Rainbow Dash struggles to figure out why Pinkie Pie keeps acting weird, and seems so happy about spending Hearts and Hooves with hanging out with her, while also puzzling over the fact that Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth seem to be going out of their way to help the two of them enjoy the day.

Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth need to have their own tags, because they're awesome characters who deserve to have more stories written about them.

Has a semi-sequel-follow-up-side-story:"The Life and Times of a Winning Pony."

Bon Bon and Lyra play sweet music.

Do not read this.

In a dark place named Tartarus, a subterranean hellscape between worlds, humans and ponies are paired together at random to survive a gauntlet of horrible monstrocities while the future of their realms hang in the balance.

Now, are you buying that? Good. Cuz I'm friggin' tired of having to explain it all on top of dragging this annoying-ass unicorn around the effing corridors of purgatory along with me. You'd think the damn, burning yahoos who run this place would give us rest stops to drown ourselves in beer or something. Friggin' A.

Oh, and some ponies and humans spill blood together and stuff. I dunno. Stop playing BattleDuty: Future Football and read this, or whatever. Like I give a crap...

Twilight is rudely awakened to find herself floating towards a flying saucer. Clearly, the thing inside deserves a piece of her mind.

When the deposed king of the Diamond Dogs is brought before the court of Celestia, the story he tells is far too much to believe. For if it is true, the Equestrians' conquest of his nation has been a terrible mistake.

* * *

Audiobook by Illya Leonov.
Proofread by GaryOak.
Reviews:
PresentPerfect
The Goodfic Bin