A hundred years after the last of their original friends passed away, Spike the dragon, former apprentice to Princess Twilight Sparkle, has been arrested for a most heinous crime. What is this crime and why did this happen? Now Twilight must find a way to solve this situation.
Warning: DO NOT READ
While nothing explicit happens in this story at all, what’s left to the imagination is more than enough to question the sanity of all involved; characters, readers and author alike.
If you feel the need to read this and comment, please pretend you didn’t and start with “I didn’t read this, but...”
Chapters (1)
Oh god you did it
Making fun of those Sparity shippers, eh WD?
YESYESYES
D this is why I love you
Heh heh, I love it when someone jabs shipping. Bravo, sir.
I didn't read this, but it was amazing.
I didn’t read this, but... it sounds interesting, if a bit... meta, somehow.
Well, I guess I won't then.
I didn't read this, but... Well, actually, I really didn't read this.
I'm glad I didn't read this, because that would be gross.
I didn't read this, but I felt compelled to comment anyway.
OH CELESTIA WHY DID I IGNORE THE WARNING?!?
You're a madman, D. Someone needs to put a tent on your circus of insanity.
I didn't read this but, it seams the end might be impossible...
You are a bad person.
I genuinely haven't read this yet. I want to know. How worried should I be?
Aaahahahahahahahaaa!
I didn't read this, but if I had, I would say that it is amazing how much ships you don't really care for improve when they end badly.
I suppose it's my own fault for taking "do not read" as a joke, but there are not enough variations of 'WTF' in the english language to adequately express my opinion of this.
2648322 be VERY afraid.
Wanderer D, you're a credited writer even if this was a mixture of smut and comedy. Your story was amazing
This is the craziest idea I have ever seen and I fucking love it. I'm not reading it though; sounds fucky
Great, now my OCD won't let me read it because it says DO NOT READ.
Is it a good thing if inverse psychology doesn't work with you?
I didn’t read this, but judging from the picture, Spike stole all of Equestria's mustache-styling wax.
I did not listen... but I found it funny all the same.
Disgusting... but funny. And yes... you are a bad person.
At first, my body was ready. Then I had a seizure from the pure "WHAT".
As for what happened next, read the PM from me.
i didn't read this...but this was fucking amazing
D... I dunno if you are a genius (.MOV style) or a maniac (shed.mov fluttershy style)...
But I be damned -> IT WAS WORTH THE READ!
And since you have Spike in the story, have some in the comments too:
Didn't read but... OMGROFLOL
I don't regret this
Well. WELL. That was... interesting.
2648322
For the love of all that is holy, don't read it. Seriously.
That was extremely entertaining
What... Did I just read?
My mind before reading this..
My mind in the middle....
My mind after reading this....
*whispers to self*
Why did I read it! WHY!?
Ummm... well that was pretty much what I expected based on the description.
If anyone asks if I read it, I will deny it up and down.
I DID read this... And don't worry. There's far more insane than you. Just look at Nunchuks(or Chuckward, as he's now known.) Trust me, you're perfectly sane. Quite frankly, I found this hilarious.
While I saw that necrophilia thing coming the moment I read the description, it still didn't stop me from laughing. This was hilarious
I didn't read this... but something tells me this is either brilliantly insane or insanely brilliant.
And generously spiced with a truckload of WTF.
~N
I didn't read this [yet], but a story that pokes fun at Sparity shipping? Instant upvote and favorite!
I didn't read this but that was mother fucking hilarious.
I ignored your warning and I totally read it.
You'll receive the bill for my therapy in the mail. Start preparing yourself for how large it's gonna be
2648464
If you know what I mean. You can receive my bill any day, babe.
What...the...fuck...
Now that I've read this... That was fun, my dear brony! And yeah, still perfectly sane, imo.
(I'd expected it to be 'bout that, and my expectations have been exceeded!)
2648469 Touché!
I didn't read this, but after having not read it, I feel like there's some odd stuff in here—beyond the obvious, I mean. Spike is arrested for alleged necrophilia, i.e. possessing a sexual attraction to the dead. Not arrested for having sex with a corpse, mind (or attempting it), but being attracted to corpses. So, essentially, he was arrested for his thoughts rather than his actions. And that becomes even flimsier with how his intention was only to have sex with the corpse of a singular person he loved when she was living—could it even be called necrophilia, then? Or just an excessive and disturbing attraction to a single person? That's hardly something to arrest someone for either, strictly speaking about how Spike feels and what he thinks, and not his actions. Where did "necrophilia" enter the arrest, really?
Of course, that's just how I imagine the story went, not having read it.
Edit: Never mind all that. It's been pointed out to me that the term "necrophilia" refers to both the mentality of being attracted sexually to corpses or the thought of intercourse with them and the actual action of having intercourse with corpses. Which is stupid.
Don't tell me what to do.
Reading now.
2648484
It's unlikely the guard knew Spike had a thing for Rarity. And chances are anyone in a graveyard with that set up, saying those things, while digging up a dead body, is going to get arrested. It's not like he was exactly digging her up for a nice meal and a movie.
Future me sent me a message back in time to warn me about this.
"You know that thought you had when you read the description? Yea, it goes there."
I thanked future me for the warning and decided not to read this, but then realized that I was stuck having to read this to avoid causing a paradox. I gave future me the finger as he faded away with a stupid grin on his face.
What the fuck. I didn't read this, but... What. The. Actual. Fuck.