Well, there's the Chapter that took me so long. Please excuse the writing mistakes, these meds my field doc put me on are kickin' my ass, but rest assured, they will be corrected when I can fucking see straight. How I managed to write the rest today is utterly beyond my comprehension. Thank Celestia for spell-check!

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I understand the need for more details, which is normally not a problem. However, I'm starting to run out of original things to say and I don't want to get repetitive. Which is much harder than it looks. Thesaurus, here I come!

Comments and Criticism of all kinds are welcome! I can't learn from my mistakes if nopony points them out!

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It seems I mislead a lot of people whenever I transitioned into it simply because I guess it just flowed too well for them to notice, so I decided to include the warning just in case

225289 No life is insignificant, take it from first hand experience. I grew up with a hateful mother who constantly reminded me that I would amount to nothing, and for the longest time, I felt insignificant. Now look at me! I fly military aircraft and entertain people with stories. No life is insignificant, we all have something in store for us, we just have to know when and where to look.

Now, with my god damn, depressing philosophy out of the way, know that I was in a very similar position as you when I first actually became interested in this stuff. And ironically, it was the lessons I learned off this show and this site that drove me to become what I am today, which is why I decided to write my own stories and lessons.

I see good things for you, young one (more irony considering I'm only 26, I'm not that old myself). Oh, and I would LOVE to discuss quantum mechanics!

Well another great chapter, in this case I think it may have been better to drag this conflict into at least the next chapter (I love cliffhangers [Don't understand ponies that hate them]). However, with that said I like that you made her family the "This is for her own good" and not the "I hate homosexuality (hate is dumb even when you don't agree with a life style choice [Oh the hypocrisy {me being a hypocrite that is}])" kind of ponies, and that when they saw the were wrong the changed their ways. Also Applejack could have soloed the whole lot of them.

Absolutely amazing, loved every second of it!

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That's actually a really awesome comment/philosophic story. I'm inspired

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OMC, science and reason ftw!

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You know, I actually thought about splitting the chapter into two separate ones, but after further reviewing, I decided to leave it the way it was simply because the next chapter is a different topic, and bringing information from one situation to another eventually confuses other ponies.
Now, as for the family values, I agree. The whole homophobia is used in nearly every story in which she confronts her family, and me, who likes to be different, said to hell with that and spent an entire day thinking up a believable reason...which is laced with irony considering it took me FOREVER just to come up with a simple solution. But that's writing for you I guess.
Also, after watching the show (multiple times) I came to realize that just as I do, Applejack has an emotional side that is buried under determination and a strong outside shell. So, in order for her to do what I wanted her to do, I knew something would have to break that shell, and what's more fitting than her family, who she loves and looks up to, disown her for something so trivial, it just seemed too easy. She had to break somehow...they all do

Very nice overall. You accidentally a word in a few places, but that`s just typos. The only criticism I have that`s writing-related is something I had to learn the hard way. You don`t always have to use descriptive language. Like I say, I often did the same thing, and it took several years for me to learn that you don`t have to avoid `said` like the plague. For the most part a reader can grasp the tone by the context and wording alone, so always using more expressive words for dialogue can be a bit much sometimes. You didn`t do this too much, honestly, but I thought it might be something to consider.

In a few places, too, the pronouns and adjectives were a touch repetitive. Most notably, you used `loving sleep` a fair amount. It`s not a bad thing per se, but if you establish an adjective for something once and don`t really have anything else for it, don`t be afraid to leave it without description when you use the same noun or verb again. Much like the back-and-forth in a dialogue, an adjective will effectively carry over to further references to the same thing for a while.

Just my two bits on it, it`s a wonderful story and you write very well. Hope to see more from you!

I'm grateful that you put the warning in. im not much of a fan of clopfics, just passionate-ness, no sex. And no im not shy it's just i don't
Ever want to think of ponies every day in a sexual manner.

I'm really liking how this stories developing, looking forward to the next chapter when it's up.

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And I respect that very much, it sucks reading a fic that's just a rewording of the last four fics's you've read.

As soon as Applejack made a move on Rainbow Dash with such loving words, my hear exploded twice and yeah I agree there were perhaps a few words to concider, but overall what transpired in this chapter was brilliant. I really want to learn from this if I want to endorce shipping in a fic like I explained earlier oh wise one.

Truely love the substance that was put into this, though methods may seem a little exaggerated if there was anything to critisize about. I know its not over but it is truely relieving of knowing their love has been eventually accepted. I don't mind clop fics either, in fact love them depending on how much background was put behind it. I can see what people argue about in this comment section, but really it would be something that would bother me if I were to reading lemon fics which have all sex and no substance that would make people say they would never see equestria this way. (meaning pretty much the theory is half true)

Anyways great addition, love it, love you for writing it and certainly was hoping for AJ for a turn

My advice? End it here. There's really not a whole lot farther you can take it. In reality, I would've probably dragged the mess with the family reunion out over a couple chapters, but that's just me.

In any case, I'm seeing a vast improvement. Your writer's craft has gotten a lot better, although I'm still noticing some incorrect apostrophe and comma use, and that issue of multiple characters speaking in the same paragraph. Just minor fixes, really.

And am I the only one who finds it odd to be giving advice to a writer eight years my senior? Especially advice you seem to be following. Eh.

243115 If I may inquire, what exactly are your grievances on the matter (the whole advice thing?) I accept and give advice to everyone. Don't let people fool you, nobody's perfect and we all need a little advice.
And though I thought about ending it here, I actually have one last chapter in this story, called Revelations...no, it's not a biblical thing
At any rate, I hope you'll forgive me, but I feel the story needs a little bit of closure, not an imaginable twenty endings that follow. But like I said, it's one more chapter and it has solid meaning; it's not just filler.

*Cracks Knuckles* Let's do this!

I just noticed that there some serious time traveling issues on the chapter page!

chapter 1: Feb 14
chapter 2-4: Feb 13
chapter 5: Feb 14

It's just a step to the left... if you catch my drift

I realize that it is most likely due to the fact that you had edited it (if that's even possible). but I thought it would be amusing to point that out.

But as for the way the story, I found it actually quiet good, the interactions between Dash and AJ seem as close as possible to the way the character's are portrayed in the show (even though this is fiction of fiction of a writer who isn't a writer on the show). Though I would recommend you add some extra southern accent (AKA Spelling) to her speech. (It caused me to disconnect as a reader at times because I didn't think it was AJ talking).

As for the clop sections, I didn't really read it a whole lot (I came back later to read them...what? I was interested in the story.), but as a writer myself I can say that you did a excellent job, it's rather awkward to actually write those scenes out without it sounding cheesy as hell.

So overall, Bravo I look forward to read more.

There better be a happy ending *takes out shot-gun* of else...

5 stars

I say expand your mind and go for the happy ending if you want it. As a writer pushing though those blocks can only get easier and each time you do it, you skills improve if it takes a while so be it. But I would also recommend you do the tragic ending if you can't get that ending out of your head (trust me, it will bug you until you write it.) or you just want to get content out.

Sorry if that didn't help in your decision, but I just gave you my two cents on the matter and my reasoning as a writer myself.

Well done sir/madame this is as good as Pillow Thoughts and Pillow Thoughts is friggin' incredible, My only complaint is that is has to end at some point.

Story: 9.5/10.

Character Interaction: 8/10.

Grammar: 8.5/10.

My Emotions While Reading:

Personal Library Place: In My fav 20 easily, maybe even in My fav 10.