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DawnFade

Joined December 2011
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There is a dark tale behind the 'Love Poison' that very few know.

A lovely Princess and a lovestruck Prince.

How did things go so horribly wrong?

DRAMATIC READING BY STATOOSE:

YOUTUBE

First Published
16th Feb 2012
Last Modified
22nd Apr 2012

Comments ( 47 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 114w, 2d ago · · ·

Looking good so far.  The fourth-wall-break-ish part really got me.  Very nice.

And just because I feel like sharing, here's what I used for mood music while reading this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fy9UFdEijc

#2 · Chapter 2 · 114w, 2d ago · · ·

>>215980

Thank you :D

That music fits pretty well, in my opinion.

#3 · Chapter 2 · 114w, 2d ago · · ·

I enjoyed the journal-entry style.  Just a personal nitpick, I didn't like how Harrowed Crown's personality was depicted, but again, that's just me.  For what this is, it is very well done.  The subtlet change in his's journal entries - becoming more rushed-sounding - towards the end was a nice touch.

The way it ends rather suddenly works quite well.  It lets the reader put everything together in their head, making the impact stronger.

#4 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Oh you posted it now, very nice. Glad you took my suggestions. I'm really looking forward to the rest of the story! Keep up the good work Dawn.

#5 · Chapter 2 · 113w, 6d ago · · ·

Looks very promising! I'll definitely track this.

#6 · Chapter 3 · 113w, 3d ago · · ·

Loving the story so far Dawn, this really should have more views since nobody else has seemed to explore this back-story yet. Sent you my edits and such via PM. Good luck with next chapter.

#7 · Chapter 3 · 113w, 2d ago · · ·

Hey Dawn, sorry I couldn't get to read this sooner, I kinda didn't have my laptop with me and I'm still getting used to my new phone (which has internet now!), but luckily I did not spot any grammar mistakes :D

Cool chapter, and I think I'm taking a hint that Harrowed killed the guard for trying to interfere seeing as his journal stops right there.  This is becoming VERY interesting, I love this!

#8 · Chapter 4 · 113w, 8h ago · · ·

In the fourth paragraph/ first of the actual hournal get rid of was and you're good!  Awesome chapter btwi

#9 · Chapter 4 · 113w, 8h ago · · ·

>>246588

Fixed, and thank you! :D

#10 · Chapter 1 · 112w, 3d ago · · ·

This is going to be interesting. I'm watching this.

#11 · Chapter 5 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

God damn, you don't need me anymore!  This is like, 3 chapters of different stories where I haven't found any grammatical errors lol.  God, I love this chapter so much though.  This story deserves so much more recognition!

#12 · Chapter 5 · 111w, 4d ago · · ·

>>283041

Woo! Getting better at not making mistakes :D

Thanks, I do wish it had more readers but I'll get over it.

#13 · Chapter 5 · 110w, 2d ago · · ·

what can i say about this story?

it's captivating as much as it is well written, and Chirpy Hooves' diary was really heartbreaking.

Keep writing, you're incredibly good at it, actually i dare say you're among the best writers here on fimfiction.

#14 · Chapter 5 · 110w, 2d ago · · ·

>>315243

Wow, really? That's a pretty massive compliment, thank you!

I'm glad you're enjoying my work :)

#15 · Chapter 6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

Good God, i love this story man.  Didn't spot any errors, just like usual.  Keep it up, Mr. Writer Overlord!

#16 · Chapter 6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>332463

Thanks for checking man! The story is only as good as the people who edit it :)

Only one more chapter and the epilogue to go.

#17 · Chapter 6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>332474 Mixed reaction to there being a chapter and epilogue to go.

:yay: yay more

:flutterrage: NOOO THERE ISN'T MUCH LEFT!

:applejackconfused: Why must your writing be so awesome?

#18 · Chapter 6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>332592

I love knowing you're enjoying it so much! Hopefully the last parts will surpass your expectations :)

#19 · Chapter 6 · 109w, 4d ago · · ·

>>332862 :yay:

Stories like these drive me away from my own writing. :facehoof:

#21 · Chapter 6 · 108w, 2d ago · · ·

An awesome story I wish I had the talent to equal.

#22 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

I was a little bit disappointed in the shortness, but oh well :twilightsmile:

KEEP WRITING!

#23 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381650

Heh, sorry. This chapter was always going to be shorter than the others since it's only one entry.

Only the epilogue to go now!

#24 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381714 Oh okay.

ONLY AN EPILOGUE! :pinkiegasp:

Damn, I want more. Can't have too much more. :applecry:

:fluttercry:

#25 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381737

I'm sorry! D:

Every story has to end eventually.

#26 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381822 Yeah. Write more stories! NOW. :flutterrage::twilightsmile:

#27 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381828

Yes ma'am right away ma'am

#28 · Chapter 7 · 107w, 6d ago · · ·

>>381836 Why thank you kindly, good sir/madam.

Have a moustache. :moustache:

#29 · Chapter 8 · 104w, 3d ago · · ·

Figures he'd take the easy way out. :twilightangry2::flutterrage:

#31 · Chapter 8 · 104w, 2d ago · · ·

>>483134

Thank you very much for sticking with it despite the long gaps between updates.

I'm glad you liked it :D

#32 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

:unsuresweetie: Are you serious? This is so short!

:pinkiehappy: Just kidding. It was awesome. To bad it had to end

#33 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

Absolutely amazing.:rainbowkiss:

#35 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

are ther going to be any more chapters kind of ended on a cliffhanger there but good story though

#36 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

So, so very good! Having a story behind the Love Poison is amazing, and having extra cool stuff in there, like Ditzy's ancestry and other stuff, is just great.

Wait, it was about Love Poison, right?

#37 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

>>528252

Of course :)

#38 · Chapter 8 · 103w, 1d ago · · ·

The first time I was presented this story, I did try to read it but then I saw the length of the chapters.

From the description, it seemed like a good story, but the chapters were simply too small for me to wait weeks just for half a k words. So I waited and, now that this is complete, I have read it in one single go. And I'm glad I did.

The story is very interesting and I like how it just transpires 'Equestrian Mythology'. I know the show itself has a lot of plotholes, but if you take this here story into consideration, then nopony in their sane mind would put the recipe for such potion on a easy-to-get book, but I digress.

One thing, though; Mystery. The story, although beautifully written and with a good plot, is not mysterious at all. You may catch yourself thinking about what would happen next, but that only lasts for a fickle second before one presses the "Next Chapter" button. For a story told by documents that belonged to several ponies, this story is awfully complete; the readers aren't left with anything to mull over after it ends. The only single piece of information that we don't have is Princess Poysun's fate. I mean- I know she is dead; but how did she die and why Harrowed Crown still lives?

Points that I very much enjoyed: Derpy's family origins (even though it was explicitly stated {to me, at least}) and the "mystery" surrounding the Princess Poysun.

Thumbs up. This is really good.

#39 · Chapter 5 · 100w, 4d ago · · ·

SO WONDERFUL!!!!! these characters are really hitting me in the heart....:raritycry::raritycry:

#40 · Chapter 8 · 100w, 4d ago · · ·

IM NOT CRYING MY ASS OFF!!!!!! :raritycry:

#41 · Chapter 8 · 99w, 1d ago · · ·

Fittingly, I loved this to death.

Favorited.

Thank you.

#42 · Chapter 8 · 86w, 4d ago · · ·

This is truly a masterpiece. You took no more than a paragraph from one tiny scene in one measly episode and turned it into this epic tale. Well done, good sir. Fantastic work.

#43 · Chapter 8 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Those are remarkably short chapters you've got there.

#44 · Chapter 2 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

This prince seems like a nice guy. He'd be a good king, I can tell.

I wonder if we'll get some more insight into why Tia/Luna feels this is necessary?

#45 · Chapter 3 · 48w, 4d ago · · ·

Poison? That's an ominous name to have.

I wish that Harrowed had bothered to record the coat color of the mysterious hooded pony. I'd rather like to know whether Tia is sabotaging her own offer as part of some complex scheme.

#46 · Chapter 8 · 30w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

I really enjoyed this story. I like how each chapter is written in another character's perspective and, though brief, the chapters fit perfectly into that fine line between telling us too little and telling us too much. The story meshes together very well: giving us hints and implications without explaining to us exactly what happens.

#47 · Chapter 8 · 30w, 3d ago · · ·

>>3240717

Thank you! I'm glad even my older stuff is still able to entertain.

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