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Featured In2

More Stories10

  • E Purity

    Change is never easy. Even more when some ponies want you dead.
    36,994 words · 4,872 views  ·  621  ·  13
  • E Never Judge A Book By Its Cover

    A filly Earth Pony has a cutie mark related to magic. Is pony society ready for her?
    10,642 words · 4,357 views  ·  610  ·  17
  • E QQ More

    What you think is evil, may not always be. A different point of view can make all the difference.
    2,977 words · 2,094 views  ·  120  ·  3
  • E Of Apples and Diamonds

    Rarity was saved by a knight, the one she deserved, not the one she wished for.
    9,731 words · 2,533 views  ·  157  ·  6
  • E No Pinkie

    Twilight chose the sad Pinkie for a reason
    1,178 words · 978 views  ·  31  ·  0
  • E Timeline

    The Elements back in the Tree, Celestia needs to have a little talk with Discord.
    2,158 words · 499 views  ·  41  ·  1
  • E Luna Discovers Italian Food

    The crust have been doubled!
    2,812 words · 1,424 views  ·  79  ·  5
  • E Resignation

    Why one would give up so much
    1,060 words · 493 views  ·  32  ·  1

Blog Posts34

  • 52w, 3d
    4 and 50th

    I just came out of a viewing, in a movie theater, of the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who. Which makes for quite the weekend with the premier of Season 4.

    Just to put thing in context, I've often been told that I critic thing too much. However, it's who I am; I'm harsh. However, I'm even harsher against myself, if it means anything. I don't critic to put something down, I do it because I want it to be better. I also never critic anything unless I got ideas on how to improve it. It's part of my professional job; I fix problem, and where there is no known problem, I discover some nobody thought existed and fix them. I just have to improve the way I bring those critics. :)

    Also, I would like to express an opinion I have; writing and story-telling skills are totally different, but are related to each other when building a story. A good writer may be a terrible story-teller and vise versa.

    Writing is the ability to build coherent sentences and use proper words. Bad writing skill - like mine - will give imprecise ideas, and will make the reader wonder what the author really meant. It may even convey the totally wrong concept; the author think something and every reader understand something else.

    Story-telling is the ability to build characters, world and events that are interesting and compelling. A bad story-teller will have plot holes, deus ex machina and all kind of errors or incoherency in his story flow. His characters won't be interesting, be impossible to relate to, and will take action that doesn't make sense. Lot of questions would be left unanswered because the author simply doesn't know himself. Most importantly, a good teller will be consistent in his world building and will plan ahead everything.

    About the Doctor Who 50th special, it's the first time in a really long time that I came out from watching a movie or a TV show without having anything in mind about what I would remove, add or change to improve it.

    About the Season 4 premiere... I believe MLP's writers are may be great writers... but horrible story-teller. The list of thing I would have modified in the premier is long! The same way writing and story-telling, for me, is two different thing, this episode was, again for me, good, but the story was bad. I'm not a good writer, I know that much, but is it such really egoistical to think I could do a better world-building job than them? I know very well I would be terrible at making slice-of-life episodes. I know myself enough for that. However, their world-building is lacking the coherence, flow and answers that I enjoy in universe like Doctor Who.

    And that's the whole issue here. It feels like the MLP writers want to push the series to the next step - and that very commendable - and make something bigger, but it also feels like they don't have the structure or the experience at making that kind of stories. Do they have a bible that answers question like;

    - Who wrote the 1000 years prophecy?

    - Why Celestia believed so much in Twilight in Season 1? Blind faith doesn't suit such an experienced ruler.

    - How did she know Twilight would make five friends with exactly the proper attributes to active the Elements?

    - Why Celestia left the Elements in the old castle when she built new Canterlot?

    - Why Celestia/Luna didn't bring the Elements back to the tree after sealing Discord?

    - Why Celestia was unable to "cleanse" Luna like the Mane 6 did?

    - Why Princess Cadance foalsit a common unicorn with no cutie mark?

    - If Celestia was able to use the Elements alone, why they needed to be six ponies in the present?

    - Was the changelings really that dumb? How could they feed love off frightened ponies?

    ...

    and many more questions. If they cannot answer them right now, for me, it's a huge flaw in their story coherence. I never start writing a story without knowing everything about it, otherwise it becomes very hard later to fix the holes left behind.

    If I didn't like my job so much, I would maybe try to find how to become a professional story writer for TV shows or movies. I would probably fail, mind you... heh.

    8 comments · 107 views
  • 53w, 6d
    Correction of previous stories...

    Nobody will probably noticed it, but the first chapter of Never Judge A Book By Its Cover passed from 1400 words to over 2000. On top, it should now be relatively error free.

    Huge thanks to Web of Hope, Shutaro and Dusk Watch for doing a blitz of correction in that old story.

    3 comments · 84 views
  • 58w, 4d
    Purity's sequel

    I don't think there's any good way to tell people who favorite a story that a sequel have been released.

    Would be nice to have a way to link stories, chain them if you will. I almost missed sequel to story I favorited, and I'm sure I probably missed some too!

    Anyway, here's the story following Purity; Fighting Destiny.

    1 comments · 98 views
  • 59w, 16h
    Fighting Destiny's cover

    1 comments · 89 views
  • 59w, 3d
    Hasbrony, Mother of all Drama!

    6 comments · 105 views
  • ...
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Source

This story is a sequel to Purity

The death of the four Princesses; Celestia, Luna, Cadance and Twilight was all planned out, poisoned by those who fear their power. One earth pony decided to have none of it, defied time and destiny themselves to rewrite history. Given that unique chance, can Twilight and Azure change how events once played out?

Editing and pre-reading by: Web of Hope, shutaro and Dusk Watch

Cover by: Raikoh Illust

First Published
13th Oct 2013
Last Modified
2nd Nov 2013

Hopefully, now with the help of Shutaro and Dusk Watch, using the multi-player option of GoogleDoc, this story should be error-free, or almost. It's without any doubt the story that I - we - took the most time to polish things out.

We are in the process of correcting the two previous stories. However, as of now, Never Judge is still in a terrible state, while Purity is in a fairly good shape. If you just got on this series of stories, crank your grammar patience to eleven if you go read Never Judge.

I think Raikoh did a terrific job for the cover art. From what I understand, it was his first time designing something from scratch too.

Meanwhile, I got a new job, which slowed me down a bit in the writing process.

#2 · 58w, 4d ago · 1 · · Hello Twilight ·

Today, I finally got around to reading Never Judge, liked it, and started following you. A matter of minutes later, a notification popped up telling me you published this story. So then I decided I needed to read Purity and this story right away. Which I did.

And that is why I have yet to get anything done today.

At least I got to read some good stories. Keep up the great work!

>>3344548 "And that is why I have yet to get anything done today."

My goal right there; to bring procrastination to my unsuspecting victims! :trollestia:

Happy you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

>>3344565

You are awful, but effective.

Totally worth it though.

Dayum purple caused this.

Regardless I thought it was a bit awkward how you instantly brought the readers to the time travel. It was weird but easily understandable.

>>3347515 I think adding anything before would only drag it for no reason, at least I couldn't find anything interesting enough to bridge it to that point. In the previous story, there's quite some talk - on purpose - about time travel. Showing Twilight organizing her library wouldn't have been very interesting. I could have shown the "travel" - as I do when she goes back to her own time -, but showing the return does have a reason.

>>3348642

That's true sorry bout than I'm just used to a bit of backstory in the beginning.

>>3349125 I know it's a rather abrupt way to start a story.

>>3349419

Disregarding that your stories are quite unique in a good way and so far enjoyable. I Have been looking for stories that have that certain spark. Sadly most stories are currently in work so it's an endless struggle to find more pieces of great work such as yours and waiting for updates.

#10 · 57w, 6d ago · · · Your Fault ·

The craziness doesn't stop there, we have a third editor/pre-reader joining-in in a few chapters. Insanity I say! :pinkiecrazy:

(but required to keep my horrible English in check :trollestia: )

Chapters for this story might slow down a tiny bit, as we will do a blitz of correction over Never Judge. It's only 10k words, so it shouldn't be too long.

#11 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

Things just keep getting more and more interesting here. It's quite the puzzle that Twilight and co. will have to piece together.

Zecora had better not end up being the villain in all of this.

#12 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

Dem zebras. So I'm guessing Zecora was the one who led them and have out secrets or something. Great chapter though I wish they were a bit longer.

#13 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3369154 "Zecora had better not end up being the villain in all of this."

My goal is for you to say in a few chapters; "Damn! Why didn't I think of that before?" :trollestia:

#14 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3369937 Some will definitely be much longer. I break down chapters by logical events, so some may be very short while some much longer. I'm not a fan of adding word for the sake of filling spaces. Could have a very long debate about "Show, don't tell". :twilightangry2:

#15 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3370194

So twists? I like twists. :twistnerd:

I can think of several possible stories for Zecora that place her as a protagonist, or at least not evil. And I'm hoping that something along those lines is the case. But right now the chances are just as good that she is a villain.

We'll just have to wait and see.

#16 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3370209

True enough the small chapters I find are nice and get to the point without losing some necessary details. My writing style was sort of like yours when I had to do writing. I still enjoy it but since my life has been consumed by the website I try and find the longest stories to keep me occupied while having stories like yours as a main preference. Less words= Possibly more updates :)

#17 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3370229 Several? Why don't you PM me those ideas? Could tell me if I'm not driving directly into a pit of obviousness...

#18 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

So, how does everyone feel about inevitability? :pinkiehappy:

That is the real question isn't it.

#20 · 57w, 5d ago · · · Your Fault ·

>>3371872 Sure sounds good to me. Everypony is invited!

#21 · 55w, 5d ago · 3 · · The Messenger ·

Sorry for the short chapter, but it said what it had to say.

Next chapter is much longer. :trollestia:

Shit's gonna hit the fan. These chapters are getting me psyched for the next part!

I can think of but two things, gotta go fast, and Guile's theme. Seriously, like on loop until Twilight gets to Canterlot or whatever she does to warn the princesses.

BRING IT ON TIME, LETS GO!

>>3541871 TIME TO FIGHT TIME WITH THE POWER OF TIME!

will you continiue the storry?

:twilightsmile:

>>4162037 I really don't know.

I hope you continue the story I like were this is going. Thanks for the good read:twilightsmile:

Read the two sequels now too. Gotta say I really hope for you to continue this wonderful story.

Great start on this second sequel. Keep it up and going. :pinkiehappy:

Dragon:moustache:

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