• Member Since 21st Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen 8 hours ago

Senyu


E
Source

I began my life traveling the world. My dream was to be an antiquarian of ancient artifacts. I saw many things, and discovered old relics. One of which, I should have never found. Since its discovery my life has changed. My mind degrades with each day and I can't tell whats real or not anymore. The only thing holding me together is a little girl I found. And now we travel the world together, one torn by war and full of terrors. With only a curse to keep us alive. My name, is Simon Petrikov.

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 13 )

Very interesting. I look forward to the next chapter.

Great story. How will this change Adventure Time history?

2913709 Not particularly trying to change the history. Just... fill in some gaps creatively :)

Interesting story :twilightsmile:
Please continue with good work :rainbowdetermined2:

Great chapter. I wonder if Twilght and other's will end up meeting the Lich.

2974469 Oh its planned at some point :raritywink:

Good chapter, glad you're still working on this story.
Some points to take into consideration.
1) You seem to be under the impression that young horses are called ponies, this is untrue. Ponies are a completely separate breed of equine from horses. Pony foals grow into ponies just as horse foals grow into horses.
2) The second point is a bit tough to explain and not correctable, more a suggestion for future chapters. The bulk of this chapter was, for all intents and purposes, filler. Entertaining filler, but filler none the less. Normally, this is not a big deal, as it was extra detail which is usually a good thing, but when your taking a month+ between chapters it should be avoided. After so long a wait, readers are going to want to see story progression, dialogue, and the relationships between characters built upon, not Rainbow Dash gallivanting through the wreckage of the world for 7000 words. Really, you had 2-3 vaguely important things happen in this chapter, the first being covered in the very beginning with Spikes disappearance from the group and the groups memories, which wasn't even touched upon in the chapter. The next could be Dash being sent into the city, and last is the allusion to the probable villain at the very end.
Not much at all.
Also a small prediction advice, Marcy is a demon right know and has no weakness to sunlight. She became a vampire sometime after Hudson Abadeer ate her fries.
Well, regardless of the long wait and slight let down, It was still excellently written and fun to read. Keep up the good work and happy writing.:derpytongue2:

3157695 Sorry, I was away with family for three weeks and was not able to do much. And when I came back my house got broken into so some delays for that as well. Hopefully I can deliver more chapters as I am probably going to have a very difficult time doing it for 6 months starting in October but hopefully I will have internet and enough time to release periodically.

Second Point is that not everyone knows that Ponies stay Ponies, thus showing Simon's ignorance of the topic.

And third, sorry for the filler. But regarding Spike it isn't something that I plan to solve in just a couple chapters currently.

3160069 Hope that f%#&er gets caught, that kind of thing has happened to me a few times.
As for the pony/horse thing, just making sure you knew. You'd be surprised what kind of misconceptions kids today live with, I can't tell you how many times I had to explain the proper terminology for the eye to people. I must have read "hazel/brown/blue/etc pupils" a thousand times when the writer is thinking of the iris. As for the wait, as long as you actually finish the story, you can take as long as you want.

“I knew I should have worn a coat.” Rarity complained.

Your a pony, you have a coat. I take it that pun was not intended?

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