Story
Thirteen Days.
Fluttershy lay on her couch, letting out a deep sigh. She thought back to the number of days since Twilight botched that spell—the accursed spell that changed her and her friends' destinies. As that day went on, every single one of them had completely failed in the new task that they had assumed was their special talent. Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and the others did their best, but found out quickly that something terrible occured. The implications of what would have happened if the crisis had gone on any longer sent trembles through Fluttershy. Only the timely intervention of a true, true friend helped them all see the light.
To think that at the very moment Twilight figured out how to fix the entire catastrophe, Ponyville was already well on its way to becoming a ruined wasteland. Rarity had nearly destroyed the surrounding ecosystem, Pinkie had destroyed the apple orchards, Applejack had destroyed fashion in every imaginable way, and Rainbow had destroyed the short-term psychological health of all of Fluttershy's animal friends. Yet, with all of those things, Fluttershy’s thoughts lingered on something else far more.
Fluttershy’s decision to leave Ponyville forever and move back in with her parents in Cloudsdale was the thing that caused Fluttershy the most pain. The implications of what would have happened if she had decided to leave moments earlier and Twilight did not save her caused more than one frantic bout of pacing and whimpering from her. Thankfully, that “what if” never came to pass, and Twilight instead fixed the problem before it got there.
Indeed, the storm dissipated and the sun above shone with all of its radiance. While there were still the few pieces to pick up here and there for all of them, everything slowly returned to normal, and everypony returned to their lives as normally as they possibly could. Granted, Twilight’s ascension to royalty still left her confused and disoriented, but otherwise everypony was back to their normal life.
All but one at least.
Fluttershy let out another sigh as she cast her eyes toward the floorboards below, inspecting the grains in the planks of wood. Ever since that day, her mouth never had the desire to turn into a smile. It wasn't because of how Rainbow treated her animal friends or how Rarity ruined the homes of many of her animal neighbors, though those did leave a sour taste in her mouth. Those things were fixable and already repairs were made, with homes being rebuilt and the animals getting some much-needed relaxation. Instead, something else entirely drove the sides of her lips south.
Fluttershy couldn't tell her friends what worried her though. She was certain that they would only tell her that she was being foolish for feeling this way, and she needed to get out of the house and just have fun. That always became their solution for all of the problems that worried her. Sure, when Rainbow did come around and say those things, she definitely made sure to follow through and make sure Fluttershy smiled for days on end. Thoughts of when Rainbow apologized for the whole yelling at her about climbing the dragon's mountain, then immediately agreeing to go watch the butterfly migration in particular warmed her heart.
Yet those little bouts were not the same as what flowed through her mind today. Those were more little stints that were caused by events or simple things. Those sort of occurrences were forgettable and were easily pushed through. This particular thing tore at Fluttershy's soul and resonated deep within her, forcing her to take a step back and wonder...
Do I really matter?
Or at least, did she really matter to her friends? Not just the small group she had grown to love and appreciate, but to the rest of the ponies in the town? She knew that the animal friends she cared for day in and day out considered her the most important things in their lives, but what about the friends outside of her cottage? Was she able to be the friend that she wanted to be for all of them?
Signs pointed to no.
A little tuft of white caught her eye, drawing her gaze away from the floorboards. Looking over to see the object, she laid her eyes upon the sad face of little Angel Bunny. Fluttershy forced a smile on her face as she reached out slightly, letting one of her forelegs hang down from the edge of the couch. “Hello, Angel. Are you hungry?”
Angel hopped over to where Fluttershy's hoof hung limply and held it against his warm chest. Again he looked up, giving her a pair of misted-over eyes as he stroked her hoof with a paw.
Fluttershy sighed and let her pained smile fall. “I know, Angel. I do want to feel happy again. It's just... I don't know...”
When Angel frowned even deeper and settled his head on her hoof, it broke her heart a little bit. It wasn't fair to be this down around him—her mood weighted his down as well—but what could she do? Like her smile, she couldn’t force her happiness just because she wanted to. Doing so would just be a dirty lie that nopony would believe.
Sighing again, Fluttershy looked back up at the calender and counted the days. Thirteen. It had been thirteen days since that terrible day. Something about that number that just rang hollow with Fluttershy. Day twelve passed uneventfully and she was certain that day fourteen would be meaningless. What about thirteen that irked her so much?
Maybe because it's as lucky as I am...
Looking back down, Fluttershy used her other hoof to rub Angel’s back. “I wish I knew what I could do to fix everything, Angel, but I just... I just don't know. I mean, how can I change what is me on a whim? How can I just—”
A sudden knock at the door forced an “eep” from her lungs. In that instant, all of her muscles tightened in her forelegs, tossing poor Angel into the air at a mile a minute. Despite his tumble, Angel managed to land firmly onto his rump. Still, even with the somewhat graceful landing, he was still thrown backwards, rolling to a stop when he hit the back wall.
“Angel Bunny!” Fluttershy whispered to him, her eyes the size of dinner plates. “Are you alright!?”
He rubbed his head for a few seconds until giving a quick thumbs up.
Fluttershy exhaled softly before continuing. “Thank goodness. Umm… could you please see who it is and... umm... send them away then? Please?”
Angel gave a quick nod, turned tail, and hopping toward the doorway across the room. Despite the height of the windowsill, Angel flipped and hopped his way up to the nearby bookcase, dove onto the nearby lamp, and back onto the bookcase. It only took one more diving leap before his paws planted themselves firmly onto the windowsill.
Fluttershy watched as he peered outside. Immediately upon looking out the window, he whirled around and frantically waved his arms in the air. As Angel completely lost it, Fluttershy felt her belly do a quick flip. “Angel, who's at the door?” Fluttershy uttered in the faintest voice.
Angel scratched his head for a second before quickly messing up the hair on the top of his head, getting on all fours, and hopping along the top of the bookshelf with little bounces. After a few seconds of bouncing around like this, he reached his front paws behind him and threw them out in a tossing motion.
Fluttershy scrunched up her brows in response. “I… I don’t know what you’re saying, Angel.”
Rubbing his chin, Angel looked around the room for a few seconds until his eyes lit up. He brought his paws to his mouth and with deep breaths, blew in between them. After a few puffs, he jumbled his paws up randomly, then placed his paws onto his thigh.
Fluttershy’s head now cocked to the side. “I don’t… well... don't answer the door then. I'm not here.”
Angel Bunny nodded, and was in mid hop off of the windowsill when he suddenly stopped. Fluttershy watched as he stood still for a few seconds, looking back and forth between her and the doorway. Fluttershy shakily whispered, “Wh... what's wrong, Angel?”
Without another hint of warning, Angel leaped over, unlatched the lock, opened the door, and revealed the worst possible visitor of anypony that could have come in.
“Hiya, Fluttershy!” Pinkie cheered as she hopped into the room, a set of saddlebags adorning her sides.
I'm never giving Angel another carrot as long as he lives.
“Oh... umm... hi, Pinkie,” Fluttershy replied as she hid behind her pink security blanket. Even with her mane covering her face, she shot daggers at Angel, who was quickly making his way up the stairs. Whether or not the retreating bunny was aware of her glare, Fluttershy didn't know. “Why are you here?”
Pinkie did a quick skip, grabbed the door with her tail, and closed it behind her. “Well, I had a nice little batch of cupcakes that I made, and I realized I hadn't seen you in a few days, so I decided to say hi to my Flutter-butter!”
Wincing at the nickname, Fluttershy continued to keep her eyes behind her veil. “Um... Pinkie, don't you have work today?”
“Well I did, but I really really missed you and I really really needed to give you these cupcakes, so I really really had to come over!” Pinkie did another little hop as she approached Fluttershy. “Sure, Mr. Cake didn't want to let me have the day off, but I just reminded him about my seven months of vacation time I have built up, and he came around!”
Fluttershy’s mouth gaped open. “Oh... well... um,” she mumbled, her mind fumbling over words.
Pinkie bounced extra high, flipping through the air before landing with a crash on the couch next to Fluttershy. Pinkie dexterously reached into her saddlebags with her teeth and quickly pulled out a plate of food. “Wanth a cupcake? I broughth a bunch!”
Fluttershy looked at the cupcakes, or at least the mushed heap that used to be cupcakes, and shook her head. “I... thank you, Pinkie, but I'm not that hungry.”
Still not letting the plate fall from her teeth, Pinkie smiled even wider as she leaned forward. “Shilly! You don’th have to be hungry toth eath cupcakes!”
Feeling the heat of Pinkie's breath on her nose, Fluttershy scooted closer to the other side of the couch. “Pinkie, trust me, I'm alright.”
Pinkie paused for a second, still looking at her, then shrugged and placed the sugary pile on the coffee table. “Well, alright!”
Looking down at the floor, Fluttershy sighed as a weight lifted off of her shoulders. Good, now all I have to do is—
“So, why haven't you shown your pretty little face around town, Flutter-butter?”
That weight came crashing back down. “Umm... I... uh... just don’t want to go out.”
Fluttershy expected the typical cheerful Pinkie reply, but after ten seconds with nothing but silence from the other side of the couch, she began to suspect something was amiss. Still, she kept her eyes to the ground, but the urge to chance a glance to her right for a hint of what her friend was feeling started to well within her. Yet, despite this, she found herself shaking with the pressure that came with not knowing. Trying to be covert, Fluttershy quickly stole a look at Pinkie's face.
As Fluttershy expected, Pinkie's brows were scrunched and her lips pursed.
“Are you suuuuuure that's the reason?” Pinkie immediately replied, coming slightly closer to her.
Fluttershy paused for a second, then quickly nodded.
“Well, your wings say that you're hiding something.”
Stupid wings.
Fluttershy took a few breaths to try and relax the twitching and agitated wings, with limited success. “Well... umm... I’d rather not talk about it.”
“Well... if you don't to talk about it...” Pinkie reached into her pack once more and yanked out a few sheets of crumpled paper. “Wanna origami?”
Just like earlier, Fluttershy found herself sliding to the other side of the couch, her body colliding with the armrest. “N-no. No thank you.”
“Alright!” Pinkie set the ball of paper next to the plate of ruined cupcakes before she stared right into Fluttershy's soul with a smile. “Then tell! It's best to tell your friends these things!”
Fluttershy shook her head. “You... you wouldn't understand.”
Pinkie scooted herself over to the retreating Fluttershy. “Did you get in a fight with Dashie again?”
Again, Fluttershy shook her head. “N-no.”
“Did you forget to feed Angel, and now he's being a poopy pants?”
Another reply, another shake of the head. “No.”
“Did you find out your sister is getting married to a griffon?”
“I... I don't have a sister...”
“Are you upset about what happened when Twilight changed our destinies?”
“...Umm... I umm... no...”
“Oh, silly filly!” Pinkie leaped forward and smothered Fluttershy with a pair of forelegs around her shoulders. “You shouldn't be upset about that! Everything's all fixed now!”
Yeah, right.
Fluttershy couldn't help but fidget under the immense weight of the pink. “Umm... alright... well... I feel better already. Thanks, Pinkie.”
Pinkie continued to inspect Fluttershy's eyes until she let go of her with one foreleg. Reaching to her saddlebags yet again, Pinkie presented a knotted mess of a rope to her with a forehoof. “Then how about we go jump roping!”
With a quick roll of the shoulders, Fluttershy escaped from the excited mare's grip and hopped off of the couch. “N-no. That's alright. Really. I just had lunch, and I don't want to make my tummy sore with all that jumping.”
Pinkie spat the jump rope to the coffee table and stood up as well. “What's wrong, Fluttershy? You still feeling all loopy doopy? I'm sure Twi-Twi could fix that loco cabeza if you need it.”
Fluttershy took a few steps back. “No. That's alright, I—”
“I mean, I know I was still feeling really silly after she 'fixed us'.” Pinkie rolled her eyes as she kept pace with Fluttershy. “I mean, I can't tell you how many apple pies I made last week! Why, I think I used every single apple in town making those things!”
Fluttershy kept stumbling backwards. “Pinkie, you wouldn't under—”
“Of course I'd understand!” Pinkie sped up, getting closer to Fluttershy. “I went through the same thing you did and failed just as bad!”
Failed.
A strange feeling from deep within Fluttershy began smoldering, but she bit it back. “Pinkie, you really wouldn't—”
“Come on Fluttershy! Just tell me!”
Fluttershy bumped up against the back wall of her house, finding herself trapped. However, she also found her teeth grinding against one another behind her closed lips as she looked at the accursed pony in front of her. “Pinkie, please don't try and tell me you understand what I went through. Ever.”
Pinkie stared at Fluttershy, her eyes searching for something. If Pinkie was looking for any friendship or happiness, or maybe even forgiveness, she would be sorely disappointed. The feeling that Fluttershy was beginning to be overwhelmed with was now teetering on an edge of a cliff, Fluttershy’s teeth grinding harder and faster. She could practically feel the heat coming off of her cheeks and ears.
Studying Fluttershy for a few more seconds, Pinkie reached into her pack once more and put on a pair of pranking glasses. “Wanna go mess with some ponies then?”
As soon as she caught sight of those glasses, Fluttershy's world went red. “Will you just stop it!” Fluttershy screamed. Her yell blasted Pinkie, sending her reeling back. “You don't you get it! Huh!?”
Pinkie tried to get back to her hooves, but was too busy stumbling to really catch her balance. “Umm... I... uhh...”
“Of course not! You never get it! All of those little things that you and the girls were upset about were jobs! Jobs, jobs, jobs!” Fluttershy walked faster, her wings instinctually flared as wide as possible. “That's all they were to all of you! Simple skills that you hadn't learned before! Skills that just anypony wouldn't know how to do! Guess what's bad about that!”
“I... uhh... they don't taste good?”
Idiot.
“No!” Fluttershy lunged forward, forcing Pinkie to trip over the coffee table, though she somehow stayed on her hooves. “While you were lamenting about how you couldn't fix a stupid storm drain, I was doing my very best to simply make ponies smile! Smile! Do you realize how simple that should be!?”
“Umm... easy peasy?”
“Stupid easy!” Fluttershy shouted. “All I was trying to do was get ponies to laugh. Smile. Giggle. Smirk. Grin. Something! Anything to make them feel good! Did I succeed!?”
“Umm... I don't—”
“Of course not! Instead of getting smiles like anypony else in all of Equestria would be able to, they all stood there like I was a fool—because I was a fool! I couldn't get anypony to laugh at all, regardless of anything I could think of! Even Spike was able to get them to laugh, and all he did was put on some glasses like those and dance around like an idiot! Do you know how it feels to not be able to make ponies happy!? Huh!?”
Pinkie stopped stumbling back, and simply stood as still as a statue—that terrible and ugly set of glasses sitting on her snout, mocking Fluttershy.
“And I don't want to go pranking!” Fluttershy screamed, throwing a forehoof at the glasses. Her aim was anything but true, and instead of smacking the glasses off of Pinkie's nose, she smacked Pinkie's mouth instead. The glasses flew from Pinkie's face, falling to the wooden floor, broken in two. Further, with a tiny squeak, Pinkie quickly fell to the floor as well.
Despite the glare still upon Fluttershy's face, she couldn't help but to feel a small wave of regret wash over her for just a brief moment. Yet, the sensation to make Pinkie hurt more tasted so much more satisfying. So instead of stopping, she swallowed the tiny lump in her throat and proceeded to shatter whatever was left of their friendship. “Well!? Do you understand!? Huh!?”
Pinkie slowly picked herself back up into a sitting position, but kept herself facing away from her assailant. A few moments later, the quietest voice possible entered Fluttershy's ears. “Yes.”
“Liar!” Fluttershy screamed into Pinkie's ear, causing a heavy flinch from the slumped body of her former friend. “The entire time you’ve lived here, you've been nothing but giggles! Giggles, laughter, and foolish insanity! How could you possibly understand!?”
Pinkie said nothing. Instead, she merely quivered on the floor.
Fluttershy stamped her forehoof in the ground. “Well!?”
There was a momentary pause in the quivering of her shoulders before Pinkie finally spoke up in the quietest voice. “Two years ago, when I forgot that it was my birthday, I thought you girls didn't think I was funny anymore. Because of that, I thought that you girls didn't want to be my friend anymore. I... I didn't take the news very well. Remember?”
“Of course I remember,” Fluttershy growled as she sat down on the ground. Whether because of the screaming earlier or because of the dominant position she held over Pinkie, Fluttershy felt her anger slowly fading, being replaced with... something. She couldn't pinpoint for sure what, but she still felt that she needed to be angry. “You were really mad at us and almost ruined your own birthday party. Rainbow had to trick you to get you over there.”
A single, dark chuckle escaped Pinkie's slumped body. As a few drops of ruby red fell from Pinkie’s face, she continued. “That's the story that I made Dashie tell you girls, but that isn't what happened.”
Those words sent Fluttershy's ears swiveling forward. “What happened?”
Pinkie rubbed her eyes and mouth, and then continued. “Instead of being really mad, I was more... umm... as Dashie put it: 'crazy.' I had put all of these things like rocks and turnips and buckets all over the room, and started imagining that they were my new friends. Not imaginary friends, but real, living ponies that I thought were actually talking to me. I know it sounds super silly to think that, but to me, they would never leave me. Never.
“That's one reason why I came here today.” Pinkie took a deep breath, then softly released it. “I was scared you didn't want to be my friend anymore.”
“Pinkie.” Fluttershy sighed as she scoot over closer to the mare—ever mindful to avoid the pieces of the pranking glasses. Even though her cheeks still burned and her heart still raced from before, she brushed her side slightly next to Pinkie's and continued. “I'm still your friend. I—”
“Are you?” Pinkie's voice stopped the thought as she turned her head to face Fluttershy. Fluttershy's heart stopped for a moment as she felt her breath leave her completely. Pinkie's pearly white teeth were now coated with a red stain, while several streams of maroon streaked down her chin, matting the hair that they had fallen upon. Those streams joined with the flowing tears that fell from her eyes. “What kind of pony does this sort of thing to her friend?”
“I didn't... I mean... I...”
Stupid Fluttershy.
“I decided to come and find you after I hadn't seen you for so long,” Pinkie frantically said, her eyes darting from side to side rapidly. “Except when I found you, you were acting sad and mopey, kinda like I was just before I went loony in the head. So I decided to try and do what Dashie did with me and make you feel better and get out out of your house, whether you wanted to or not.
“But when it came to actually helping you out, I didn't know what to do! I know how to make ponies laugh and smile, but you weren't smiling, no matter what I did! All I knew was that you weren't happy, and that what I was doing wasn't working, so maybe if I pushed it, you would tell me what was happening, and that would fix things. But that didn't work either! I... I...”
Pinkie finally collapsed to the floor, and cast her eyes downward to the glasses below. “I'm just not smart or tough like Dashie though. I'm just... me.”
Fluttershy followed Pinkie to the ground, careful to keep the constant contact between the two. “And it is every little bit of you that makes us friends, Pinkie.” Fluttershy smiled gently as she went to brush a little bit of that pink mane out from Pinkie's face.
Except when she tried just that, Pinkie recoiled with a short gasp and wince. Any anger left in Fluttershy's heart blew away by the wide eyes that stared right back at her. They were the same eyes that were worn by the injured animals that she sometimes brought back to her cottage. They were still so very scared of the traumatizing moments that had caused the injuries in the first place, and only with the longest of time and the most nurturing of care possible that they finally trusted Fluttershy enough to treat and feed them.
Yet Fluttershy didn't have days and weeks to gain back the trust she had smashed away. Instead, she had to try her very best to smooth things over right here. Right now.
“Pinkie,” Fluttershy whispered as gently as she could. “I... I'm really sorry about hitting you.”
Those azure orbs were still wide as she shakily shook her head. “No you aren't. Ponies who hit other ponies aren't sorry.”
“Yes they are, and yes I am.” Fluttershy chanced a few centemeters closer to Pinkie. Thankfully, Pinkie didn't pull away. “I was just mad and stupid and... I'm sorry.”
With that, the room went deathly silent. In this moment, Pinkie would either decide that the two of them were going to be alright and would be able to regain their friendship in time, or Pinkie would reject Fluttershy's attempt to repair the damage that she had done to their relationship and run away. Both were possibilities, with the latter one becoming more and more likely every second.
Finally, Pinkie turned her eyes back to Fluttershy, and the smallest glimmer of hope shone in her eyes. “Are you really?”
“Really.” Fluttershy looked down at her hooves. “I... I'm really sorry I hit you. I shouldn't ever do that to anypony, especially to a friend as close as you, and I'd understand if you don't forgive me.”
After a moment, Fluttershy felt a hoof on her downcast chin and her head lifted up and over to the side. When that hoof finally stopped moving, Fluttershy found herself looking right back at Pinkie. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn't forgive you?”
The two ponies stared into each other's eyes until Fluttershy turned away and nudged Pinkie with a wing. “And trust me, you're smarter than Dashie. Way, way smarter. Umm... don't tell her I said that though.”
Pinkie let out a giggle. “If you say so, Shy-Shy.”
A few seconds passed until the two Fluttershy to finally look back at the coffee table and the ruined cupcakes upon it. “Sorry about the cupcakes. They looked... umm...”
“Yeah, I probably shouldn't have put them in my bag like that.” Pinkie got up and shrugged. “It's alright though, I can always make more later.”
Fluttershy got up, and with a twinge in her belly she scratched at the floor. “Umm... we could make some now... if you want.”
Pinkie's breath momentarally stopped before responding. “Oh, uhh... okay! You think you have everything here to make some?”
“Actually, Pinkie.” Fluttershy kept scratching the ground with her hoof, that buzzing in her belly still making it feel funny. “If you want, we could go back back to your place and... umm... make them there.”
Even with not looking at her, Fluttershy could feel Pinkie's head snap towards her, and look at her with a gaping mouth. “R... really?”
Fluttershy nodded.
“Really really?”
Fluttershy smiled and nodded again.
“Okie! Let's go!” Pinkie nearly zipped off in a flash, but paused mid-stride. Settling down, she looked back at Fluttershy, smiled, and simply started to walk to the front door.
Allowing the smile on her face to grow, Fluttershy followed Pinkie. Only taking the time to lock up behind her, Fluttershy walked alongside her friend back to Sugarcube Corner. Birds all around sang their melodies and harmonies with each other. The day shown down brightly, the warm air relaxed her mind, and the little droplets of the river sprinkled on her as she crossed her bridge. All in all, it was a glorious day.
Yet something still irked Fluttershy.
As Fluttershy crossed over the bridge outside of her house, she spoke just loud enough for Pinkie to hear. “Pinkie, I have a question.”
Pinkie pulled herself out of the river, and with a gurgle, spat out the water that she had in her mouth. Her teeth weren’t entirely clean, but at least it didn’t look like she had been socked in the face a few minutes ago. “Yes, Shy-Shy?”
“Why you?”
“Why me, what?”
Fluttershy closed her eyes. “Why did you come visit me? I mean, you said that one reason was because you were scared I wasn't your friend anymore, but what was the other reason?”
A quiet “Hmm” entered Fluttershy's ears. As Pinkie thought about her answer, or maybe just the best way to phrase it, the two ponies continued to make their way to Ponyville. It would be a short trip, but one that would still take a good ten minutes to make on hoof.
“Because... umm...” Pinkie looked at Fluttershy, and gave the most adorable and uncharacteristically small smile and blush that she had ever borne. “Your smile makes me smile.”
Fluttershy found herself blushing in kind to the words, yet, she couldn’t find anything to say in response. So instead, she found herself bringing her side slightly closer to Pinkie, and feeling a warmth in her chest that was but a void just seconds before. Pinkie smiled to herself, yet stayed silent as the two continued onward into town.
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My favorite parts are Fluttershy's internal monologues. For example
"I'm never giving Angel another carrot as long as he lives."
Made me laugh.
Sadly this is in character for Fluttershy if you use the episode where she went off on Pinkie before.
3177287
Some flankhole that trolls around on this site.
I really enjoyed it. It was very emotional and had some great dialogue. Nice job!
Whoops!
aww so cute but damn fluttershy has a temper but its a tad uncharacteristic of her to be that violent
This is barely recognizable as Fluttershy. If you hadn't added "um"s and ellipses to half the sentences, I would have thought you were talking about Gilda.
A lot of people are saying Flutters is OOC here, but I would disagree. Looking at the Gala episode, we can see that she definitely has the potential to be violent, and the Iron Will episode showed that she has an angry side. I think failing at something as simple as making ponies smile could definitely cause her to get depressed and even snap out in anger when she's being persistently bugged by Pinkie. Overall, I thought it was a great story, with expert storytelling and characterization.
3179497 It's not just the anger. it's also the passive-aggressive sarcasm. Furthermore, it just doesn't seem like something Fluttershy would pent up anger and hate. If she felt sad about that (and she has every reason to) she'd cry sooner than lash out. You have to earn an OOC moment by justifying the thought process of a character in prose, in a way you don't really have to in television. Yes, Fluttershy is capable of those moments when really, truly pressed (and there are many who think that Putting Your Hoof Down was just a terrible giant OOC moment for Fluttershy) but no, she doesn't just pull them out of nowhere when something upsets her.
I would also like to disagree with Fluttershy being OOC. Obviously she's pretty depressed over her lack of ability to make other ponies smile, and then out of nowhere the element of laughter comes and tries to make her happy. Obviously Fluttershy is going to hold a little resentment for Pinkie Pie considering how easy it is for her to make ponies laugh, and in Fluttershy's view it almost feels like Pinkie is taunting her by being her happy peppy self, and trying to make her smile. Add trapping Fluttershy against a wall, and wearing prank classes that bring up very bad memories, and I could see Fluttershy exploding in anger.
Also on a different note I thought the story did a very good job of bringing out emotions. I felt anger, sadness, and regret throughout as I was reading this. It had a few grammar and missing word issues here and there, but overall I liked it.
Very well written, but I must agree with the people saying that Fluttershy is out of character here. Not because she got angry, but because she got angry while she was depressed.
Notice that Fluttershy's canonical rage incidents both happened at times when she was feeling reasonably happy and self-confident. That's important. Getting angry requires self-confidence; you must be certain that whatever you're angry about is someone else's fault, and not something you caused yourself. Depression eats any anger that you might otherwise feel; if anything bad happens, it's entirely due to your own failings.
A more in-character response would be for Fluttershy to just lie on the couch throughout the whole incident, essentially ignoring Pinkie's presence. If Pinkie decided to physically drag her out of the house, Fluttershy would probably go along with whatever Pinkie wanted to do, but would be mopy and reluctant the entire time they were doing it.
It was an interesting take on the episode
And I do think Fluttershy was in character. She can be really angry and the story took tile to build it with Pinkie pie forcing herself on her.
In the end I do have to agree with the majority and say Fluttershy was somewhat OOC. All the same it isn't often I see Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy interaction in fics or even the show so I'll overlook that detail.
I really liked this, was a nice exploration of someone as introverted as 'Shy being subject to a situation where she had to be very extroverted and ultimately failing at it and the emotional fallout of such a situation.
I have seen others complain about 'Shy's anger being out of place, one saying such anger would require "self confidence" so being about being shy cannot be. To these however I say "bullshit" I've dealt with self confidence issues and I've managed to rage about my situation just as well. I think it's just people but hurt about 'Shy not being shy and being a little bit Flutterbitch.
One closing remark; consider changing the name. I've linked this to several friends, all of whom made a similar joke related to the title, one I admittedly thought of also. Just a suggestion is all.
This really hit me hard as I have been in a situation like Fluttershy before, I felt like an absolute failure and didn't want to see or speak to anyone.
I ended up lashing out at my girlfriend almost as hard as Fluttershy did towards Pinkie (I didn't hit my girlfriend, I punched the garage door instead. It had the same effect though) and it nearly cost us our relationship.
You did a great job conveying those feelings that are going on with Fluttershy and it actually seemed in character for her to act the way she did.
The only thing I have to complain about is the implied shipping that is occurring between Pinkie and Fluttershy, and inter-mane 6 shipping is something that I really don't like in the fanfics I read. And I also feel it could have been longer to give more of a build up/backstory to how Fluttershy started feeling this way.
Overall 8/10.
I very much enjoyed this. With the
and the
at
which made
and then
Fluttershy internalizes things until she hits a breaking point, so she isn't OOC. She does hit a breaking point in the series with Discord. He makes a fool out of her for an entire episode, and she removes the proposed friendship because of taking abuse to her kind nature. Fluttershy is taking this endless prodding to smile as harrassment, so she blows up.
Rage is usually hitting a breaking point, not being confident. I am not a self-confident person, but if I'm pushed continually I snap and act in anger.
Can't help but think the writing style deflates the emotions you were shooting for (I find heightened emotion needs a higher show:tell ratio), and Pinkie just didn't feel particularly Pinkie to me. I kinda wanted to smack her myself for being annoying, which may have killed my emotional investment.
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Ok, point taken. I was wrong about the depression and self-confidence thing. But Fluttershy's behavior still seems out-of-character.
After contemplating the story a bit more, I think the real problem is that Fluttershy is motivated by jealousy. When has Fluttershy ever been jealous? I cannot think of a single cannon instance. She gets angry when she thinks others are mistreating her, but never because she is jealous of them. Moreover, her conversation with Discord in "The Return of Harmony Part 1" strongly implies that she considers her friends more competent than herself, and isn't particularly bothered by that.
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Jealousy? I think of it more as feeling useless because it is something she views as simple. I mean think of her outburst at Pinkie in the Iron will episode, she says that it is trivial what she does. One would think that making someone smile is easy, but failing at something she knows that all her friends can do easily. A dyslexic person would think that they are useless for not being able to read when they see so many other people reading. She isn't jealous, she is tearing her self up over her failing a simple task. By tearing herself down she feels the need to lash out at those who try to fix her. She was at her lowest point, and it is hard to see past that when you have a inferiority complex like her.
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Fluttershy's outburst at Pinkie and Rarity in the Iron Will episode was because she thought they were trying to manipulate her. In her mind, they wanted her "to be a door mat"; she was angry because of the perceived abuse, not because they were criticizing her. Furthermore, her flaws were highlighted repeatedly during her conversation with Discord in "Return of Harmony Part 1", and it didn't bother her in the slightest. Direct criticism and exposure of her weaknesses are simply not things that make Fluttershy angry, regardless of what you call that type of anger.
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Obviously we are having a stubbornness competition. Last point I'll try to make is who is the one criticizing her in this story? Other people saying she is useless may not bother her, but her saying it to herself is very hurtful. Anyway we are all entitled to our opinions, and it seems a waste of time to keep this going. If you don't agree with this point either, then have a nice day maybe we'll argue about another fic sometime.
NOTE: I don't care about this stupid criticism, I just enjoyed the story.
>Ecocat<
P.s. Really guys?
I don't think either of these were out of character here. Though it does highlight why they are my least liked ponies. Pinkie as usual doesn't understand the concept of being to pushy, to loud, personal space, or the fact that sometimes you do need to be alone. And well I feel Flutterbutts rage was justified up to the point of taking a swing at Pinkie, had she kept it at just telling her to go away it would have been fully justified. I also think she was right about Pinkie not understanding because the situation Pinkie brought up wasn't even close to the same issue. She flipped over her best friends supposedly not being her friends anymore and it wasn't brought on by anyone other than her own self being utterly stupid and jumping to conclusions. Flutterbutt on the other hand went through something totally out of her control and went through the feeling of being utterly useless at what she thought she was BORN TO DO at the time. She failed at doing something as simple as making someone smile. Something that comes easily to Pinkie as it IS what she was born to do. So for Pinkie grasping the concept of not being able to make a pony smile is like Rainbow Dash not knowing how to fly, it just does NOT compute on any level for her.
3178001 Maybe it's like when somepony bottles up their feelings all the time Ned Flanders-style they can sort of erupt.
3177287 What the hell brought that up? BTW;
I never thought I would say this, but Fluttershy needs to go to anger management.
Pinkie and Fluttershy are both in character. Flutters DOES have anger issues-a result of her pathological anxiety and low self-esteem. Pinkie has a compulsion to make others happy. Their interaction was perfect and heartwarming.