A peaceful party with friends was always nice. But waking up to bubbles on your thigh and an angry call from the neighbor wasn't. Not only that, through out the day, my hair was changing too. Not only me, but my friend and neighbor were getting strange changes too. I was already teased enough in school for being clumsy. But now that I had pony ears and a tail, what was going to happen now?
(Five Score, Divided by Four side story)
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Wow, a Diamond Tiara story, along with derpy and Vinyl Scratch!
My story, On Our Own, has my unicorn filly, Little Horn, who was a constant target at school for being a blank flank by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. She ended up joining the Cutie Mark Crusaders prior to discord showing up.
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I thought I'd try writing the bully character. I felt like I'd be good at writing it.
And be sure to check out Five Score, Divided by Four which is the story that this story is based off of.
3008170 I was wondering what would happen if Little Horn met up with diamond tiara in her story, On Our Own. She's going to pick up dinner for the crusaders and her cousin.
This feels rather rushed, like you're trying to get the transformation out of the way. There's little character building or much else beyond the bare necessities. All you're missing is an "All right, you all know how this goes: butt tattoo, hair, ears, hooves, wake up, am horse."
)
(Of course, this is coming from someone who's written five chapters of a Five Score story and only now is the character experiencing hair growth...
In any case, I think this makes... three 5S/4 stories involving Derpy? Possibly four? I'm not complaining; more of best pony is always a good thing. It's just a bit odd.
I'll watch this for now, but try to pace the story out a bit more.
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I'm not very good at dragging things out. I'll try my best to do just that. I'm glad you like my other story though.
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I hate dragging things out, too, but maybe you'll rather skip over unimportant parts of the day instead of speeding up the transformation. The hair change usually only starts towards the end of the second day, especially since your characters have been hexed later than the Mane Six and some characters from other side stories.
Also, Meredith is really bad at insults, which kinda makes sense. I hope you keep that.
The transformation doesn't happen this fast, it takes about two days for the hair to fully change, about 24 hours for the cutie mark to sharpen and become vivid, and something like three to four days for the ears. This is awesome otherwise and I'd love to see more. Have three Derpys and a Sweetie Belle.
3011807 I remember the complete transformation to be done within two-three days. It is a bit rushed, I tend to do that (or write really short chapters, take a look at my other story lol) I'll be better with that next chapter. ;)
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I thought I'd let you know that I edited the chapter, after some of you sad that it was really rushed.
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Aww, don't worry. For a first chapter it could have been way worse.
Still, the rewrite was probably a good thing; for your future chapters, too.
3008873 What about Diamond Tiara's buddy, Silver Spoon?
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Hmm...I dunno. You'll just have to find out, see if she even comes up at all.
3028657 I am working on rewriting A Gentle Breeze of Change, and introducing Summer Breeze and her three seasonal-themed Pegasi sisters.
On Our Own has an adorable unicorn filly, Little Horn, who is best friends with the Cutie mark crusaders and was often teased by Diamond Tiara and Silver spoon for being a blank flank.
Awe, when's the next chapters coming out?
“Oh, it’s you.” Meredith growled, crossing her arms.
I could only read that in a GLaDOS voice
Good work so far
loving it! and how come they didn't notice him calling Janet Derpy?
YOSH 20% cooler is best song
3485123 You would love it as Mike is turning into you!
Shame on you, not including Gravity Falls.
I love them all, but if I had to order them, I'd say: Gravity Falls, MLP, Adventure Time, Zim
3161609 http://theportalwiki.com/wiki/GLaDOS_voice_lines#GLaDOS_Reawakening
5580078 I had not seen or even heard of Gravity Falls when I wrote this actually. Now, after watching it, I highly regret mentioning it.
Well, i dunno, my eyes change colour with everything i wear.
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Are you going to continue this?