I think I would have prefered this story if he would have been released after the initial rape, would have realised he did love her etc etc.. rather than the kidnap and rape scenario we have now because in these stories I can never make my rational side go away which yells: kidnap, been away for months, no sunlight, parents think hes dead and are mourning.. well you get the idea.
Ok well I gave it a down vote. I wasn't going to post in order to avoid the "you downvoted because it's a rapefic" arguement but I decided that since i down ussually downvote I might a well give my opinion, for whatever it's worth.
First off I did read the story in it's entirety and no I did not down vote solely because the story invovles rape. That said, I found the story boring. It was a lot of nothing in the first chapter. Second I am not a fan of 2nd person perspective stories because I feel like some authors use it so they don't need to create a main character( not saying that you chose this style for that reason but thats the way it feels).Third the sex was short and boring. I feel as though you had more but cut it out. Next I hate when the "victim" ends up developing stockholm syndrome and then ends up like "yay, rape me again". To me it cheapens the story and makes it feel like there wasn't a lot of thought put into the ending.
Ok as for pro's, I liked the punishment I thought that it was fairly interesting but it would've been better if vinyl didn't let "Anon" cum at all(just my opinion) .I can also see Vinyl being a crazy obsessive bitch.
I hope that some part of this helps you. And I hope that you understand that this isn't some kind of attack on you.
I up voted this because in my opinion, it was fairly well written. I do have to agree with what another user said however, in that I am not a big fan of all the events of the story suddenly becoming okay because the victim says he/she loves his/her captor.
Stockholm syndrome doesn't make everything okay. What about his life he's missing out on? Friends? Family? Co-workers? He's trapped in the basement and used for nothing but sex.
I think I would've liked the story better if the rape had happened (Since, let's be honest here, this story is just a sexual fantasy thing, the rape was going to happen no matter what.) and then Vinyl got jailed or something.
2895817 I do still have much to work on, and I do appreciate you actually telling what you did/didn't like. The ending could have used some more work, I agree, but I was getting bored and if I tried to continue it would have had an even worse ending.
And no, I don't see this as an attack, you're just here to help and teach me a bit. Thank you for your time.
I down-voted due to the fact that the second chapter was filled with unnecessary little sentences or remarks. Also some parts of the story should have been fleshed out more such as why she needed the drug because she obviously isn't schizophrenic, maybe but it isn't very believable that she has bipolar disorder, and I highly doubt that she has depression. That being said, then how did she get her hands on some if it has to be prescribed by a doctor (I made sure by looking it up so I didn't sound stupid.), also how did nobody at the party that had people "literally all over the place!" (Your words.) seem to notice someone unconscious as Vinyl most likely had to drag him to the basement which would seem awfully suspicious. The ending was disappointing because of the Stockholm Syndrome and made me wonder how nobody had found him since the last place he would have been seen was her home and what would have been a mysterious call about a kidnapping that was cut off. I would say more, but I feel this is more than enough to help as most of my other qualms are more personal things that bug me.
I really like(d) this story, even if the whole 'raped (yet enjoying it) and being trapped in the basement of the girl who did it for longer than a day' thing doesn't sit well with my claustrophobia and socially-conscious mind. So, kudos to you for making it enjoyable
unfortunately are you sure?
Meh. You get a like.
Good fic! But made me "wut"
2894542
That's it? No real criticism, constructive or not? That seems like a waste of a comment.
I think I would have prefered this story if he would have been released after the initial rape, would have realised he did love her etc etc.. rather than the kidnap and rape scenario we have now because in these stories I can never make my rational side go away which yells: kidnap, been away for months, no sunlight, parents think hes dead and are mourning.. well you get the idea.
ME LIKE
I jelly
Ok well I gave it a down vote. I wasn't going to post in order to avoid the "you downvoted because it's a rapefic" arguement but I decided that since i down ussually downvote I might a well give my opinion, for whatever it's worth.
First off I did read the story in it's entirety and no I did not down vote solely because the story invovles rape. That said, I found the story boring. It was a lot of nothing in the first chapter. Second I am not a fan of 2nd person perspective stories because I feel like some authors use it so they don't need to create a main character( not saying that you chose this style for that reason but thats the way it feels).Third the sex was short and boring. I feel as though you had more but cut it out. Next I hate when the "victim" ends up developing stockholm syndrome and then ends up like "yay, rape me again". To me it cheapens the story and makes it feel like there wasn't a lot of thought put into the ending.
Ok as for pro's, I liked the punishment I thought that it was fairly interesting but it would've been better if vinyl didn't let "Anon" cum at all(just my opinion) .I can also see Vinyl being a crazy obsessive bitch.
I hope that some part of this helps you. And I hope that you understand that this isn't some kind of attack on you.
I up voted this because in my opinion, it was fairly well written. I do have to agree with what another user said however, in that I am not a big fan of all the events of the story suddenly becoming okay because the victim says he/she loves his/her captor.
Stockholm syndrome doesn't make everything okay. What about his life he's missing out on? Friends? Family? Co-workers? He's trapped in the basement and used for nothing but sex.
I think I would've liked the story better if the rape had happened (Since, let's be honest here, this story is just a sexual fantasy thing, the rape was going to happen no matter what.) and then Vinyl got jailed or something.
Just my opinion, take it for what you will.
2895817 I do still have much to work on, and I do appreciate you actually telling what you did/didn't like. The ending could have used some more work, I agree, but I was getting bored and if I tried to continue it would have had an even worse ending.
And no, I don't see this as an attack, you're just here to help and teach me a bit. Thank you for your time.
2895382 you, good sir, get a like for your picture alone, though I am jelly as well, about the sex with vinyl, not the whole hostage part
I down-voted due to the fact that the second chapter was filled with unnecessary little sentences or remarks. Also some parts of the story should have been fleshed out more such as why she needed the drug because she obviously isn't schizophrenic, maybe but it isn't very believable that she has bipolar disorder, and I highly doubt that she has depression. That being said, then how did she get her hands on some if it has to be prescribed by a doctor (I made sure by looking it up so I didn't sound stupid.), also how did nobody at the party that had people "literally all over the place!" (Your words.) seem to notice someone unconscious as Vinyl most likely had to drag him to the basement which would seem awfully suspicious.
The ending was disappointing because of the Stockholm Syndrome and made me wonder how nobody had found him since the last place he would have been seen was her home and what would have been a mysterious call about a kidnapping that was cut off. I would say more, but I feel this is more than enough to help as most of my other qualms are more personal things that bug me.
That is, without question, the weirdest boner I have ever had. And I'm not even done yet.
Fuck.
wow very nice
I really like(d) this story, even if the whole 'raped (yet enjoying it) and being trapped in the basement of the girl who did it for longer than a day' thing doesn't sit well with my claustrophobia and socially-conscious mind. So, kudos to you for making it enjoyable
Me after first chapter: You have my attention.
Me after second chapter: *slowly stands up from chair, walks into corner and starts laughing his ass off. Sees alternate ending after coming back.*
Pfft,fuck that! *clicks next chapter*
I would have prison shanked her ass for keeping me in the basement! Great story though
3099901
"with your dick"
WHO SAID THAT!?
LOL!!! LOL MOMENT!!! XD
GOOD FUCKIN JOB
Excuse me for a moment...
Yeah, Stockholm syndrome isn't really my thing, but dude.
That was fuckin' HOT. Also, 'I' am a dumbass for even having to need Stockholm in the first place. Bruh.