As a changeling, Lumi's life was simple: go to work, train a new changeling, and meet a new human to feed on. However, mysterious changelings deaths have her investigating to keep the peace between species. Set in the Gentlemanverse
Yes, I just replied to you to tell you I updated. XD Thanks for the review though. I try to keep things researched. I'm not a spy, a Marine, or even a gigolo, but hopefully, I am not writing those characters unrealistically.
I had to laugh when Silverfly waves from the rooftop, I keep thinking of the M&M's commercial (also a PSA to turn off your cell phones and not make noise) I see all the time in the Regal Theater's. For the scene in question, skip to 0m 11s.
I'm glad to see this story getting updated. Looking forward to how Lumi will react when Shaun finds out she's a changeling. Maybe the changelings as a whole will see it as an opportunity to come out in the open and start fresh with a new species. Besides, there's probably tons of humans who would jump at the chance to have their own succubus.
Speaking of Silverfly, I spotted her ten minutes after I arrived in front of the restaurant. After she had taken the bits I offered her, I told her the address and left her on her own.
Double space between "address" and "and."
Well that's out of the way. Excellent chapter! The clop vastly exceeded my expectations. The verbal sparring brought back memories of Harry x Rarity. The physical way changelings experience emotion added a lot to the narrative that a simple human on pony encounter would lack. As someone who was pretty grossed out by chapter one, this chapter brought me around on the changeling experience in a big bad way.
If I have to criticize, I have to say that the sex scene is too short. I noticed this too after I reread some of your older stories, tons of build up followed by a really really short sex scene.
Ah. Yeah, I am moving away from the ultra long sex scenes you'd find in a lot of clop. I'm, generally, a believer of more emotional connection than the mechanics of sex. Plus, the story itself wasn't made with clop in mind, like Gentlemen for Mares. It's just a coincidence that Changelings in my world feed through sex mostly.
Really love this fic, especially for how it expands on the changelings. Oh, and the smut was good too.
Got half a feeling that Shaun is going to end up going with Lumi or gets mixed up in her shenanigans abroad. But don't mind my rambling my good man, just theorizing and shit. *puffs on a pipe*
This is what I like about you. The smut is always secondary in importance to the story but first rate when it does finally show up. A shame more authors don't follow your example. Then again perhaps it's better this way; wouldn't want you getting lost in a sea of contemporaries.
I also appreciate the clop scenes being a bit varied and kept to a reasonable length, by the way. None of those 20,000 word scenes that could be mistaken for a rough draft of one's college thesis yet which never move beyond a lot of grunting and repeated descriptions of the missionary position.
“Well, that explains a few things,” Shaun replied. He began slicing his meat into bite-sized pieces. “You must live an exciting life, Lumi. You've dated a griffin, are friends a trendy restaurant owner, and date famous authors.”
You're missing "with".
I let my tail brush his inner thighs, making sure they didn’t touch his growing length.
"it"
Other than these, I found nothing of note to correct. I am intrigued and obsessed with this story, as is the norm for your narratives.
I... uhm... Wow.
I had forgotten how well you write erotica.
Also.
Hmmm...
Nice to see this update, but I do wonder. When will he find out, and when he does find out, will he still love her for who she is?
5355510
Yes, I just replied to you to tell you I updated. XD Thanks for the review though. I try to keep things researched. I'm not a spy, a Marine, or even a gigolo, but hopefully, I am not writing those characters unrealistically.
5405057
Hmmm indeed.
5405071
Who knows. Well, I know, but I ain't telling.
5405077 Of course, it's the author job to not give spoilers so easily.
5405077
A real tragedy our dear Changeling doesn't know more of humans or that would've been a red flag the size of a sail.
For the sake of preserving my innocence, I shall not read this story. I don't even know why I have mature shown. Ill go turn it off now
Good stuff.
5405079
Heh. I always thought it was more of making a good story. XD
5405299
Just a snail?
5405440
Thanks. Glad I haven't lost my touch too much.
5405481 Sail, boss.
doylesails.com/news/uploaded_images/kokomo-sailing-genoa-742746.jpg
5405481 That is also true.
I had to laugh when Silverfly waves from the rooftop, I keep thinking of the M&M's commercial (also a PSA to turn off your cell phones and not make noise) I see all the time in the Regal Theater's. For the scene in question, skip to 0m 11s.
5405483
Well... that was embarrassing.
5405495
You know, I think Writers do everything.
... I should be worshiped.
5405535
That is funny!
Also a coincidence. :P
5405839 Correction, only one that deserve to be worship is lauren faust.
Hnnnnnng thanks for this amazing Christmas present!
5405375
You're only delaying the inevitable
5406566 ...
...
...
...
Goddamnit, fine, I'll read it. RIP innocence
I had forgotten how good you are.
I'm glad to see this story getting updated. Looking forward to how Lumi will react when Shaun finds out she's a changeling. Maybe the changelings as a whole will see it as an opportunity to come out in the open and start fresh with a new species. Besides, there's probably tons of humans who would jump at the chance to have their own succubus.
This was a nice chapter. Can't wait for the next one.
Damn, I'm glad I didn't miss this chapter. Its always fun to get to a chapter like this after such a long build-up.
Had to...I'm sorry
Double space between "address" and "and."
Well that's out of the way. Excellent chapter! The clop vastly exceeded my expectations. The verbal sparring brought back memories of Harry x Rarity. The physical way changelings experience emotion added a lot to the narrative that a simple human on pony encounter would lack. As someone who was pretty grossed out by chapter one, this chapter brought me around on the changeling experience in a big bad way.
New favorite chapter hands down. Take a bow!
media2.giphy.com/media/b9aScKLxdv0Y0/giphy.gif
Edit:
Ahhhhhhhhhhm! Hooked on a Feeling! Ooh!
If I have to criticize, I have to say that the sex scene is too short. I noticed this too after I reread some of your older stories, tons of build up followed by a really really short sex scene.
5406580 Innocence is VASTLY overrated.
5405848
Well, she is one hot woman.
Yes. I am a little shallow. XD
5406251
I'm actually glad I was able to catch up to the holidays. With the way it was going, I thought it was going to appear next year.
5406623
Heh, at what? Clop, writing in general, looks, charisma? Please, sing more praises, oh yes.
5406700
I think a lot of men would love to have someone who can change appearances at will. XD Succubus/Changeling or not.
5406705 5406735
It was touch and go at times. Glad you guys are enjoying it.
5407888
5408223
Glad you enjoyed it better then.
5408277
Ah. Yeah, I am moving away from the ultra long sex scenes you'd find in a lot of clop. I'm, generally, a believer of more emotional connection than the mechanics of sex. Plus, the story itself wasn't made with clop in mind, like Gentlemen for Mares. It's just a coincidence that Changelings in my world feed through sex mostly.
Yup. Just a coincidence.
5409275
*in my Jim Raynor voice* Just like riding a bike.
Really love this fic, especially for how it expands on the changelings. Oh, and the smut was good too.
Got half a feeling that Shaun is going to end up going with Lumi or gets mixed up in her shenanigans abroad. But don't mind my rambling my good man, just theorizing and shit. *puffs on a pipe*
This is what I like about you. The smut is always secondary in importance to the story but first rate when it does finally show up. A shame more authors don't follow your example. Then again perhaps it's better this way; wouldn't want you getting lost in a sea of contemporaries.
I also appreciate the clop scenes being a bit varied and kept to a reasonable length, by the way. None of those 20,000 word scenes that could be mistaken for a rough draft of one's college thesis yet which never move beyond a lot of grunting and repeated descriptions of the missionary position.
Now I'm starting to worry for Silverfly's safety.
dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/37540750/_ponies/like%20this%20chapter.jpg
5410581
I'm happy with speculation. I think it's somewhat boring when the story just serves everything straight up in a neat bow and platter.
For your pipe, I shall smoke my Plume Veil clone.
*takes too deep inhale and coughs up a stupid storm*
5415701
Lumi the Harsh Task Mistress.
5438882
fc04.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/022/4/f/brony_documentary_review_by_cudpug-d5se2ie.png
Good. I can't wait for the real relationship to start forming. I love romance.
5409585
uh huh, coincidence *wink*
5405057
Seconded
I figured it out now!
I figured out who's murdering the changelings!
It's... Shining Armor!
oh why this can't go on ?
and why does it feel like a very good caricature of all these summer love novels ? ^_~
Is there a chance that you'll ever continue this?
6235754
Soon. Still trying to find time.
6240928 From that, I take it you are going to update this, then update feathered heart?
6276809
Yeah. I'm still writing the chapter, but it's slow as hell. I do have the material, so hopefully, I'll just get more time to write.
6282307 Just good to hear it's being written at all.
I was preparing to read through the night, but I'm already at the last chapter? Oh, so sad. Please continue as soon as you are able to.
6282307 Aaaaaaand the related story system strikes again.
I take it times still at a premium?
I forgot this story existed. It's been so long I forgot one of my favorite stories existed until I went through my favorites folder.
6549823
A little, but I'm getting there. *sees 6552218 and 6389726*
Actually, you know what, fuck it. Give me thirty minutes.
You're missing "with".
"it"
Other than these, I found nothing of note to correct. I am intrigued and obsessed with this story, as is the norm for your narratives.