• Published 5th Aug 2013
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The Legend of the Titans - Silent Bob



In the depths of the Everfree Forest, an artifact older than life itself activates, bringing forth five, resting heroes of old. Though they don't remember much, they still remember who they are. The question is, however, are they still needed?

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Chapter V: Over the Rainbow (Part III)

Deep Within the Everfree Forest
10:00 AM

Robin winced in confusion, gazing at Fluttershy briefly, before glaring back at Wrath. How in the world did these two know each other? And why did he just call her Kindness? Was that some sort of local slang term?

"Kindness?" he said.

"Hehehe," Wrath giggled, glancing at Fluttershy. "You mean you never told him who you really are?"

"I-I didn't think I'd need to!" she squeaked. "B-But if you keep bothering us, I might have to, you big meanie!"

Wrath rolled his eyes, taking a deep breath - before glancing at Robin with a blank look. "On a level from one to ten, how bad would you rate that as an insult?"

"The truer the words, the more it hurts," Robin grunted.

"Ooooo, got ourselves a philosopher," Wrath said sarcastically. "But that's only if the receiver is bothered by the truth."

Fluttershy huffed slightly. "We both know that you don't really like hurting people-"

"Uh uh uh," Wrath grunted, holding up a paw. "I said I don't like killing people, and that's only half the story. I'd love killing people who mess around in the woods, the only thing holding me back is you and Zecora, really." He cocked his head towards Robin. "Besides, I don't want to kill him, you silly bitch, I just want to maim him a bit..."

Fluttershy whimpered at the insult.

"That's my sister for you. The cowardly lion," he sighed, glancing at Robin again. "See what I have to put up with?"

Robin gave a snarl. "I don't care what you think you have to put up with! I don't know how a nice girl like her has a douchebag for a brother like you, but it doesn't matter. Let us pass or I'll make a path!"

"Hmmm..." Wrath said, cocking his head. "Alright - I'll let you pass, but only if you answer this question for me..."

"And that is...?" Robin glared.

He grinned wickedly. "How many chomps does it take to get through a pony's neck?! HOOOOHAHAHAHA!.!.!"

With one quick motion, he surged forward like a force of nature. He lunged into the air, his fangs dripping as he aimed to take a bite out of Robin's neck.

"WAUUGH!"

However, Robin was ready for him. With a quick motion of his own, he ducked, held his staff horizontally, and when the wolf was close enough, pushed upward, sending the beast railing over his head.

THUD!

"ACK!"

The wolf landed behind him on his back, causing Fluttershy to gasp. "Stop it!"

"Oh come on, sister," Wrath grunted, quickly rolling to his feet before Robin could land a second blow. "You know that old saying, right? Let boys be boys! And this boy wants some meat!"

Again, he charged Robin, who stood in the same spot.

"Really want the stick, don't you, Fido?" he smirked.

"Pffft, nice one," Wrath grunted. "Who the hell fights with a friggin staff, anyway?! Are you like - a disgruntled pole vaulting champion or something?!"

WHOOSH-CLACK! WHOOSH-CLACK!

He sent two paws forward, striking at Robin's chest, though the Boy Wonder blocked them with relative ease. The two then began to circle each other.

"And what's with the tights?" Wrath giggled. "Who are you, really? Wait - I got it this time! A runaway ninja circus acrobat!" He tilted his head. "Or... maybe you're just gay. That's probably it."

Robin raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? How old are you?"

"That's not very polite to ask," he chuckled. "But, mind if I ask something? So I hear you're trying to head back to the artifact... you do realize there's no way you can enter again, right? Not unless the artifact really wants you... Sorry, but you ain't getting home, kid."

"Hush, Wrath! You don't know that!" Fluttershy called.

"A few have actually tried before: did she tell you that?" Wrath grinned. "Yet the artifact just rejected them. Doesn't like second dates, it seems. Boy can I relate..."

"Uh huh. Nice use of psychological tactics," Robin sighed. "But I've seen this-"

Wrath broke into laughter. "Psychological tactics? Wah?! Do I look like Sealman Fraud to you?! I'm just a dick! And as you said before, the best way to make someone rage is to tell them the truth!"

"I don't care," Robin grunted. "I have to try."

"Then you're going to have to try to beat me," Wrath smirked. "Don't just sit there waiting for me. Come at me, you tight wearing fairy!"

...

Wrath moved his paw in a 'come forth' motion.

Robin's mask narrowed.

...

FLICK!

Robin snatched a bird-a-rang out of his belt and flicked it open.

"Huh," Wrath said. "What's that?"

"Let's just say," Robin smiled. "Sometimes the best defense is the best offense."

SWOOOOSH!

He flung the bird-a-rang. Wrath's eyes widened -

SHUCK!

Only for it to strike the dirt at his paws, blinking red...

He quickly gave Robin a blank look. "Seriously? I mean, I gotta say - you're alright with the staff, but your aim sucks more than a leech on-"

Robin merely smirked, giving him a wave.

BEEP-BEEP=BEEP...

Wrath still seemed confused. "W-What? What are you waving at?! And - why is that thing-"

BOOOOOOOOOOM!.!.!

"BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK!.!.!"

As Fluttershy shrieked, the bird-a-rang detonated in a blinding, fiery flash. Wrath sailed backwards, snarling, before-

CRACK!

- Plowing into a nearby tree, actually shaking it on impact.

"Heh," Robin said, glancing towards an awe-struck Fluttershy. "Didn't think he'd know about explosives. Don't worry though- he'll be alright. It was only a-"

There was a dark, evil growl...

"Small one?" he gulped.

Wrath, now battle-scarred and smoldering, marched towards Robin, a hideous look in his eyes.

"Yeah, about that no-kill rule," he said in a manic tone. "Well guess what? I'm still not breaking it. I'm not going to kill you, I'm just going to claw half your brains out. Claw them RIGHT THE BUCK OUT! How does that sound, sweetie?!"

Robin slowly nodded. "Painful."

"Thata fairy," he glared.

Robin glared at him. "Sorry, but you don't seem like the type who likes to pick brains."

Wrath slowly shook his head... partially in horror. "You know - before, partially murdering you was just business. Yet now... it's a favor to Equestria." He then cracked his neck. "Ready for the final countdown... uh - what's your name again?"

Robin cracked his neck as well.

"Call me Robin."

Wrath just stared at him, taking in his words.

...

...

...

"Bleh. Gay."

And in silence, the two flung themselves at each other, piercing yellow eyes meeting a featureless mask...

That was, until an unnaturally yell came from Fluttershy of all ponies.

"STOOOOP!.!.!"

And before the two could get even close, they found themselves being hog-tied by a number of thick, green vines.

"WOAH!"

"Oh, what the buck!"

Robin shook his head, struggling against his green trappers. "How the heck did Poison Ivy get-"

His mask widened.

"H-Here?"

Standing where Fluttershy formally was was the same yellow pony... though one who looked curiously like a version of Robin's old nemesis. Her form was wrapped in vines, and her eyes were now two faint pools of blue.

"Oh, son of a bitch," Wrath groaned. "Kindness, why do you ruin everything?"

"W-Who are you?" Robin said, shaking his head in disbelief as he ceased struggling against the vines.

"Spoiler alert," Wrath muttered. "As she said, she's Kindness: a literal manifestation of this forest's... well... kindness, or at least the latest incarnation of her... who sucks. The last one was twenty percent cooler." He then grinned. "But wanna take three guesses as to what I am?"

Robin rolled his eyes.

"I-I'm sorry that I didn't tell you earlier," Fluttershy whispered shamefully. "This is my best kept secret."

Robin took a deep breath, before smiling slightly. "I guess we're even, then, huh?"

She blinked in surprise. "You mean you're not um - weirded out by me?"

Robin laughed heartily. "Fluttershy - I work with an alien from a planet half-way across my galaxy!"

"What the buck is a galaxy?" Wrath groaned. "I hate these assholes who come from the artifact... they always speak gibberish." He then grunted. "Speaking of which, mind letting me go so I can go nibble on his throat? And by that I mean I'm going to tear it open. And by that I mean I'm going to-"

"Not unless you swear to me you're not going to start fighting again," Fluttershy said firmly. She then looked at Robin. "You as well, Robin."

"I'll defend myself if I need to," Robin said. "But I won't go out of my way to beat the crap out of him - despite the way he's been treating his own 'sister.'"

Wrath rolled his eyes. "Fine, I won't - Just let me get as far away from moral orel here as possible."

"How do I know you aren't lying?" Fluttershy growled. "We both know you have temper problems."

"Well, no shit. Not like my name is Wrath, you know," he sighed, before glancing at Robin. "And you wonder why I get pissed off at her."

"I'm really starting to hate you," Robin muttered.

Wrath smirked. "We both know hate is just the more fun form of love."

"Really hate you."

"Wrath, please answer the question - um - if you don't mind," Fluttershy sighed.

"Fine," he grunted. "I won't rip his feathers out. I've been learning anger management from Slendermane, you know." He took several deep breaths, before actually smiling slightly. "There, I feel slightly less pissed than usual. Can you please let me-"

He paused.

Fluttershy paused as well.

"... Hey uh - do you sense that, too?" he asked.

The yellow pega-plant nodded. "I do too."

"Sense what?" Robin asked.

"Something is here that does not belong," Fluttershy whispered.

Robin raised an eyebrow.

"By that she means our 'some asshole's in the deep woods' senses are tingling," Wrath explained. "'Some dead asshole's in the woods' senses, I should say."

"H-How many do you sense? Can you tell that?"

"I'm not sure..." Fluttershy said, who was squinting in thought.

"Me neither," Wrath grunted. "It feels familiar, but..." His eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, son of a bitch- not again! Fluttershy - let me out god damnit! You said you would if I promised not to hurt bird-brain... well, I won't - I've got a bigger fish to fry!"

Fluttershy glanced at him warily for a second, Robin shaking his head all the way, before sighing and releasing both of them.

"Thanks, Kindness," He chuckled. "Gotta say - that took guts of you to do." He then smirked. "I'd show them to you later for that, too, if you weren't my sister. Toodles!"

He then gave a mock salute, before taking on a more serious look and ripping into the deep woods.

Fluttershy merely stood, awestruck. "H-He... he complimented me?"

Robin brushed himself off, before making his way to Fluttershy's side. "That was a compliment?!"

"I take what I can get," Fluttershy said sorrowfully. "Wrath is.. a bit on the hot side when it comes to temper."

"He just tried to kill me!" Robin cried.

Kindness shook her head, chuckling. "No, he wouldn't do that. He was just blowing hot air. He's never killed anything that I know of, and he rarely really hurts someone unless they've really made him angry."

"Huh? How?"

"Well um-" Fluttershy said, glancing away with an embaressed expression. "There was this one pony who um... urinated on his favorite tree-"

"Er - forget I asked," Robin coughed, before once again entering his usual modus operandi: serious business. "But we can't afford to talk any longer. We need to get to the artifact while Wrath's distracted. No offense, but you had the element of surprise the last time. We don't know if it'll work again or even if the two of us can take him on if he goes back on his word."

"I don't think we could," Fluttershy said, shaking her head. "He managed to take down Princess Twilight in a fight."

"Then we need to-" Robin did a double take. "Wait - what?! You're telling me she's a princess?!"

Fluttershy blinked in confusion. "Didn't I mention that?"

"... No. No you didn't."

"Oh well, sorry I didn't," Fluttershy smiled sheepishly. "But yes - she is a princess."

"Is that why she has wings and a horn?" Robin asked.

Kindness nodded. "Mhmmm. It's sort of a sign of class."

Robin shook his head in disbelief. "The more I stay here, the more questions I want answered, but you'll have to explain it to me later. How far are we from the artifact, again?"

"Close," Fluttershy said, before turning towards a particular direction. "It's near the Old Royal Palace... an ancient place..."


Deep Beneath the Everfree Forest
Fifteen Minutes Later

"In a cave in the middle of a woods that literally do not like trespassers," Robin said, raising an eyebrow. "I guess someone really wanted to hide it."

"I'm not sure if it can be moved," Fluttershy pointed out. "For all we know, it could have always been here."

"I don't know about that," Robin said. "This cave may have only been formed maybe a thousand years or so ago."

Fluttershy gazed at him curiously.

Robin furrowed his brow. "Wait - you know about plate tectonics, right?"

She scratched her head. "Um - well I know about dinner plates... does it have to do with that?"

"Not exactly," Robin chuckled. "So - you said it doesn't look like it can be moved? What exactly does it look like?"

"To me?" Fluttershy said. "Well - it sort of looked like a budding flower. Wrath and Slendermane say it looks different to everypony... though not many know about it."

"I've heard that name before," Robin mused. "Is that another um- forest manifestation?"

"Oh yes," she said, before smiling slightly. "You'd like him, though. He's not like Wrath at all. He's a bit frightening at first, but he's a big sweetie on the inside."

"Sounds like Raven," Robin mused. "Though I'm not sure about the sweetie thing..." he addided softly.

"Him and Wrath actually got in a scuffle recently..." she explained.

Robin lifted an eyebrow. "Yet he's teaching him anger management?"

"It's complicated," Fluttershy sighed. "Yet still - ever since then they've never been closer. Wrath is actually starting to get softer, believe it or not."

Robin's other eyebrow joined the first. "Sorry, Fluttershy - but I'd have to see it to believe it. Though I suppose everything is relative..." He then tapped a hoof to his chin. "But you know, I don't understand - why do you hide who you really are to the rest of the town? They seem nice enough from what I've seen."

"..."

The two paused, as Fluttershy thought for a second. She eventually gazed at him with a whimsical expression - in particular, at his mask. "I suppose for the same reason you hide your eyes: we're simply too afraid to show our true selves. Maybe because it makes us feel vulnerable? I'm not sure. Yet still - I don't want to take the risk, do you?"

"..."

Fluttershy eeped slightly. "S-Sorry - I didn't mean to sound-"

Robin stopped her with a slight smile. "No - I'm just glad someone... or somepony understands. Though... there's a bit more to it for me... maybe we can talk about it later if the door goes two-ways, huh?"

She gazed at him with a concerned look, before shuddering slightly. "About that... Robin... I really want to tell you something."

He glanced at her curiously. "Huh, what is it?"

She gazed directly at him again. "You seem like a v-very nice person, you stood up against my brother for me... yet... you seem like you're... hurting inside..."

...

Robin glanced away from her.

She continued nonetheless. "I don't want to see you to hurt any more, especially because of me. But... I need to say this: please don't hope for something that may not be. There are legends that say that this artifact... is not a portal. The Doctor tried to explain to me a theory of his one time."

"The Doctor... Doctor Who?" Robin asked.

"Nopony knows his real name," Fluttershy whispered. "He's a sort of time traveller, yet he's gone... missing lately... him and Derpy." She whimpered slightly. "A lot of ponies have gone... missing lately."

"I'm sorry to hear that," Robin said softly.

"It's n-nopony I know, though," she whispered back. "But enough about me. I really think you deserve to know this: the Doctor's theory involved something I could barely understand. The concept of universe - of reality itself collapsing... and then reforming."

Robin furrowed his brow. "Sounds like the Big Crunch Theory..."

Kindness gave him a confused look.

"Nevermind..." he said slowly, before saying something he was dreading to do so. "Go on..."

She slowly, sorrowfully nodded. "What if- what if there were no alternate universes? Just one... that keeps reshaping itself. Changing every time. Yet what if there was some sort of... way to travel from the old to the new? I barely understand it... but that's what the Doctor said the artifact may do."

"..."

His face slowly contorted into pure defeat, and even with the mask on, Fluttershy could sense that perhaps he had thought it may be hopeless as well, but just wasn't saying it outloud.

"I'm sorry..."

Robin closed his eyes. "How sure are you about this?"

She glanced away from him. "The Doctor, according to the legends about him, is rarely ever-"

"Yo, Robin! You down there?!"

"-Wrong?!"

But as soon as she spoke, a voice echoed forth something that nearly made Robin bounce in delight. His eyes widened. He twirled about in shock. The voice was coming from the outside of the cave. One of a brother he never had.

"C-Cyborg?!"

Author's Note:

Heyo: for a lil bit, expect updates every other day!