Twilight Sparkle is called upon to negotiate trade arrangements with the griffons. Of course, all her friends join her for what should be a casual pleasure cruise in the airship Canvas Streak. After all, this is her first REAL test as a princess, and why shouldn't they support her?
Late one night, though, Applejack feels restless and goes up on deck to watch the stars. She considers her life. She considers her family. She considers her friends. She considers the freak storm approaching from the south.
In retrospect, it might have been better to let the crew handle that and head back below deck.
Now alone on a small island, Applejack must survive and wait for her friends to come pick her up... even though the freak storm is blocking them off. Surviving's easy. Waiting's easy too! She can do this.
....she can do this....
Image by WhiteDiamondsLtd.
I suspected Cocoa was Applejack's Wilson. Glad to see I was right.
In any case, it should be interesting to see how AJ deals with isolation. Something tells me her epiphany about Luna (which was quite clever) has some deeper significance. I look forward to more.
Me likey. Me want moar.
Why's she put off about talking to a palm tree? Bloomberg seemed nice enough.
Wow you have such a great style of writing!
Can't wait for more! ;)
Hope her friends find her soon. Welp, nothing to do except wait for another great chapter.
Yep, to both.
Talking to trees is normal for Applejack.
I like how much space you used, it clearly defined how long the awkward silence was. :)
Somepony is loseing (more of) it...
Apple Jack , you are going insane.
I haven't seen such effective use of negative space in a story since House of Leaves. Definitely looking forward to more, though hopefully with a few more words in the next chapter.
I think she'll be alright, as long as she doesn't end up like Tom Hank's character in that one movie, wish I could remember the name of it.
3084029>>3084066 I totally agree with you both. Our AJ is goin' quietly crackers.
Poor gal..........
3084802 I don't think I've ever seen this much white space, either. Makes for a dramatic effect, but, by the same token, like you said, a few (or a bit more) words would be nice.
3085303Thank you.
Ive never been a coconut tree before lol. I'm interested to see where this will go. As much as I like Applejack I wouldn't mind watching her spiral into madness.
The Loneliness has really started to set into AJ. ......Now I'm slightly getting worried for her. *looks at the tags for this story again*
....oh, Dark..........Now I'm really worried for her.
Ponies are herd creatures. They don't deal well with isolation. Their minds aren't made for it. So, to paraphrase Twilight, if they can't find a friend, they have to make a friend. Well, at least Coca gets a little extra CO2 out of the deal.
Still, I have to wonder what's taking the others so long. I guess it's just a matter of little ponies, big ocean...
3088491
This does not bode well for her. Forget Castaway. She could end up all stumpy, muttering "lady fingers they taste just like lady fingers".
(You know you are in a bad way when Stephen King says "As far as short stories are concerned, I like the grisly ones the best... [But this] goes a little bit too far, even for me.")
Did Applejack explore the entire island to ensure there was not a resort or airship base, or port on the other side?
So much white space yet so good storywise.
Okay, this is a fairly good fic, and this was a good chapter, but..............
.
Can we say "excessive white-space much"?
Seriously, I know that you're probably trying for suspense with your chapter, but having to scroll down through some much space is starting to get majorly aggravating, and is rapidly starting to make me lose interest in it. And having so few words per chapter without further explanations/development is rapidly making me lose interest in this story.
Which is a shame, since it is a good premise for a story, and I love AJ in these situations, but, even as much as I do love her, all that space between paragraphs and sentences is getting frustrating to the point of bordering on annoying.
So, if I might make a suggestion? The storyline itself is fine; just cut down on using so much white-space in between paragraphs. Not so much that it takes away from what you're trying to convey, but enough that your readers won't have to scroll down for an indeterminate amount of time to get to the first sentence/paragraph of each new chapter. Like I said, it's annoying, not suspenseful.
3093619
Actually I was going for tedious.
3093643 Ah. I see.
Well, not to be snippy or anything, but I think it's working.
Space...the final frontier......OH NO! wait sorry wrong thing here.
"Where did that floating metal eye ball thing come from?"
"......SPAAAAAAAAAAACE SPACESPACESPACESPACE..SPAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCE"
Ok, now that that's out of the way, I did like the fact that you put the Doctor and Derpy/Ditzy in here. I didn't expect them to make an appearance.
Shame that AJ didn't get there quick enough then she could have gotten home. Ooohh Irony, me hate you sometimes.
Oh. That actually explains a lot. And there was some bestpony, so I'm happy.
Love it. The feel is very Applejack, very... I don't know. I want to say that it feels warm somehow, comforting. Whatever, it's really good.
Personally, I don't think that Applejack is going nuts. This isn't even the level of crazy she shows towards Bloomberg.
Edit: Yet, I don't think that Applejack is going crazy yet.
The words I said when I realized what that sound was are not repeatable in polite company. You know that you're getting into a story when you get those levels of emotion going on behalf of a character you like when they are getting screwed over.
Then go try to get off before you go mad. Problem solved.
Oh AJ, you so silly. You're perf the way you are.
RR: "Never left unsatisfied? .....Are you trying to say something here AJ?"
AJ: ".....N-nnope"
Dafu?
3106506 Took the words right out of my mouth......
3106506
3106706
Sounds like a coconut crab.
farm6.staticflickr.com/5450/9594457091_5c3bfa3452_z_d.jpg
Good thing Rarity was not there to bash the poor thing to pieces...
So... What was it?
So... How long has Aj stayed on the island? Why not go exploring?
3106927 ...okay...that thing is creepy.
3107187
I believe 3106927 answered that question.
How Do you plant coconuts? (no seriusly, does anyone know?)
3110084 my guess is just shove the damn coconut deep in the ground, wait for about a decade and bam. palm tree and more of them nuts
3110084 3111018
Guys, you're on the Internet. You can look it up. I Googled "plant coconuts" and got two video demonstrations on YouTube.
Hmm? Oh! Right. The story.
...it's eighty-seven words. One thing happened. What do you want from me?
EDIT: Thanks, Bandana.
3112318 mine says its 87 words, so I guess I want you to recount it, just to be certain?
3112318 I was on my Kobo Reader at the time. Typing stuff in it is a PAAAAAIN.
3115807. And use the leaves to fan smoke up into the air as a signal.
Don't give up yet Applejack, you'll make it. ...'I hope.'
I love that idea for Mac's cutie mark. Especially since it basically makes him King Solomon.
And now I want to see Big Macintosh sealing genies in bottles...
How did it only JUST NOW occur to her to make a signal?
Ouch, burn wounds...those can be quite nasty. Hope she can find some medical plants or herbs, something like that
......AND NO I DON'T MEAN THE MEDICINAL USE ONES EITHER!!! *crowd turns away*
Well, if I had to guess, you're instinctively tapping into the earth pony capacity for narrative meta-awareness, figuring that your friends are more likely to find you during a compromising moment.
That, or you're going insane. Or both. Really, going by Pinkie Pie, one leads into the other, though which to which, I can't say for certain.
lol appuljeck idd secksy
Don't worry Applejack, I think you're perty.
When your friends rescue you, you can brag about it.
Sooooo, she does worry about that every now and then
At least she's managing....for now.