• Member Since 21st Aug, 2011
  • offline last seen May 8th, 2022

canonkiller


<- this horse is gay and there's nothing you can do about it

E
Source

A series of poetic shorts.

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** This story was written when I was 15-16, and the quality and content reflect that. Please be aware that my position on topics contained within may have changed in the time between publishing and now, and I apologize for any offensive material that I may have condoned in my younger years. **

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 22 )

I appear to be leaking. That was goddamn beautiful.

Very poignant. Also, probably the only kind of poetry that I actually enjoy. Will keep reading.

Christ, this is great. Beautiful stuff.

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Thank you! :twilightsmile:

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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :twilightsmile:

Okay, I thought I was one of the only active poets on this site who writes poems as entire stories, I guess this adds another. I couldn't make out what meter or rhyme scheme you were using (if any). Mind shooting me a PM on the specifics of that? I'd love to chat with you.

I thought this was good. Exceptional for FIMFiction, but not tear worthy or top notch. Good. I think your free verse was a bit too free for what you were trying to do here. The first person interaction between mother and daughter, your command of formatting, and your use of brief chapters all worked to your advantage.

That said, this is also pretty bland. I'd love to see you expand on poetry like this and I'm pleasantly surprised that there are more of us out there. Note that I'm an extremely critical reviewer and this is the most positive comment I've made in months.

Shoot me a PM.

Okay, this earns a fave even before I read the other two.

Well, that was very poignant. I enjoyed this story(poem?) very much, even if it was quite different from the stories I usually read. I'll be watching you, Ice.

That was beautiful. I am crying.

Wow, I'm not much of a poet, but I can safely say this is beautiful.

One comment/question that tripped me up for a bit:

You spread your little wings,
Full of potential, your teacher had said,
And said,
But I can hear thunder in my ears.

Should that be, And you said,?

Either way, this is really nice: heartwarming. Good job!

The first poem was definitely my favorite, but each of the other two have some pretty cool and interesting things going on in them! There were very touching, with the little filly and the older narrator dynamic bringing a wonderful feel to the stories. I like what you did here, please feel free to do it more often. Or you know, whatever you want to write is fine

Now show us the rest of those 32 remaining stories!

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Sorry, must have missed a word. I'll fix it soon!
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Thanks! I'll be sure to post a bunch of stuff soon! (Although getting things finished is a whole 'nother story)

I seem to have busted an eye-pipe.

...

When the hell did I install eye-pipes? OH GOD MY MY FACE IS LEAKING.

Joking aside, these are very beautiful and poignant little snippets, and I am glad you shared them with us.

wow... this was me before I came out as trans... I always wanted to be pretty because no one thought I was, and no one ever thought that my kind of style was pretty...:fluttershbad:

I cant even... thats how i felt when my grandpa left... god dammit u triggered me twice in one day!!!:fluttercry:

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