You might be asking why the hell am I tied and blindfolded.... Somewhere. I really really REALLY don't have the slightest clue where exactly am I. Soooooooo yeah, I'm just going to tell you what happened before this mess.
***************THIS MORNING****************
It was eleven in the morning. A perfect time to sleep when being home alone. My dad Xavier A. Rodriguez is an archeologist and my mom Sandra Rodriguez is a scientist. Together they....um, exploreish. Eh who cares. I was happily sleeping when my phone rang. I ignored it. The phone rang and rang and rang and RANG until I answered.
"Ah, what do you want!?!"
It was my friend Raul.
"Oh good a friendly voice"
"Why the hell are you calling me in the middle of the night?"
"Uh, its....almost twelve in the afternoon"
"Its night time somewhere"
"Do you know where the lake is Kaleb?"
"Ya"
"Well me, Jason, and Jasmine found something"
"Something?," I asked.
"Something," he answered exited.
"Sounds lame and I have plans"
"Uhuh, like what?"
"An MLP marathon"
"A what? Come here right Now our frienships over"
"Oooooookaaaay"
He hung up.
After using the bathroom, eating and getting dressed [random guy: Not taking a shower nor combing your hair eh?] I left my house and headed to the lake.
*******************AT THE LAKE******************
The lake was empty.
"RAÚL!," I yelled at the top of my lungs.
No answer.
I got lasoed and pulled into the woods. It was Jasmine.
"Hi Kaleb," she waved inocently.
"Dude," Jason started. "You made it"
"Raúl made me," I complained.
"Yeah we were forced too and he decided to make a vote of who will go down the trench and get the thing."
"What trench," I asked.
They pointed behind me.
"Im here guys," Raúl said."ok Its simple, we have to not find the burned stick," He looked at me. "Why dont you go first Kaleb"
"Ok,"the first stick was burned stick.
"Bad luck bro," Jason said.
I focused on Raúl ."Son of a_
****************AT THE BOTTOM OF ThE TRENCH**************
Whatever it was knew that I was getting closer because it was getting brighter and brighter until it was a round me. I got levitated into the air and my vision when dark.
The first thing I felt was wind. Lots and lots of wind. All I saw were black and blue lights spinning around me. Out of nowhere I crashed with a cyan blurand I came crashing to the ground spinning until I hit my head with a rock and blacked out.
I regained conciousness and began to hear two familiar voices. My head hurt so bad. I picked up my backpack and sneaked all the way to the voices.
"I swear Shy there was a flying hairless ape," Rainbow Dash said
"I hope Its alright," Fluttershy said.
"I gotta go and tell the others to be on the look out," she flew away.
"My one and only chance," I whispered to myself and I sotos a little too fast with a stupid grin on my face. [random guy: yeah yeah not creepy at all -cough- creeper -cough-]
Fluttershy was paralized with fear. I imediatly regretted unhiding when RD's voice.
"There it is," I got tacked and I blacked out.
******************NOW*******************
I heard steps and whispers before the blindfold was off. Twilight Sparkle was sitting on a chair with a notepad and quill at her comand.
"Name?"
Where to begin...
I'm almost done Chapter 2 is coming in a few hours and I know I haven't described that well but This is my first story and I'm getting better
You've made a countless number of punctuation/grammar mistakes, and some of the dialogue sounds weird, but I understand it's your first story and it looks pretty good so far.
global3.memecdn.com/grammar-nazi_o_254474.jpg
This was horrible writing.
I kinda like the idea of the story so far, but you seriously need an editor.
Oh my...... What to say....... What to critique...... (let's just say it's BAD, REALLY BAD)
Ok normally im not that bothered by bad grammar.... that stands mostly true this time as well. But I must say that this might be the first story I have come across that have almost literally some error in every sentence. Now I Think the concept is intriguing so I will keep on reading. However you should get someone to clean up this story because there are a lot of individuals who are bothered by bad grammar and that leads to your story being shown in a bad light. Seriously even thought I was not bothered by the errors I almost wondered if you did this on purpose since I had to read every sentance twice to really make heads or tails of this story. Hope your writing will inprove for your own sake and good luck.
There are many multiple errors to be fixed. Don't get me wrong, it's a good storyline, you just need good grammar, spelling and punctuation. I COULS help if you like. Just PM me if you're interested whatsoever.