This is just great one moment I was in the lake with my friends and the next thing I know I'm tied in this chair blindfolded and with a cloth in my mouth. Then I come to realize where I am . I'm in Equestria .
Chapters (12)
Kalebdash64
Joined 20th Jul, 2013 ·
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Where to begin...
I'm almost done Chapter 2 is coming in a few hours and I know I haven't described that well but This is my first story and I'm getting better
You've made a countless number of punctuation/grammar mistakes, and some of the dialogue sounds weird, but I understand it's your first story and it looks pretty good so far.
Do I keep going or do I stop writing
3134046
Keep going!
Never stop never give up. This has AMAZING POTENTIAL
i would say dont give up but he is constantley being beatan the crap out of
Ok I'll keep going and the reason he gestó beat up so much is because the ponies don't trust him so they Freak out when he does anything chapter three coming tonight when Im suposed to be sleeping
Alright, there's more than a few problems here.
For starters: When replying to someone's comment, push the little speech bubble button in the upper right hand corner of THEIR post that you are replying to. This gives you two greater than signs followed by a string of numbers, and when posted, it notifies that person that you replied to them so they can reply to you, and so on.
Now for the actual story itself.
In terms of subject matter:
1. Extremely cliched. The title implies that there is a mystical 'seventh element' that is wielded by:
2. Your self insert OC. Self-inserts are VERY hard to do correctly, and you are not off to a good start.
3. The ponies from the show are all just puppets for you--they are not behaving even slightly in character (Applejack is not that violent to obviously sapient creatures, nor is she prone to falling all over herself at a compliment. Rarity wouldn't ask where his clothes are, because they don't generally wear clothes aside from high society or special functions). You've effectively made them background characters, bit characters in the stage that is your OC's life, and they behave completely OOC just to make your character look better. That's some lazy writing, right there.
In terms of mechanics:
1. Your spelling is seriously, SERIOUSLY horrible. You need a spellchecker (firefox has one built in) as well as an editor. A GOOD editor.
2. Your grammar needs a lot of work, too.
3. So does your punctuation.
4. You need to slow your pacing down. You have everything happening ridiculously fast with little to no description or detail.
Now, I do hope you are smart enough and calm enough to take this comment in the spirit it was intended (that of helpfulness) and not delete it. Naturally, I'm saving a backup of my comment as well as the link to your story so that I can repost or send someone else along who you might be more willing to listen to.
Take care~
3153128
And
and tren 
so I'll fix this don't worry and thanks for the advice
Im doing the best I can Im under some stress and I asure you that I will fix this story about now. And thanks I just read over it
3153241 No problem.
There's a lot of very nice groups here on Fimfiction to help authors with editing and proofreading and such, so I'd suggest checking them out as well :)
MidnightDancer said it all, you should listen his advice.
And you're going to correct the story NOW, not after pulling another chapter, because a reader is not going to read past a rushed, boring and cliché first chapter. Correct what you already have before adding anything else.
Ok ok Im trying the best I can I only have an IPod to type and is it really that rushed?
Im sooooooo tired
yay nix is one of my favs too
Freaking auto type screws everything up
3162310
Instead of pointing it out, try fixing it.
3153128 why are self-inserts hard i mean you only coppy your selfe and make it in a pony or other kind of character
More like the three thousand and forty-sixth element.
3165192
True but this story is different.
3165192 villians better watch out because there are more elemants then ever
3168911
I like to read self inserts too they're so funny but I really hate when they cancell it from so many dislikes.
I love to draw I really wanted to finish this drawing but then I lost my notebook and then I found it
it was in my bed all along 
3173094
That's great I can't wait to read it! XD
Before writing chapter 4 I was watching the slender files and it got inspired to write this chapter. I also wanna thank MidnightDancer for giving me advice with describing.
good story so far.
3203170
Thanks
:O
cant wait to read more of this series
What? Brother? Me so confused! *sob*
Whoa did not see that coming
Talk about a cliffhanger
I love this series! NEXT CHAPTER SOON PLEASE DX
3230625
Coming in a few minutes or in an hour
i love it and i am surprise that an element of harmony that was lost in time has returned
My new goal in life is to brohoof Rainbow Dash.
Why does this story have this many thumbs down? Is this some kind of cruel joke?
Only have three words for the end of this chapter... DUN DUN DUN
3244307
I know
Dun... Dun DUN!!
WTF IS HAPPENING!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
*yawn* Im sooooooo tired well *yawn* here you go chapter7 night everypony
Worth the wait :D
Mayonnaise is indeed an instrument
If I thought it was deliberately done to "stick it" to the rules, I would stand up in Grand Central Station and shout your praise for placing the commas outside of the quotation marks.
>3279200
What?
3269317 After reading this comment I voted disliked without reading. U mad?
3279435 Ya see there are people that are complete flankholes and then there's you.