Highs And Lows

FlutterDash1,424 stories ·2,585 members

Rainbow Dash goes for a spin in some of the most extreme weather Ponyville has seen in years, but runs into somepony she doesn't expect.

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Comments ( 4 )

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Souldin

Souldin #1 · Mar 7th, 2012 · · ·

This one-shot currently has zero comments...I shall be rectifying that today, for here is a comment and hopefully a decent review as well.

Let's start off with the praise and for me, the first thing I can think of to praise about this fanfic is the writing. The detail and description specifically because holy heck is it good. This story is wonderfully written with both a wide range of vocabulary and a well chosen vocabulary used to help the details bring the events into view. Sometimes it can be a bit cryptic in the way it is phrased but overall the story illustrates its events clearly and I'm actually fond of writing being phrased in a less than straightforward manner from time to time. Characters feel like themselves, the little humorous misunderstanding was pretty darn hilarious, and you gave a logical reason for Fluttershy having difficulty flying at that particular moment.

As well written as this fanfic is the story it tells is not exactly the most memorable. It's not bad but it doesn't stick in your mind. I think the key reason for this would have to be its other weakness in that a large amount of the beautifully written fanfic feels like filler. A lot of it doesn't really add to the storyline and with the first part in particular some of the scenes don't even go together that well. The 'Rainbow Dash watching the storm' and the 'Twilight catches Rainbow Dash preening Fluttershy and mistakes it for something else' scenes not only have merely a slim connection to one another but also have a different atmosphere to them and don't connect quite as well as they could have.

I hope this review has managed to help you in some way with your writing and if it hasn't, well at least this story of yours now has a comment. I've also noticed that you have a blog post regarding this fanfic; I haven't read it for fear it would spoil some of my opinions regarding this fanfic but I would like to and will do a day or two later. Great job, keep up the good work!

lolnopenothappening

lolnopenothappening #2 · Feb 20th, 2013 · · ·

Aw come on, this can't be complete, not yet :C

Forum Explorer

Forum Explorer #3 · Feb 27th, 2013 · · ·

It's very good, but as short as it is I don't think you should skip anything. Letting Rainbow Dash catch Fluttershy and offer to preen her would be a nice addition.

Also for a second when it jumped to Twilight I was expecting it to be a flashback explaining why Fluttershy followed Rainbow Dash.

RoyalBardofCanterlot