And That's What Ponies Are Made Of

by canonkiller

And Earth Pony Hooves

From your mouth came the sounds of rivers
Of rainy days and the rainbows after
And you sang with the gentle curves of the stream
Even as the tears cut creeks of their own down your face

Why would you ever go, you used to say,
You were going to stay by my side forever,
You
Promised

I wish I could have told you that promises weren't always kept,
And that forever was for the goddesses,
But I suppose full bellies and healthy hooves belonged to them as well,
Since we lacked those also.

But I couldn't bring myself to tell you,
As I couldn't tell you why there were no more fruits on the trees,
Or why the ponies in the golden armor took daddy away,
Or why the letters said that daddy wouldn't come home,
Or why I was lying in bed and not getting up,
No matter how much you cried

So instead you sang, the lullabies of the four-hooved,
Songs of harvest and health and joy,
Songs that ended with, love or my dear,
And showed no sign of the opposites

So when my eyes closed, and your songs faded to hiccups,
I listen to my heartbeat and sang back to you,

Listen to the earth sing in the morning sun,
And bend back the branches of the orchard trees,
Lift your eyes to the sky,
And you will always see me.

Because no matter, no matter,
What your fate does bring,
Together we'll be,
Forever we'll be,

One of a kind, you finished,
Your hoof hot on my side, even though I couldn't see it,
But if we are all one of a kind,
Aren't we all the same?

I laughed, but it was nothing but breath to you,
So I smiled as well,
If the birch and the oak and the pine are all trees,
Does that mean they are all the same?

That is how it will be for us now,
As we are all together as ponies,
But different in our skin,

Grow strong like the oak,
And tall like the pine,
And let your worries free in the wind like the willow's leaves,

Root your heart in your home,
And brave out the storm,
So you can see the sun again,

It will be hard, but so is winter,
And the spring always comes again,
After that comes brilliant summer,
Then fall leaves of brown and red,

So do not fall in bitter coldness,
When all you see is bleak and bare,
At least wait until the summer,
To let the wind blow through your hair,

You are beautiful, my child,
Both in body, and in head,
So don't wait for me forever,
As I'll be watching where you tread,

Don't forget me, little darling,
Even as the sun sets on my part,
I'll breathe forever, if you let me,
If you leave space for me...

Silence.
I felt weightless.
The only thing
was
your

breath
on

my
skin

as

you

cried

and

you

finished

my

song

"...in my heart."

Comments

[Taxus]

I appear to be leaking. That was goddamn beautiful.

[Pearple Prose]

Christ, this is great. Beautiful stuff.

[canonkiller]

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Thank you!

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Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[LunaUsesCaps]

Okay, I thought I was one of the only active poets on this site who writes poems as entire stories, I guess this adds another. I couldn't make out what meter or rhyme scheme you were using (if any). Mind shooting me a PM on the specifics of that? I'd love to chat with you.

I thought this was good. Exceptional for FIMFiction, but not tear worthy or top notch. Good. I think your free verse was a bit too free for what you were trying to do here. The first person interaction between mother and daughter, your command of formatting, and your use of brief chapters all worked to your advantage.

That said, this is also pretty bland. I'd love to see you expand on poetry like this and I'm pleasantly surprised that there are more of us out there. Note that I'm an extremely critical reviewer and this is the most positive comment I've made in months.

Shoot me a PM.

[DJ TR33]

Well, that was very poignant. I enjoyed this story(poem?) very much, even if it was quite different from the stories I usually read. I'll be watching you, Ice.

[Daedalus Aegle]

That was gorgeous.

[canonkiller]

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Thank you all for your kind words!

[pyropyro]

wow, just wow...

[Fluttersyke]

The first poem was definitely my favorite, but each of the other two have some pretty cool and interesting things going on in them! There were very touching, with the little filly and the older narrator dynamic bringing a wonderful feel to the stories. I like what you did here, please feel free to do it more often. Or you know, whatever you want to write is fine

Now show us the rest of those 32 remaining stories!

[canonkiller]

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Sorry, must have missed a word. I'll fix it soon!
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Thanks! I'll be sure to post a bunch of stuff soon! (Although getting things finished is a whole 'nother story)

[Quantum_Shift]

I seem to have busted an eye-pipe.

...

When the hell did I install eye-pipes? OH GOD MY MY FACE IS LEAKING.

Joking aside, these are very beautiful and poignant little snippets, and I am glad you shared them with us.

[Feather-Song]

I cant even... thats how i felt when my grandpa left... god dammit u triggered me twice in one day!!!