Not much to say. College student. Dabble in writing as a hobby, though I wish I was better. Love music. And ponies of course. "Sweet Celestia's HORN, that was beautiful!"
Twilight Sparkle and her friends decide to take a day off. They hike to a cave that Twilight read about in one of her books, clamoring at the prospect of what they might find inside. Though what they find, is alive, and it may just not let them go.
T for some mild violence and graphic themes. There is some mild FSxRD shipping but it is bearable.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I can't say I like this all the way, it was alright, and the writing was alright. I guess just not something I personally enjoyed.
Also her canon name is Ditzy Doo, "Derpy" just sounds demeaning, I cringed every time you wrote it.
80404
Okay, I'll add that as a tag. I'm sorry I guess I didn't really think about how others would see it. Thank you for informing me of your thoughts.
80952
Thank you for taking time to read it, even though it wasn't really up your alley. I do have some revision plans, I will admit. And I struggled so much with what to call her. In the end the fan community and even Hasbro's staff seemed to prefer Derpy, so that's what won me over. All though I do realize she was referred to as "Ditzy" in an episode. Thank you for your thoughts on the matter. Perhaps she will undergo a name change when I start a revision.
Hmm, not bad.
Alittle rushed at times, but not bad.
Hmm, not the best but decent. Some small pieces of advice: drop the description of what happened to the spirits, better to let us imagine that. drop the line: "Twilight nodded, sensing that Luna was truthful." it doesn't make sense in context with her doubts about Luna being okay. Just say: "Twilight nodded." or something like "Twilight nodded, trusting the Princess."
I really liked it when Luna showed up, that was particularly well done.
:
Fluttershy's despair thing was a little weird. It wasn't badly written it just didn't seem to fit. I was half expecting her to be trolling Rainbow Dash (before she went off the edge) in order to trick Rainbow Dash into admitting she was in love with her.