...is Twilight stupid enough to study it?
You are Anon, and it’s been far, far too long since you’ve messed with any of the ponies. You get bored easily and you’re a dick, so if you don’t fuck with someone at least once a week, you’ll start going crazy.
Rarity’s always an easy target, but you go after her too often. You’ll never try anything on Pinkie Pie again, not after what happened last time. God, you’ll never get the smell of radishes out of your nose… Fluttershy is too easy of a target; she’s hardly worth bothering at all. Rainbow Dash and Applejack are dangerous to mess with. Dash, because she’ll get revenge. AJ, because her brother will get revenge. Most of the other, unimportant ponies in the town are boring and have simple reactions.
Which leaves you with Twilight. She’s usually easy to prank and her reactions are always hilarious. And that brings you to where you are now: standing in her library foyer.
“How can I help you today, Anon?” she sweetly asks.
You grin, a plan already formed in your dark and sinister mind. “You’re really smart, right? Do you think you can answer a question that even the humans had trouble with?”
She gasps excitedly and clops her hooves together. “I’d love to try! Any chance to work with human culture and their questions is so fascinating!”
“Alright, here it is: ‘If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?’”
The look of excitement on her face slowly strips away. Her ears droop and she falls flat on her ass, looking up at you with her soulful, violet eyes. “I… I… don’t…” Something seems to click in her mind and her hair seems to twist somehow. She slowly cranes her neck around the library, looking to both sides of herself before turning her gaze back to you, showing an insane glint in her eyes. “Of course I can answer that! Just give me… give me a few days!”
You nod gratefully. “Thanks, Twilight. And take your time; we humans have been working on this question for a while. I don’t expect you to be able to figure it out that quickly.” Somehow, the look on her face seems to grow even more frantic. “Anyway, I’ll see you later!”
You quickly let yourself out before she can completely lose her shit. It wouldn’t be fun to get caught in one of her panic attacks.
That’s another thing you never want to happen again. When you first got to Equestria, she wanted to know everything… EVERYTHING about you. That included reproduction. She did… things… to you. Sure, they felt good, but they scarred you mentally.
Anyway, you walk home with a bounce in your step and a smile on your face. You know you planted a bug in Twilight’s head that wouldn’t leave her for a few days, successfully removing your boredom.
Knowing you’ve done your messed up deed for the day, you quickly forget about the incident.
However… Twilight did not.
“A question not even the humans could answer…” she mutters, poring through her notes. “Masters of science, but they couldn’t figure it out. That means it isn’t a science question. Which means it’s a magic question! You can do this, Twilight. You don’t want to let Anon down, after all… Oh no, not after last time.”
You aren’t the only one that remembers her actions when you first entered Equestria. “Maybe he’ll forgive me if I can answer this question for him.” Another strand of her hair jerks loose from her head, giving her frantic face an even more horrifying look.
“But how should I begin? There’s nothing here! Nopony ever even thought about this question before!” She wonders why that is. It seems like such a simple, obvious question that should occur to anypony! Do things make sounds if nothing is around to hear those sounds?
On the surface, the answer seems like an obvious yes. But after thinking about it, she realizes that it isn’t so simple.
It’s never that simple.
So she turned to her notes only to find nothing. Absolutely nothing. Lacking the option of using any scholarly research, she thinks of who among her friends would know the most about trees.
Applejack, of course. But Fluttershy also knows a lot and she seems to have a high affinity for the leafy structures. She’d pay them both a visit…
It’s been a nice few days of work and simple activities, but you’re starting to get bored again. Feeling in a bit of a dangerous mood, you decide to pay Applejack a visit. You just know she’ll absolutely hate your apple joke.
After casually strolling up to the farm and looking around for a while, you realize that she’s nowhere to be found. You walk up to the farmhouse and give the door a few good knocks. Little Applebloom answers the door.
“What do ya need, Anon?” she happily asks, overly eager to help you after you decided to tell her what her special talent was. After all, what better way to fuck with Applejack than by doing something nice for her sister that would piss AJ off?
“Your sister around? I have a question for her.”
“Twilight hauled her and Fluttershy off ta the Whitetail Woods for some reason a day or two ago. I ain’t seen none of them since! Big Mac and I’ve been thinking about running off to rescue them, but Twilight seemed like she was in one-uh her ‘moods’.”
“Huh. Wonder what could have brought that up. Well, I’ll go see if I can find them. Thanks, Bloomers.” It’s a good thing no one knew what that meant.
“No problem, Anon! I’ll see y’all later!”
You wave as you walk away toward the woods, wondering what Twilight is doing that would require Schoolbus Skitters and Orange Background.
“C-can we go home now, Twilight?” you hear Fluttershy quietly ask as you walk into a glade.
“I have to be sure, Fluttershy! We can’t let Anon down!”
“And Ah still ain’t sure why you’re so keen on impressin’ that fella,” Applejack answers.
You clear your throat and say, “She makes a good point, you know. I am kind of a dick, after all.”
Twilight gasps and the other two look up. “Anon! I finally have an answer for your question!”
Question? “I don’t know what you’re talking about, unless you mean the one I’m here to ask Applejack.”
She flinches back. “You… you don’t remember?”
“No. When did I ask you anything? Actually, don’t answer that. Hey AJ, what’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?”
Applejack just lets out a longsuffering sigh before answering, “I dunno, Anon. What’s worse?”
“The ponycaust!”
Applejack just rolls her eyes and puts one of her front legs around Fluttershy’s shoulders, leading her home.
“God, everyone’s a critic. Well, see you later, Twilight!”
“But I have the answer to your question!”
“Don’t care. You should get back to town soon; it’s gonna rain in a few minutes.”
You are already a few feet away at that point, calling back over your shoulder. She just sags down as you continue walking.
Not that you notice, of course. You’re bored again.
Maybe you’d go talk to Rarity and convince her that pop tart outfits are in and offer to get Rainbow Dash to try one out for her.
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I enjoyed it. 10/10, Whatmustido.
HA twilight over-reacts to everything!
that's why she's my fav pony
Hue.
Oh, you're so mean to Twilight. I loved it.
Also, holy hell, Twilight figured out the answer!
Nice one shot buddy.
This looks interesting...
OMG that ending!!!
God you're a dick... absolutely hilarious, but still. Twilight Might deserve it though... maybe.
Dare I even ask?
I would've loved if you cooked the question in her mind even more, it would be awesome. But hey, I'm not writing or helping make it so what opinion do I have?
Good chapter, I don't care anything for anyone and I still was able to laugh, you go whatmustido!
...not even Equestria is safe from the devious powers of Anonymous!!! Well, considering the Brony part of the fandom supposedly came from 4chan, it's hardly surprising. Am I right?!
as always you bring the lulz Whatmustido
That description made me think of the Irken Empire...
and no one is around, does anyone give a fuck?
2617931
http://www.fimfiction.net/group/1271/anonymous-in-equestria
Are you serious? Second person narration and naming the character Anon?
Are you trying to be as cliché as possible? Why did I not check which groups this story belongs to...?
The plot doesn't make any sense whatsoever (and not the good kind of nonsense), and the main character we're supposed to be experiencing this through is... well, trying to put me in that character's shoes is insulting. This was supposed to be funny, but instead, it's just unpleasant. Trixie and Gilda were more pleasant than this guy, and they were run out of town. Why have they not beaten the crap out of this guy?
If the character was Discord, this story would've made a lot more sense. I'd expect that sort of thing out of him.
I cannot for the life of me understand how this story has so many upvotes. The thought that people find this sort of thing amusing makes me lose a little faith in humanity.
2618214 I made my statement knowing full well that it would not be popular. Like I indicated, I didn't notice the groups list until after I had tried to read it. I've learned from this that I should probably try to check that from now on. I do not like second-person viewpoints and I do not like protagonists who are this jerkish. As for Trixie and Gilda, "run out of town" was a bit of an exaggeration for dramatic effect. I didn't say they were pleasant, I said they were more pleasant than this guy. They are not pleasant at all, and that's the point I was trying to make.
It's not irony, it's my point being missed. I wasn't talking about the anon, I was talking about the readers. Come to think of it, I probably should have left that part out. Instead, I let myself get caught up in the moment. When I'm on a roll with a rant, I'm often as passionate as Rarity when she discusses fashion, and this isn't the first time that passion has come back to bite me in the pants.
What it all boils down to is the fact that I just don't get it. I don't understand the humor in this. I can't seem to wrap my head around it.
2617469 Go home Bolding, you're drunk.
What if the trees in a quantum forest, the tree both falls and not falls! Tell that to Twilight
2617687 .......I havn't even read the story and I'm thinking....'DATT FFAAACCEEEEE *uncontrollable Jupiter-shattering laughter*'
Thank you.
261937
we lost the snacks! Abandon ship!!!
2619372 Bro...I know we know we're talking to ourself.....but that should have been the reaction to our reaction....MUAHHHHAHAHAHAHA
2619389 NOOOOOOOoOOoooOOOooO ....... ABANDON DA SHIP!! EVERYPONY OVERBOARD....*ship racks with a giant boom, and a trollface appears with a particular line underneath it. "THE SNACKS ARE A LIE"*
And Molestia says.... "I know."
... What was the answer? WHAT WAS THE ANSWER!?! I must know... I must know... Well, Twilight knows. I suppose finding out is simple enough: Build a device that allows me to travel between alternate realities so I can find the mlp universe, find Ponyville, explain my presence, find Twilight, befriend her, bang her, then ask her the question... It is the only way. At least it isn't complicated.
2621060
I already know the answer.
According to science, if nobody is there to hear a sound (And I mean nobody AT ALL, not even teeny-tiny insects and organisms), it is not a sound.
So, no. If a tree falls in the forest and absolutely nothing can hear it, it does not make a sound.
2622064 ... Well.
That is an intersting question, that all depends on the DEFINITON of sound... if we say that sound is the vibration of air molecules, then the answer is, YES, it does make a sound even if no one is there to hear it. On the other hand, if we say that vibrations don't turn into sound until it interacts with an eardrum and is transofrmed into signals that the brain interprets as noise, then the answer is NO, it does not.
If you whisper really low to the point that nobody can hear you but yourself, then you're still making sound. Thus, I believe the answer is yes; just because nobody hears it does not mean that it isn't there.
Anonymous is a total dick and it was funny, but I could definitely sense a little bit of Navarone in there. I almost instantly equated this anonymous to Navarone if he decided to be any more of a prick. You seem to be able to write a good twilight freakout, as seen on multiple occasions in DoaM, so good job on this story too.
(10/10, would read again.)
-Mis
2617037 Saturation.
2622064 Fuck that shit, we want Twilight's "Magic-based" answer, not science!
This was a fun little read :3. I'm curious as to what Twilight's magical answer would have been tho
need more >green
3193051
http://pastebin.com/9Hd97Pkk
I started for the retard-Twilight, but finished for the lulz...
Also the answer is: really small rocks.
Of course it makes a sound even if no one hears it. This is one of those questions where the obvious answer has been starring us in the face for years, and no one saw the answer to it, similar to questions like, "Were numbers invented, or discovered?", or "Which came first, the chicken or egg?" or "Is the glass half full or half empty?" These seemingly impossible questions with obvious answers have been around forever, and they will still be around. And yes, I know the correct answers to all 3 of those questions I mentioned.
3463927
1: Unknown; doubt that one will ever be answered...unless you're of the christian faith: if you are, then God gave man the knowledge of numbers and math when he created them, though they had to work out the complex things themselves.
2: This one also depends on your beliefs: if you're an evolutionist, then the egg came first, laid by the chicken's pre-evolutionary ancestor. If you're a creationist, then the chicken came first through creation.
3: All a matter of perspective. Here are the four most common answers:
- "The cup is half-full!"
- "The Cup is half-empty..." 
- "What's a cup?"
- "Hey, I ordered a beer!"
1
2
3
4
3464230
No actually:
1: Numbers were invented, but AMOUNTS were discovered. Before numbers existed, ancient people used tokens, like stones, to keep track of how many of something they had. For example, if they were herding 12 sheep, the herder would keep 12 stones on him, one for each sheep. Eventually, symbols were needed to express the amounts rather than tokens, whether they be spoken or written. These symbols became the first numbers.
2: Evolution is not an opinion or point of view. It is testable, provable science. So it is correct is understanding that it was the egg that came first, while the creature that laid the egg was what existed one mutation prior to what we consider to be a chicken.
3: This one was definitely the hardest to see the answer to. The truth is that the cup is half full or half empty depending on what happened to it last to get it onto that state. If the glass was filled up half way from being empty, then it is half full. If it is filled to the brim, then half of it is drained away,then it is half empty. It all depends on what happened last to it. Even if it starts empty, then is filled up half way, then just one drop is removed from it, it is half empty.
3464289 It's still the theory of evolution, not the law of evolution. Just sayan!
3464802
Then you clearly do not know what the word "theory" means in the scientific community. Science does not prove anything, rather scientists form a theory, then find evidence that will either support, or undermine that theory. There is overwhelming evidence in support of the theory of evolution, not only that, but doctors use evolution to our advantage all the time. Have you ever had a vaccination? Those use the evolution of your immune system to your advantage by guiding the mutations of your T-cells to resist a new virus.
Anon is a dick. But we all know this.
I laughed to hard during some parts of this story.
3465463 However, Evolution IS still a theory. It is not proven, but it works well enough that everyone uses it. Hell, even Gravity is just a theory...
3515745
Of course evolution has been proven. Mankind has unlocked the world of genetics with the human genome project. This claim that "evolution cannot be proven" is rhetorical nonsense. In our own DNA, we have found all the information we need to prove that we did indeed descend from a species of great ape, and that our second chromosome pair used to be made up of two different chromosomes before they fused together to become one, which was the reason we know that we do indeed share a common ancestor with the current day chimpanzee.
And in case you didn't know, the word proof means something different for scientists than it does for the general populace. For example, scientists would say that it has been proven that you cannot comb a hairy banana, because proof is a mathematics term in the scientific community. For the general populace who are not scientists, the word proof would be used to describe what we know about evolution, gravity, electromagnetism, etc.
3516009 I did not say that it cannot be proven, but it IS still just a theory.
It is not proven yet, but there IS overwhelming evidence. You cannot say that it is proven until we successfully create a time machine and look back on history.
3464230
i think a better one for the half-empty is one of these
3599620 I was going for the grouchy output on life.
I don't know why, but re-reading this, Twilight seems...depressed...and I get that feeling of sadness emanating from her...That gives me an idea...
3464230 Theirs always the response letter
Dear Pessimist,
You win. You win because whilst you and Optimist were arguing about the glass of water, I drank it, rendering the glass empty
-sincerely The Opportunist
And then theirs the fact that given you were previously filling it or draining it makes it so if you were draining it would be half way emptied, and if you were filling it to get halfway it would be half filled.
3463927 In all technicality, the answer is no, because it is only sound when interpreted that way, thus the need for someone to observe the sound. Up until someone actually hears the sound it is nothing but compression waves in the air.
you were right
this was awesome!
3659529
Okay, that'll work.
3518374
this mainly depend of where you live.
Here in france, this isn't a theory, it's seen as a known fact, as proven as the earth not being flat.
(no i'm not saying bullshit like "france > america", i'm just giving example)