Right. Nine shots of 160-proof alcohol? It doesn't matter how well you can hold your drinks. That is, without any uncertainty, a lethal case of alcohol poisoning. Forget plot livers, or anything like that. There is no way anyone could survive that. That, and slamming into the ground after creating a Sonic Rainboom (which, by approximating the angle of the resultant Mach cone, would require a speed of around Mach 5) without any injuries at all? Okay, you mentioned that she decelerated, but that kind of braking would likely tear her wings off, and subject her to approximately 1200 Gs, which would turn her internal organs into Jell-O.
Apart for that, I'm noticing a significant improvement in writer's craft, emotion and all that...kinda skipped over the cloppy bit though, so I can't really critique that. It's just...not my thing. There's still a few issues with the use of "it's" (remember, it's short for "it is!" It's not a possessive imposition in that context!) Overall, not bad. If there's one thing that should be applauded here, it's decent pacing. Way too many shipfics don't have that. So, for a first story, this is very well done. Keep it up. You've got potential.
Just...in the future, work on medical realism. For no other reason than to satisfy me. Please?
220118 Again, please understand that I choose my numbers based on my experiences. I can drink that much, my friend. Understand that I'm a solitary drinker and you have yet to tell me the average a person can drink. When I was 16, my father gave me free reign to two bottles of Captain Morgan spiced rum. Needless to say, both were gone within the hour. I'm really at a loss here. I NEED AVERAGES AND NOPONY WILL TELL ME!
Secondly, and don't take this out of context, I'm an F-16 pilot working with the USAF in the 6th S,O.S. Operational Aviation Detachment A stationed in fucking Arizona of all places(in case you didn't pick up on that, I really hate it here) And trust me when I tell you that pulling out of a 90 degree nosedive even at mach 2.5 (btw, a sonic rainboom is simply a break in the sound barrier that also rifts the light. In laymans terms, the wavelength gets thrown outta whack. Something of this sort actually happens in real life, but the light wavelengths travel so fast we can barely see them. this is apparently a cartoon where you can see rifts in the light...there goes your realism...) is possible if you are an experienced flyer. Look up on youtube F-22 nosedives and you'll see what I mean. Have I ever done it myself, hell no. I don't exactly feel like committing suicide. Just know that it is possible.(and in case you're wondering, yes, my balls get busted a lot by my squadmates for liking and writing about this. but I don't really care.)
And Lastly, and don't take this out of context either, while realism is nice, we're dealing with talking ponies with magical and flight abilities and ponies who have stretchy arms to hug all their friends. Point being, if it truly was realistic, it'd be about a pony who gets mounted by a steed just because...that's realism.
However, even though I may have come off like a jackass, I really do appreciate the criticism. Thank you! I've been sick for five days with nothing better to do...
220172 Yes, I am aware that it's a cartoon, but I'm a biology major, so I'm nitpicky about this stuff. That, and the angle of the Mach cone created in the Sonic Rainboom episode is proportional to speed through application of trig ratios. The speed to create that sort of Mach cone would be around Mach 5. Here's the video showing the calculation. (No, that's not me.) And technically, that effect could be created by multiple-density refraction caused by the sonic boom itself. I'd try to explain it further, but the wave mechanics involved are incredibly complex, and since I'm not a physics major...
So, the average on alcohol tolerance. Generally, when someone's BAC is over 0.1, they're drunk. On average, four shots of eighty-proof will do it. Nine shots will take you to 0.26, at which point you can be called utterly shit-faced. Now, considering what Dash was drinking was double the alcohol content, her resultant BAC would be between 0.5 and 0.54, at which point she'd be suffering from a lethal case of alcohol poisoning.
As for how you managed to survive drinking two bottles of Captain Morgan's in an hour...that's completely beyond me.
On another note, you're a fighter pilot? That's badass!
220239 Hmm...well played on the Mach argument. I suppose I just assumed the correlation between it and real life with the whole rift in wavelength garbage. In all honesty, I took the name for what it was, a sonic boom with a rift in light. I guess what's really happening is she's shattering through the light spectrum. Lol, I love this show. Go figure I missed something so important...the fucking shape of the Mach cone... Oh god, please, just don't tell my flight instructor, he'd prolly ground my whole squad if he saw I was so stupid Thank you for the averages, and I don't know how I do it either. In December, I broke my collar bone while I was out drinking. When I told the doctor how much I had to drink (nine shots of pure brain smearing liquor. This was the experience I based my numbers on) his face fucking froze. He sent me to the ER for alcohol poisoning, except there wasn't any. He assumes it has something to do with my body density. Which would explain why I'm so skinny but weigh so much. I wear a size 30 in pants, I'm 6'2'' and I weigh 241 lbs....legit...da fuck is up with my body...? And as for the other note, you're damn straight I'm a fighter pilot! Now you know why I love Dash so much! Just remember, I'm a pilot and I'd like to keep it that way, so please, let's keep the mistake in the realm of Ponyland!
221086 Like I said before, I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on the sixth part, but I'm not sure if I'll get it done tonight. Be sure to check back later in case I decide to not be lazy
And I think you'll find that writing about something you truly enjoy is easier than you think. This is basically writing itself. Yeah it needs a lot of polishing, but the basic idea just keeps coming. Every time I think I've squeezed enough out of the story, something else pops up! It's actually pretty tedious.
But I digress, for being a loyal fan, i entitle you to four mustache spikes
Debates aside (which makes me feel insecure) since and that Dashie to you yurself even seem like a badass, and also aside from the number of shots of alcohol done, that was a great fic chapter. I half expected something bad to happen getting drunk at all as well as applejack would of lasted longer at least. RD is too badass and loyal to give in to the laws of biology, physics not to mention the light sectrum. Keep it up.
221124 I took and aced a creative writng class in college that I can somewhat self edit, but regardless would need some help expand and refine ideas (I would even ask you in all 'honesty' )
this is a great story, and I enjoyed the comments just as much as the story its self. I always love to watch a good debate on personal experiences that come out in a story.
Holy Celestia, a fighter pilot! Well I'd just like to say that the improvement (in each chapter even) is amazing.
I feel insignificant now. Biology and advanced mathematics going toe to toe, and I'm just a high school student with an abnormal amount of knowledge quantum mechanics (for a high schooler).
You both are missing something with this discussion on BACs... THESE ARE PONIES. Not only is there a likely to be a pretty good mass difference between one and the average human, but their liver isn't the same size as ours. Also, have you even gotten a pony drunk? Do you know how much alcohol it would take to knock one out or kill it? No? Me either. And I don't really plan on it any time soon.
Right. Nine shots of 160-proof alcohol? It doesn't matter how well you can hold your drinks. That is, without any uncertainty, a lethal case of alcohol poisoning. Forget plot livers, or anything like that. There is no way anyone could survive that. That, and slamming into the ground after creating a Sonic Rainboom (which, by approximating the angle of the resultant Mach cone, would require a speed of around Mach 5) without any injuries at all? Okay, you mentioned that she decelerated, but that kind of braking would likely tear her wings off, and subject her to approximately 1200 Gs, which would turn her internal organs into Jell-O.
Apart for that, I'm noticing a significant improvement in writer's craft, emotion and all that...kinda skipped over the cloppy bit though, so I can't really critique that. It's just...not my thing. There's still a few issues with the use of "it's" (remember, it's short for "it is!" It's not a possessive imposition in that context!) Overall, not bad. If there's one thing that should be applauded here, it's decent pacing. Way too many shipfics don't have that. So, for a first story, this is very well done. Keep it up. You've got potential.
Just...in the future, work on medical realism. For no other reason than to satisfy me. Please?
220118 Again, please understand that I choose my numbers based on my experiences. I can drink that much, my friend. Understand that I'm a solitary drinker and you have yet to tell me the average a person can drink. When I was 16, my father gave me free reign to two bottles of Captain Morgan spiced rum. Needless to say, both were gone within the hour. I'm really at a loss here. I NEED AVERAGES AND NOPONY WILL TELL ME!
Secondly, and don't take this out of context, I'm an F-16 pilot working with the USAF in the 6th S,O.S. Operational Aviation Detachment A stationed in fucking Arizona of all places(in case you didn't pick up on that, I really hate it here) And trust me when I tell you that pulling out of a 90 degree nosedive even at mach 2.5 (btw, a sonic rainboom is simply a break in the sound barrier that also rifts the light. In laymans terms, the wavelength gets thrown outta whack. Something of this sort actually happens in real life, but the light wavelengths travel so fast we can barely see them. this is apparently a cartoon where you can see rifts in the light...there goes your realism...) is possible if you are an experienced flyer. Look up on youtube F-22 nosedives and you'll see what I mean. Have I ever done it myself, hell no. I don't exactly feel like committing suicide. Just know that it is possible.(and in case you're wondering, yes, my balls get busted a lot by my squadmates for liking and writing about this. but I don't really care.)
And Lastly, and don't take this out of context either, while realism is nice, we're dealing with talking ponies with magical and flight abilities and ponies who have stretchy arms to hug all their friends. Point being, if it truly was realistic, it'd be about a pony who gets mounted by a steed just because...that's realism.
However, even though I may have come off like a jackass, I really do appreciate the criticism. Thank you!
I've been sick for five days with nothing better to do...
220172 Yes, I am aware that it's a cartoon, but I'm a biology major, so I'm nitpicky about this stuff. That, and the angle of the Mach cone created in the Sonic Rainboom episode is proportional to speed through application of trig ratios. The speed to create that sort of Mach cone would be around Mach 5. Here's the video showing the calculation. (No, that's not me.) And technically, that effect could be created by multiple-density refraction caused by the sonic boom itself. I'd try to explain it further, but the wave mechanics involved are incredibly complex, and since I'm not a physics major...
So, the average on alcohol tolerance. Generally, when someone's BAC is over 0.1, they're drunk. On average, four shots of eighty-proof will do it. Nine shots will take you to 0.26, at which point you can be called utterly shit-faced. Now, considering what Dash was drinking was double the alcohol content, her resultant BAC would be between 0.5 and 0.54, at which point she'd be suffering from a lethal case of alcohol poisoning.
As for how you managed to survive drinking two bottles of Captain Morgan's in an hour...that's completely beyond me.
On another note, you're a fighter pilot? That's badass!
220239 Hmm...well played on the Mach argument. I suppose I just assumed the correlation between it and real life with the whole rift in wavelength garbage. In all honesty, I took the name for what it was, a sonic boom with a rift in light. I guess what's really happening is she's shattering through the light spectrum. Lol, I love this show. Go figure I missed something so important...the fucking shape of the Mach cone...
Oh god, please, just don't tell my flight instructor, he'd prolly ground my whole squad if he saw I was so stupid
Thank you for the averages, and I don't know how I do it either. In December, I broke my collar bone while I was out drinking. When I told the doctor how much I had to drink (nine shots of pure brain smearing liquor. This was the experience I based my numbers on) his face fucking froze. He sent me to the ER for alcohol poisoning, except there wasn't any. He assumes it has something to do with my body density. Which would explain why I'm so skinny but weigh so much. I wear a size 30 in pants, I'm 6'2'' and I weigh 241 lbs....legit...da fuck is up with my body...?
And as for the other note, you're damn straight I'm a fighter pilot! Now you know why I love Dash so much!
Just remember, I'm a pilot and I'd like to keep it that way, so please, let's keep the mistake in the realm of Ponyland!
Pretty awesome story, liked it quite a bit 5 stars for you despite all the photonic behavioral inaccuracies and what not
221086 Like I said before, I'm glad you liked it. I'm working on the sixth part, but I'm not sure if I'll get it done tonight. Be sure to check back later in case I decide to not be lazy
And I think you'll find that writing about something you truly enjoy is easier than you think. This is basically writing itself. Yeah it needs a lot of polishing, but the basic idea just keeps coming. Every time I think I've squeezed enough out of the story, something else pops up! It's actually pretty tedious.
But I digress, for being a loyal fan, i entitle you to four mustache spikes
lol, I have too much fun with this stuff
Debates aside (which makes me feel insecure) since and that Dashie to you yurself even seem like a badass, and also aside from the number of shots of alcohol done, that was a great fic chapter. I half expected something bad to happen getting drunk at all as well as applejack would of lasted longer at least. RD is too badass and loyal to give in to the laws of biology, physics not to mention the light sectrum. Keep it up.
221124 I took and aced a creative writng class in college that I can somewhat self edit, but regardless would need some help expand and refine ideas (I would even ask you in all 'honesty' )
this is a great story, and I enjoyed the comments just as much as the story its self. I always love to watch a good debate on personal experiences that come out in a story.
Holy Celestia, a fighter pilot! Well I'd just like to say that the improvement (in each chapter even) is amazing.
I feel insignificant now. Biology and advanced mathematics going toe to toe, and I'm just a high school student with an abnormal amount of knowledge quantum mechanics (for a high schooler).
225289 man, i think i found my clone, im a sophomore and i can't get enough of quantum mechanics. well just all science in general.
220239
220274
You both are missing something with this discussion on BACs... THESE ARE PONIES.
Not only is there a likely to be a pretty good mass difference between one and the average human, but their liver isn't the same size as ours.
Also, have you even gotten a pony drunk? Do you know how much alcohol it would take to knock one out or kill it? No? Me either. And I don't really plan on it any time soon.
378451 i thought PONIES were actually smaller than hoomans?