Poncho “leaderofstars” Taylor is a man with a mission, or at least he was. After having fallen at the hands of the god who destroyed the human race, he finds himself not in heaven nor in hell but in the land of Equestria. Now stuck in the peaceful land of talking ponies, he attempts to adjust himself to his new life while being haunted by his past failures. But when his new home comes under fire by the same god that destroyed his old home, can he discover greatest weapon humanity has to offer in time to become the warrior the ponies of Equestria need to protect them?
a human in Equestria story with a bit of a twist.
I'll like to thank blahblahblah for helping me out with this.
i own nothing not already copyrighted by hasbro
the icon is copyrighted by thq
This is just getting old...
Not even giving the main character (read: self insert) a name?
Yep, feel free to share.
Please, don't self insert in fanfics
When I saw that your character's name was the same as your user name, I was immediately repelled. Please, if you decide to write another story, at least pick a proper name for your character.
Leaderofstars lawl
Well theres a lot of grammer and spelling issues.
but the story has some potential.
They shouldn't be so shocked about eating meat.
There are gryphons in Equestria you know.
257350
i'm kinda sure them gryphons don't parade around eating it in public. it's kinda implied and not really shown in the show itself.
besides gryphons hardly ever come to ponyville so i doubt they could really handle that fact.
besides just about every-other fanfic i read has roughly the same plot to them. this will be one of the few that walks a different path towards the same goal.
258183I don't know what goal your talking about.
But I'm expecting the human to turn into a pony. I also expect
shipping with Twi. Jk jk...that's how things usually end up
like, which is great.
Btw you should find your self a prereader. You got some
Mistakes in your chapters.
Now in the mean time I'm gonna lay in bed, and play some Xbox.
Molestia
273836
i wouldn't go that far.
it would have been more Molestia if she had said, "either you give me all your human technology willing or I'll ride you until you do."
I'll like to think of it being more like she's been alive for a really long time and knows how important sex can be to those who hadn't had any in a long time like our friend here.
relax though he has willpower. also if you think about it, anything a female pony would do, short of telling him outright, to in a attempt to show she's ready, willing and able to mate with him would be pretty much wasted on him because of the culture differences.
I am hoping this turns out to be a Fluttershy ship!
277171
sounds like a horrible relationship to be in.
our nanobot infused friend is a hunter after all and he would use every last bit of the creatures he kills to enhance his standard of living. From leather clothing to using the bones as weapons, the very thought of all this would make her stay in such a relationship out of pure fear.
still if such a relationship does happen will our friend put aside his pride as a hunter for little fluttershy's sake?
don't look at me i don't know yet.
212625
i suck at names.
besides I'm not in the damn story yet. who keeps saying that i self insert?
if this was a self insertion that i would have used my "god of imagination" template to design this character not base it off a "last man on earth" idea i came up with a few years ago.
of course if i did use my "god of imagination" template this wouldn't be someone trying fit in with a group he knows nothing about but rather a complete jackass showing off his god powers and making dick jokes.
ok i have a couple of ideas...
for one molestia does show up...latter...
for the clop fic aspect it will either be clesetia,luna,pinkie,or twilight
clesetia becuase of molestia
luna becuase they both arnt perfect so they both know the world aint full of just happiness
pinkie becuase well he is wondering how the f she can do that plus she seems to be the only one other then applejack not fazed by his dietary issue
and twilight becuase it seems she always ends up haveing a crush on humans from another world LOL it seems to be a running thing...
also you are aware that he will run out of bullets eventually...
and for the record something tells me he will EVENTUALLY (most likely not anytime soon though) try out the whole vegitarian diet becuase it seems everyone is either A.afraid or B. trying to kill him becuase of it...
also i do not think flutershy will work in a relationship with the whole not sensativew thing...
dash might work but they will have to setal their differences for sure and try to get along...
ok now the non clop fic aspect... can he change his name to something else i mean leaderofstars sounds kinda stupid...
*looks at leaderofstars*
no offense...
277710 "still if such a relationship does happen will our friend put aside his pride as a hunter for little fluttershy's sake?"
That is exactly what I was thinking when I said I am hoping its a Fluttershy ship.
278577
edit think about this for half a second: gummy is a alligator and gators live on a diet of pure meat. fringe horror logic all around.
i agree on molestia showing up later.
as for the relationship parts
clesetia: doubtful. i don't see it working out in away that doesn't involve our friend here becoming a "problem solver"
luna: they do have some things in common; the evil, the anger, the being separated from others for a really long time bit. if this one does pan out she'll be funding that rocket launch to the moon.
pinkie: i think she just doesn't give a flying fuck about his dietary habits.
twilight: this one would be less sex, more adapting his advance human technology to better benefit pony-kind.
run out of bullets? he can custom craft his own rounds. its more like the backpack's power cell on its last legs. edit: so yeah i'm getting rid of backpack. say your good byes.
there will be some bigots that hate him for what he eats. hell in the next chapter i just finished writing the ass beating they gave him.
I'm with you on fluttershy but she is a animal caretaker and would be more afraid for the safety of her animals then herself.
I'm not seeing anything happening between dash and our friend at least until dash understands more about his culture and his upbringing. there's more then "i eat meat" to this guy ya know.
I'll like to think of it more like a family heirloom that's he using to distance himself from those around him so their deaths won't hurt as much.
none taken. i plan on giving my first born child this user name and all its passwords as a birthday gift one day. just because i plan ahead and can't to see the little shit's face.
280209 "That is exactly what I was thinking when I said I am hoping its a Fluttershy ship."
i actually thought of a idea that could fill that void you want filled.
pride is a double edged sword. lets leave it at that
280817
or maybe it will be like some fics in which he has a relationship with more then one charecter...
also i agree on the celestia and twilight i mean celestia will use him for any "special problems" of hers (wink wink) and twilight will use his knowledge
also personally i hope for the luna one the best i mean out of all of them minus the main 6 she seems to be the most realistic becuase she has defects.
i mean celestia has to have her defect made in the show she doesnt have any and everyone else doesnt have much defects either minus the main 6 and luna
also personally in the mulit relationship department i hope for luna,dash and twilight but i highly doubt twilight if multible relationships do happen...
but still if he gets a relationship i hope for luna they will be perfect for eachother...
and for the record you know you need metals and the such to make bullets right...
and according to almost every fan fic metal is hard to come by in ponyville...
WHERE IS NEW CHAPTERS!!!!!
DONT MAKE ME USE USE MY NEW FOUND UNRELENTING FORCE ON YOU!!!!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/199/907/bdfc9ec1-5854-430d-9c9b-71764a54350e.png
298950
dude chill the fuck down. and don't try that again, my rifle has a far better range then your thu'um
trying to write a story like this is hard. i want the interaction between the characters to seem believable.
you try writing a story while never having seen the subject material.
I'm doing this intentionally as not to show favoritism to any one character.
also i kinda think Trixie is a potential mate because they both seem to make asses out themselves where ever they go
think they can both claim the great and powerful title? Trixie claims it because she's full of herself and our friend can claim it because he's the last of his kind.
wait what? metal hard to come by? i guess they wouldn't really mine impure metal ores because of the toxic byproducts involved in the refining process.
pure metal ores like gold and sliver are possibly mined more often then not because of how pure the ores are like in real life. i think he can manage since he going to be living inside the unexploded regions of the everfree forest they may be quite a few ore deposits spread out around there waiting to be found and mined
ah... anyways i need to return to my word processor and finish up this chapter.
i think you may be of use to me. in fact you've already pointed out a problem our friend gonna hafta figure out on his own.
"...He may be a creature of warfare, violence and death but he proved his willingness to protect the lives of others.” uh... celestia you ain't helping dave (gave him a name since leaderofstars doesnt work) with that warfare, violence and death bit...
also leaderofstars try asking the fans their opioion to see why you are getting low rateings.
412490
damn do I suck that hard at story writing?
I need a editor.
412616 ok then ask around just dont ask me becuase i suck at grammer.
in fact i am sure that if i wrote a story i would overload some grammer nazis.
412634
i could help you with grammar and spelling.
412661 anyway ask around maybe another author could help. (i am just good for opioions and FC charecters (sometimes i can come up with them just like *snaps fingers* that))
412684
i could do that aswell
but first things first you need to decide where to lead this story. put the story on hold for now and once you got everything sorted (editer, pre-readers, etc) then go back to it. also make sure to get a jornal or something to write down ideas that pop into your head i hear that helps book writers so it might help you. also get more people to discuss ideas with then just me at least 3 or 4 people (including me) will work best becuase you can get more views and opioions. this is just my opioion though.
412706
agreed.I don't have any clue how to approach this clusterfuck. need outside help.
412712 ok then best get started then. good luck with the storie.
412722
not my first time dealing with a cluster-fuck.
hopefully i can salvage the good points and make the story read better.
i kinda want to use the phrase 'hungry enough to eat a horse' in front of a large group of ponies.
412739 ok first things first get a good editor and excellent pre-readers then let them look at the chapters you already posted so your editor can see what he can do. then get people to discuss ideas with (preferabaly authors that did stories like this since they would have experience advantage and would know whst doesnt wotk and what does) you. uninfortunately it is likely your storie would be gutted if it aint good but hey you have to start somewhere and make sacrifices to make progress.
412739 also you should not blatently throw phrases like that or at least catch yourself at the last minute like this "i am so hungry i could eat a ho-... um nevermind that"
412695 you live more i need more