lit with blue and black candles and crystals along with the decor. Celestia's sister Luna stands at her balcony staring at the maze as her mane flows in the cold crisp wind of the night. Princess Celestia walks up to the side of Luna.
"I'm going to visit her again."
Luna stays silent. Celestia pushes again to get a response.
"Would you like to come with me Luna?"
Luna speaks up.
"I'm sorry sister but it is too painful to face a foal we have corrupted."
"Luna that wasn't your fault and you saved her life!"
"We have caused her to feel the sadness of being torn away from her mother and this world!"
Celestia backs off slightly.
"I understand then."
The sun goddess leaves her younger sister to mourn alone.
"Goodnight Luna."
Celestia leaves and starts her long trek to the middle of the maze
-The next day-
Twilight casually walks through castle saying hello to everypony just like yesterday, but instead today she has decided to check on what has been gnawing at her brain for hours, the part of the maze where she first noticed the discolored leaves. Last time she simply wrote it off as some dying plants, or mishap with the pesticides.
"I need to know for sure."
Twilight was always set off by the littlest of things and sometimes that was good at times her instincts have helped Equestria in the past, but sometimes they have caused more trouble than good. Twilight thrusts her thoughts away as she arrives at the same spot she found the decaying leaves yesterday only to find a hole through the hedge to the middle of the maze.
"What in Starswirls beard is going on here!" Twilight says shocked.
Twilight walks through the hole to the middle of the maze which was covered in dead leaves except for a circle in the middle.
"Strange. This part isn't cover by leaves" Twilight says as she walks over to the circle.
The circle begins to glow white then black for a few seconds.
"What the?"
Twilight touches the ground. It begins crumble away like it was thousands of years old. Everything in the hole looked old except for a white crystal star in the middle. The star was white then black almost like it was fighting for control. Twilight levitates the star up to her face to examine it closer. There was a white and black side each fighting for control of the star. Twilight goes to touch the and is shocked being thrown backward as little images and memories flow around her. Twilight lands on the ground as the star levitates still above the ground. She struggles to stand having understand the stars purpose.
"I-I understand now."
Twilight regains her strength grabbing the star and rushing back to the castle as fast as she can.
"I have to get to the castle."
Twilight rushes past guards and the princess of the night. Twilight arrives at the said location of her target but, there was nothing here but a dead end.
"I don't understand. Its supposed to be here!"
The star starts to glow as Twilight searches for a hidden door of some kind anything at this point. The star shines then releases a blinding light the wall starts to peel away and dissolve revealing a door looking almost good as new.
"I see."
Twilight runs her hooves across the door taking in every feature. It was purple with a golden trim at the edge with a star shaped indent in the middle. Twilight takes out the star and wastes no time putting the star into the slot. The star falls and shatters on the floor as Twilight fails to catch it. The door begins to open the magic that was once contained in the star was now coursing through the door powering it. Twilight rushes inside horn ready only to discover everything was not as it seemed. The room looked brand new like it has been watched over for quite some time but that wasn't the kicker, there in the middle of the room was a yellow orb which was lodged deeply in the center of a pedestal of gold with two rings one slightly smaller than the other they were rotating all around the orb which held a black Alicorn with a pink mane and tail. Twilight goes to touch the orb mesmerized by it.
"Twilight stop!" Celestia yelled.
Twilight turned around happier than ever.
"Princess Celestia your ok!!" Twilight says rushing to her.
"Yes I am perfectly fine why wouldn't I be?" Celestia says embracing Twilight into a hug.
"The star it showed me images of you writhing in pain being hurt and tortured."
Celestia looks over at the now shattered star.
"I see now. The star can show the holder good or bad memories to attract other ponies here."
"What is this place and who is that pony?" Twilight blurts out.
Celestia holds up her hoof calming Twilight down.
"This place was made to hold that pony."
"But why?... She looks so young." Twilight says staring at the floating pony.
"Something...happened a very long time ago and she had to be dealt with.. for the safety of Equestria." Celestia looks down saddened.
Twilight looks at her teacher, she was hardly ever sad but this was something else. She was hurt a long time ago and it was related to this one pony.
The princess perks up "Come Twilight maybe we can discuss this over some snacks?" Celestia asks smiling slightly.
Twilight shakes her head "I'm sorry princess it's getting late and a princess needs her sleep!"
"Of course goodnight Twilight Sparkle. I shall be here attending to...her."
Twilight walks away slowly trying not to make eye contact with Celestia or the other pony. Twilight arrives at her room finally she was quite tired after a long day of exploring.
"I'm sure this will all blow over tomorrow and everything will go back to normal." Twilight says slivering into the covers.
Twilight tosses and turns in the middle of the night as she has nightmares about the mysterious pony. A hoof shakes Twilight lightly, when she doesn't awake it shakes her much harder making twilight shoot up panting in cold sweat.
"Twilight Sparkle." the pony whispers
Twilight looks around.
"Who's there?"
Twilight focuses harder. Twilight soon realizes that the pony standing beside her was Princess Luna.
"Princess Luna what are you-" Twilight's speech is cut short by Luna's hoof.
"We need to be quiet. We are getting her out."
Twilight immediately knew who Luna meant. Twilight gets out of bed peeling the wet sheets off her body.
"Luna she was crying for help. She... She was so alone no pony to hold her or comfort her."
Luna looks down saddened.
"We both should have been there for her."
Twilight looks into Luna's eyes.
"Luna what happened? Who is that pony?"
"Her name is Starlight. Now come we don't have much time before sunrise."
Instead of answers Twilight was left with more questions, she finally decided to follow Luna after cleaning herself up. Twilight walks into her bathroom and runs cool water over a washclothe. She ran the cool washclothe across her body as she cleaned off her fur. It made her feel good and refreshed like she was ready for anything. After cleaning up she follows Luna to the room she found the pony in before. Starlight was still there floating lonely. The room was dark and had an eery feel causing a shiver to go down Twilight's spine. Luna steps in front of Twilight.
"Here is what I need you to do. I need you to pull her out when I break through the bubble shield."
Twilight nods then walks over standing next to the pony. Twilight waits as Luna takes her stance a few feet away. All of sudden there was a clop of hooves coming from the hallway. Twilight looks down it to find Celestia racing toward them.
"Luna! Twilight! Stop!"
Luna wastes no time just as Celestia reaches the room Luna's magic hits the shield this causes a violent explosion knocking all of them out. After a certain time passes Celestia opens her eyes to find Starlight standing over her.
"Mommy?"
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Why not?
She does look like/ is a recolor and she is an alicorn, which is something incredibly hard to pull off, and the readers on this site know that its generally a bad idea from experience.
These are valid points to complain about/ point out.
I'll look over the story but I personally don't care much about the first fact and the second one bothers me severely but I am able to overlook it.
3476218 At least your reasonable but I yea I am not taking crap from anypony this time.
3476244
This time?
...I looked over a blog of yours and it appears you received some OC hate and went into a full tirade about the state of this fandom. I could explain why some people may not like your character at a glance, if you wouldn't mind listening.
3476269 Everyone on my skype and facebook loves her to death but theres this one guy who followed me on from this site and proceeded to bring drama from this site onto derpiboo.ru where I have never provoked him at all. I speaking for most alicorns when I say I'm sick of being thought of just some stupid race we all deserve to be treated just like any other race. You can speak your mind since you asked nicely. I'm willing to take nice criticism just not complete hate and crud.
3476347
So is that a yes or no? I understand your problems, and I can shed some light on them if you wouldn't mind.
3476353 Yes sure since you kinda asked nicely and such go ahead.
3476367
Alright, well...
In general, it has been held for the longest time that alicorns are either a godlike, incredibly powerful, or rare beyond measure kind of species. They are all three races combined, embodying the abilities of earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. We initially started with two: Luna and Celestia. Since then the number has risen to four overall, with no mention whatsoever of any other alicorns being present anywhere.
People tend to attribute alicorns as being very important and powerful. They also have a stigma against OC alicorns because... how do I put this? Very, VERY FEW have actually been done reasonably well at all. And more often than not these alicorn OC's have color schemes that are generally bad or unappealing, looking 'edgy' or 'stupid' to some bronies.
This site, and most of this fandom have dealt with, innumerable times, alicorns that are poorly-written self-insert mary sues that are all powerful, related to the princesses in some way, or are generally just there to romance one (or several) of the mane six because of some fantasy the writer has.
OC alicorns are generally hated for these reasons, and also for the fact that they don't make sense in pretty much any setting unless handled with extreme care, and even then they will most likely receive trouble. It is much more reasonable, and in fact easier to make a 'normal' pegasus or unicorn or even earth pony OC.
This person that has been following you is expressing his hate for alicorn oc's and using you as a target.
I think that sums things up.
3476425 Yea I am trying to fix these stories all the time I even asked who ever reads this if they wanted my OC to have to wear diapers.