- Member Since 7th Oct, 2011
- offline last seen Dec 28th, 2011
CircusHorse
I love Sprite and diet coke.
CircusHorse
Joined 7th Oct, 2011 ·
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Awkward word choice and sentence structure. Poor descriptive voice.
Take this one back and throw it into the edit machine. I like the basic idea, I really do, but you need to work on it a lot to make it readable.
10198
I disagree. I think his choice of words was far superior to what you would normally see in this sort of fic, and although there are a few errors here and there, t'wasn't anything that made much of a difference. It could use a TINY bit of editing for grammatical changes, but don't change anything too drastic, this story is literally PERFECT the way it is.
Anyway, thank you to the author for writing this; you have no idea how refreshing it was to read an AJ clopfic that DOESN'T involve Rainbow Dash (for the most part. I also like how you made Dash straight in this as well, contrary to popular belief). Anywho, great story, and I love the concept of Applejack and Soarin'. HIGHLY original, and I do hope you write more of this sort of thing. Believe me when I say you have a talent for it.
Change the title. The typo makes it look like a trollfic
Change the title. The typo makes it look like a trollfic
This is my first fanfic I have ever written, so I know there are some errors and poor sentence structure as Wirepony pointed out. I posted it like this first to see peoples reactions, whether it was good material or not. And I am quite surprised that it is taken as a rather decent or even good fanfic despite my horrid writing. For that, I am grateful. I'll fix and spiff it up some more while I write the sequel, my only regret was posting it too soon.
besides a few grammatical errors here and there, this is a really well made fic. Especially for your first one ever written. I look forward to continue reading your work.
not_bad.PNG
though it does need better grammar,spelling,and sentence structure.but those things really don't matter to me as long as i can clop to it.
not bad.
And thus did AJ break Soarin's heart.
hey what happend next?
This is interesting. I like it but the way you discribe AJ is off she would never go for a place with ponys that don't respect the law. Other than that well done.
I would first like to say thank you for showing AJ some love (lol double meaning), and for ApplejackXSoarin I love that couple.
Very sexy story you have here, I sure hope there will be a sequel one day.
10611 In short: decent fic, and you write well. Some striking grammatical errors, though. Also, I applaud you for the ending, totally wasn't expecting that...
I would like to see more, so keep it up!
I like this!
this is a great start i hope you make more for this fanfic
it dose not feel complete anyway i liked it
Make a sequel!
I have read many Clop/Fanfics, and i must say for your first Fanfic is that really
great!
I think you will make more better Stories, followet ;)
I hope it come a sequel
11147
Ok, I read this fic and Followed this author years ago, so why wasn't it added to my Fav list?
10611 so a question? why didn't you write a second chapter to this? Or save as completed. it's been like three years since you wrote this. it's like you disappeared.
*Four years later*
That incomplete tag tho
Where's the story description?
6724005
6723794 Well the artist is gone for years so...
6724351
6723794
3.bp.blogspot.com/-_O2lXUyYPN4/UFgFH6OHFaI/AAAAAAAAACc/FHhn6G81sCQ/s320/4.jpg
6724164 Will the author be back?
6724772 After 206+ weeks?
6724785 Yeah. I'll wait.
Oh boy I can’t wait for the sequel