The hundreds of trees of Sweet Apple Acres silently hold many secrets. The deaths of Big McIntosh's parents and the origins of his cutie mark are only two. For generations the trees have kept their watch over the Apple family and the sleepy town of Ponyville. And now one secret, long thought dead, is about to return and make the ponies of Ponyville wonder what really is in: the Blood of Apples.
Sequel to Mac's Tale
Original editing by Corwin Freiss and thanks to SusieBeeca and BradtheBronyfor the help with the revisions and later chapters.
Chapters (10)
Well the prologue is definitely new, while chapter one pretty much remains what I remembered. Can't wait to see whatcha got planned for us in the future to see what else changed from the original.
Stellar Ambition is a cool ass name. Applejack is adorable. Big Mac is appropriately stoic, vulnerable, and smart. All is right with the world. Except for that bad thing, but whatever, I'm sure it will turn out fine.
6046355 Certain story elements were altered (such as Granny Smith undergoing hip surgery) to get the train of thought back on track to the original destination. Also Mac's POV's have been added/expanded in places to keep him closer to the story line.
Did Caramel gone to a better world?
6054673 Part of the mystery, the answer will be found around ch. 5-6, once I get the editing finished. This was the original first chapter cliffhanger opening, but the story started to get rather frayed after a bit. This version seems to be running a lot smoother.
AGH SO INTENSE
Dearth means lack or scarcity of something, so here Twi is being called airheaded, heh.
Nice to see the story moving at a good pace.
6073068 Yikes,
for years I've been using the term incorrectly.
Ah well, modified the phrasing slightly. Again thanks for pointing that out.
I still like to think of Twilight as a bit of an airhead socially, kind of like the character of Sheldon Cooper on 'The Big Bang Theory'. Deep academic mind, but socially rather less so.
Macintosh^^
KICK THEIR FLANK!!!
So many vocab words!
RUN MAC!!!RUN FOR YOUR FREEDOM AND
FOR YOUR LIFE!!!
Does the fact of what they did to Applebloom will be considered and the guard putting them in jail?
6184171 Heh, stress induced vocabulary distress?
.
6184628 Oh, probably. The whuppin' that Mac laid on them might also be taken in to consideration, as a factor in their punishment. On the other hoof, this isn't going to help Mac's case when the Guard arrives.
6184800 Yeah it's true but what they tried to do shouldn't be ignored.Celestia,Luna and their who are authorities must take action criminals and those are for theirs actions.And it is not a simple crime, what they seeked,and on a filly .
6184874 Oh, I'm sure the princesses won't let them off the hook. What they did, or attempted to do, to Apple Bloom was pretty
. But their fate isn't really what this tale of Apples is about. Still, I'm sure Luna won't be letting them 'forget' anytime soon, even after their punishments are served.
6184936 Thanks ,that's all that i wanted to know,that they pay for their crimes
Yes. Very intriguing. I just really hope that nothing happens to Apple Bloom because that is just sick. Seriously though, nothing better happen to her.
Egh, Ihatefoalpregnancy.6246731 Oh, nothing more than just a nasty bump on the head and a couple of bruises, not much more than what usually happens to her in her many misadventures. I think she'd be more disappointed in not getting a cutie mark for heroism actually.
Not a big fan of that myself actually.
6246933 Okay, good. Hence, my interest stays.
Things are getting interesting. Saw some typos here and there, but noting TOO bad.
Anywho, sorry it took a bit to get around to reading this new chapter. Hope to see the next one soon .
I don't like being the annoying one. But, updaaaaaaaate. /flails arms/
6938431 My apologies for the tardiness. But your wish is granted.
Now THAT'S some world building right there! I know that the Albino was Lightening Ridge for a long while now, mostly because I remember the story how it was BEFORE you re-wrote it.
And Diomedes syndrome? I remember the old Greek tale about those particular horses (and there is even a story on here about how MLP:FiM ponies are descendants of those particular horses; warning, said story has them devouring a human alive, kicking and screaming!).
And I have a sneaking suspicion that the "Nnope" there at the end was actually Big Mac finally come back to face his fear... and the Albino is gonna learn the hard way what "Rage Shift" (something Twilight's displayed a few times lol) does to a pony who can pull an entire two story house while SKIPPING when under the influence of Love Poison (Hint: Mac's gonna go the equivilant of "The Hulk" on his half-brother's ass!).
Has anyone seen clark kent and the albino in the same place at the same time before? There might be something to that.
Reminds me of a scene in Star Trek next gen.
Kudos on your prologue.
6949338
"I am Lwaxana Troi, daughter of the Fifth House, holder of the Sacred Chalice of Rixx, heir to the Holy Rings of Betazed. Who are you?"
I never thought of that. Luna and Lwaxana Troi, they would make quite the eccentric and entertaining pair.
Also, I believe the last line was Macintosh. You go, dude.
Oohh DAMN! Very very VERY intense chapter. Can't wait to see how everything goes down in the next chapter.
Also, if you want, I can go through this again for ya to correct/clean up grammar mistakes I saw here and there *mostly a few odd placements of commas, a few capitalization errors, etc*. I won't be able to fix do anything till after Sunday as I will be heading out of town late tomorrow evening, but when I get back and if you're okay with it I certainly don't mind offering my services as an editor. :D I will delete this message in the spoilers at a later time.
Man, seems like the real apple curse is getting your cutie mark when a relative dies.
"Why throw away your life so recklessly?"
"That is a question you should ask yourself, Megatron."
(Yeah, I see what you did thar =P)
7499193 Hasbro's other flagship line of course. I made another TF reference to Mac in a different piece (An Apple Studded Diamond), "There is more to him than meets the eye." that actually is meant to refer to this indecent.
Enjoyable tale, filled with drama and suspense (and expands upon your "Apple Studded Diamond" tale too). So till later, thanks for the story and good luck with whatever you're planning for next!
At first, I thought caramel had been in a coma for months, it had been so long!
For such a tragic story, closure and hope are all that an epilogue can really provide, so it's nice to see that he has support, even if he is a very stubborn pony.
7740428 Stubborn? Yes, yes he is. Although I think many fans would agree that most, if not all, of the members of the Apple Family in Ponyville could give stubborness lessons to mules as a matter of point.
And thank you for noticing the hopeful note of the epilogue. Originally it was supposed to be Luna giving the 'pep talk' of sorts based on her regrets but the events of Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep showed that Luna had yet to forgive herself for 'The Nightmare' and so wouldn't be an effective and sincere voice for the scene, even if the dialogue would be. So I used Celli, and it actually worked better as a metaphor for Mac's own 'dawn' after the darkness.
Good intro to both the main character and coming conflict. This looks to be intense.
.....................so this is what it's going to be. A traditional slasher-horror story. Only with characters I actually care about................Jeez, that was extremely brutal and hard to read..............
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Well great, the law is after Big Mac now.
I am heavily surprised that Caramel is still alive? I question how though.
Oy
Things got downhill the moment Applebloom showed up. At least no one died.
Too many unanswered questions and surface contradictory information that I'm having a hard time connecting the dots to. The mystery keeps getting more and more..........mysterious.
So.........many questions I had from the previous chapter have been answered, and I am SOOOOOOO glad that this was not one of those Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde stories. I really don't like those.
And I have to say, , the antagonist is pretty intimidating and, somewhat has a point. The only reason I'm not siding with him is because of his aggressive and murderous tenancies.
The one trope I ever hate seeing in a story is what the last guard did at the end. He really deserved to die for his stupidity.
And now................the incoming climax.
8002694 More an homage to the genera for this chapter actually.
I see your point there, but a trap is a trap, even if it's a big, white, unexpectedly fanged, stallion. The guards were sent to apprehend a rogue 'normal' Earth Pony stallion (McIntosh), not the Diomedian nightmare they found. Like sending regular cops to bring in Jason Voorhees, when they believe he's just some random vagrant.
..........................*takes off hat and puts it on chest in conflicted emotions*......................
This story and the previous one is completely underratted and should have more attention. I really enjoy this fic.
8005226 Thank you.
I’m kinda getting a Jekyll and Mr.Hyde vibe.