- Member Since 2nd Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Jul 23rd, 2021
Sol Daybreak
A Navy Brony for life, been around the world and still love ponies, Daybreak is my OC, I DO NOT OWN Blackgryphons OC despite him being in my art. It's merely a tribute of devotion to my idol
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I know many will judge it at first and i'll live with that :P
but for those who stick with me to the end of my life's work (lol not really) i thank thee
ahh thank you
i've been going off my own guesses this whole time
Wow that party was awful
Maybe for Rainbow and Applejack
seems Don and Twilight really enjoyed themselves
I love your awesome picture its so awesome lol
saturday and sunday 2 more chapter posts possibly
its whenever im at my house with the computer :)
"YO RARI-TEEE! SPAIKE HEE-YAH WAHNTS A DATE WICHEW!!"
inb4 boston accents (lol scout)
what of course not, thts like, totally not whats gonna happen
3031705
...
Who're you talking to?
you..or..*looks up to sky*...GOD lol jk
But spike suuuucckkkssssss.
No Rarity for him!!!
so i just figured out how to post comments the right way (dont judge me) and annyways this seems like a good place to take a three day break, while i add on to the fic privately, patience is a virtue
YEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH BBBOOOOOOYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
if you were going to put 6k words out at once the why'd you split it up? many great fanfics have long chapters. (5-10 thousand words a chapter) like the fics 'foal necromancer' and 'diaries of a madman'. the chapters dont have to be long but it doesnt make sense to split it up.
hmmm...a fair and reasonable point...i shall take tht into consideration thank you :)
obvious discord is obvious.
i wonder if discord is going to be a bro about it....
that'sa
penisgarysue.gifnaw he's not god like, he gets his @$$ handed to him a few time
plus he looks pretty normal
but to each his own opinion
no like it? no read it then :)
giant tentacle orgy super funtime or gtorf man I never read a clop/fanfic that had this in it fucking great
when in doubt suck dick
Da FUCK PINKIE that's it it's aficial if I ever go to equestria I'm staying far away from pinkie
This is good now if you excuse me I'm gonna pleasure mysel...I mean........play the gutiar yeah the gutiar
3133716 he"s not a dog. Once i get my artist to draw you will have a much better image of what he looks like
and many of his traits that dont make sense now may later
but he's more of an anthro than anything else, but hey, no ones forcing you to read it
That was fast MOAR dude this is amazing its the one clopfic where not every chapter is someone getting banged and it has a story.
its spelt "dawn". "don" is the head of a crime family or "mafia"
3136671 actually i deleted it cause its basically a waste of space that u could fit into about one sentnce but decided to take the amount of time to raise a scene, besides u dont need to justify to me why u down vote, its your vote, i dont care
if u wanna explain why, just write it out shortly, i dont really mind the criticism, i just dont want half a page to say one thing is all, calm ur jimmies
3137169 don't worry i know, i just wanted his name spelled that way in the beggining so i made the chapter title named that for the puns
a bad pun perhaps, but still a pun :P
3137197
. Can you even read, or did your finger reflexively click the 'delete comment' button? Here's a nice summary for you. Your spelling is terrible, as is your grammar. You punctuate like someone who belongs in primary school. You don't space your fic well, and leave it as a wall of text. You have multiple speakers per paragraph, in places. Your characters are poorly characterised, and vapid to boot. Your main character is an amnesiac who remembers stuff and gains powers as the plot demands. Scenes which could have been interesting are either glossed over or summarised out of existence. You timeskip two months, completely ignoring relationship building in favour of rushing to the clop. 'Don' is never actually described within three chapters. Cliches abound, and you have Twilight immediately fall in love with your OC for no apparent reason.
Because my original comment included only one issue. Of course
Not exactly one issue, is it? Also, if your jimmies were calm, you'd have left my comments up. So secure in your ability to argue a point, eh?
3137197 Here is Lord Sunder's comment:
Please re-read it. It has more than 'one thing'. A lot more.
Also? He's correct. About all of it.
denver.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw9289_small.png
this story
This is not a story, because a story would have some semblance of a plot, and not resemble that old VHS copy of that banned Swedish 1980's porno that my creepy uncle kept in that old treasure chest in the attic.
Everything about this is just so unnatural and strange on so many aspects. You go on, and on, and on about "love" when I seriously doubt you're old enough to understand the difference between lust and love. Fucking all day, every day, 24/7, and talking about how much you love fucking stuff, and telling all your friends how you like fucking stuff, and sharing with everyone on this site about your personal sexual fantasies about fucking horses as a cat/dog/ferret/furryfuck bring up more questions about your incredibly subtle brainwash/rape overtones and your inflections to play the nice guy while at the same time completely controlling a woman's life with your penis.
i dont mind constructive comments, but insults aimed at me and not just the fic are really just pointless and i would request tht u cease doing so and find somethig better to do
just insulting with no constructive criticism it really is just rude and pointless
if u tell me "hey this character blows, but here is how u can fix that"
thts great and i welcome your opinion because its you are trying to help, not just be rude, but just saying he blows is really kind of pointless don't you think?
and Lord Sunder if i offended u by deleting ur post i do apologize i did not mean to be offensive
Ok just for future reference
if you all wouldn't mind, no matter what kind of comment you are leaving, hate or complimentary
try and please constrict it to a paragraph please, i realize this isnt always easy but at least make an effort
thanks :)
3138623
If you had read my original comment, you would know I included a section where I tried to give some sort of advice to fix the problems I saw with the fic. You would also see the necessity of writing a multi-paragraph comment, as the issues are so numerous that merely to list them is a paragraph in and of itself. As I have shown you. You then delete the comment with the constructive portion, and ask me to write only one paragraph. I did. Then you whine that it's not constructive. Of course it's not. I couldn't fit that in, without you complaining that I'm using more than a paragraph, and deleting my comment without reading it.
I'll just run it all together into one big, easy to process lump in the future, ok?
you my have a point
fair enough i suppose
but my preference for short comments comes from not wanting a whole page taken up by one persons comment as i have seen alot in reading others fics
but i have already apologized for prematurly deleting ur comment
so im gonna move on now so i may resume my writing
thank you :)
3139186 The thing is, you posted this self-insert "romance" (I hesitate to call it that, because frankly, your OC behaves in really creepy ways sometimes) on a site that allows comments from the general public. You need to prepare for that and handle it gracefully.
Additionally, Lord Sunder's comment was not just 'lol u suk go die', it was a well thought out comment outlining the various problems with your fic. Just because you didn't like it, doesn't make what he said untrue. He took a good portion of time out of his day to help you by reading your fic and writing that comment--you ought to at least thank him for that.
Also, in order to reply to a person, you need to push the little button with the quote bubbles at the upper right hand corner of their comment. That way, everyone knows who you're talking to in your comments, and the person you're replying to actually gets a notification for it.
3139279 well to be honest i do appreciate the help and i knew going in that this fic would get alot of criticism
it is my first fic after all so i knew it would be far from perfect
but that is the point if this one
laying the groundwork so to speak and once it ends the second one will be started considering everyones comments and a better writing style
this is my first so im writing it as it comes from my head
but tht is why i apologized for deleting Sunders comment and hope for no hard feelings
hopefully thts the end of that issue
ill try to add another update by the end tonight
until then keep calm and brony on
3139622 The problem isn't that it's your first fic, though. I hope you address some of the very real and valid concerns raised.
Dude you keep shiting out chapters like a man after burrito night. Keep it up man.....(and I can't wait to get back to the clop.....DON'T JUDGE ME IM THAT KINDA PERSON)
3142789 i try my best
and don't fret
clop shall reappear in the near future
K...clop is like smoking once you start it's hard to stop.
Now that it's Sunday night (actually Monday morning 12:36) and the guys are COMEING over and Jordan's bringing the porn for the group masterbaition. (J.K.)
U dont have much comment so here's a comment
lol changelings.
YAY changlings
Yes 2 new chapters. Now I'm going to lock my bedroom door and wait till mid night then the clop will be put to good use
cloptastic and the fun has been DOUBLED