shortskirtsandexplosions
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38w, 14hTwilight's Library
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Yes
EDIT: Wow, that was powerful. I'm not gonna lie, through all the confusion that comes with dreaming, I really felt the underlying helplessness of it all. This is definitely my favorite of your one-offs.
*Do not read this*
One particular quirk of my personality is that no matter what, if I see a story that I'm even remotely interested in, I can hardly resist reading it- and completing it with all possible speed without missing any details. It feels like some sort of hunger for fiction that can not be sated. And thus, I shall read this... When I get through all the rest of what seems to be the results of the coming of the L-Day that I haven't heard much about (although this is probably my own fault)
What IS THIS?
Is it just me, but
SPOILER:
Was this all Lyra's coma? ![]()
What were you SMOKING when you wrote this?
This was truly one of my favorites from the last writeoff, and I was saddened it didn't do better. So glad I caught it here on the front page! :D
That was both repetitive and lacked a needed sad/tragedy tag. Otherwise well composed.
I... um... woah.... you sure this shouldn't have the "dark" tag instead of the "random" one? I... wow. Normally, I can make a pretty fair-sized comment about things I read but... damn, this made me speechless. And in a good way... I think?
I don't know what just happened... but I think I get it? Maybe?
My head hurts, this was really good, kind of out there, is meta the right word? The only thing is you lost me for a while at the point Bonbon cuts off Lyra's head and wears it like a helmet, I know she is kind of being tortured in tartarus or something but I don't know, how can you go back and see your lovers face and hug them with the knowledge that minutes before you did that to said face... even if I don't know, the Bonbons and lyras were kind of mixed up at the end and confusion and discord and what and..... DAMN IT ALL my brain hurts...
... As i read this I kept coming up with 'one does not simply' jokes...
javascript:smilie('
');My mind just got fucked. Mind fucked for surejavascript:smilie('
');. Why was TRagedy not one of the tags? or sad? Geez, this shit is gonna give me nightmares... I still love it though
Your biggest fan, AppleJack
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Incredible. Brilliant. And soooo sad. Dammit, SS&E. And now my head's all tripped out and the world feels weird just from having followed all of that to the last twist and BAD END ![]()
Out of all them stories, THIS one liked and faved. And to think I thought maybe it was some prank on that manga Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo?
And this deserves a TRAGEDY tag- though if you feel it gives the game away, all right. But 'random' is misleading.
The only thing I can say for certain is that you have an excellent command of dream imagery, no matter how regrettably based in internally-consistent real-world-like logic the dream world you have described seems to be. I particularly liked the part where the oak trees were grinding together at the center of the cube. Otherwise this was entirely confusing and mismatched.
It isn't a dream.
It's an ending. ![]()
RIP Lyra Heartstrings
from the agony of your last failing struggle to reach the reality of your beloved...
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My mind is tickled in the strangest way.
And this needs a sad/tragedy tag, even if it takes some of the twist away.
How odd. How very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very odd.
Wow, dude, you just blew my mind away. My mind is probably in Serbia by now, you blew it so hard. This was sad, though. Really, really sad. It's also a mind-buck, but still sad. It made me confused, and I had no freaking idea what was happening until the end, but then you confused us more and threw in a big ol'
.
So to summarize, well-done.
Confuzzledly,
~Plyxe
Wow...That was sadder than Background Pony...I'm gonna curl up and think about things for a little while.
I done read a thing. The thing done broke my brain.
Brain initiating manual reboot...
...
...
Ahem. So, in summary, brilliant stuff as usual
Read this in the Write-Off. It was mindscrewing and heartrending, in that order.
"You can be happy! You can make sweet music!"
What did I just clop to?
I like to imagine you just woke up one day with a chunk of your skull missing and all these stories conveniently written for you. Seriously, I have no idea what dark Eldridge abomination you make sacrifices to, but it seems to be paying off. ![]()
Soooooo... Lyra dies?
I cannot make up my mind as to whether this is brilliant or redundant.
Thumbs up anyway ![]()
I don't even... What? I'm going to have to read this like a dozen times when it's not 4am, I think. Maybe then I'll get it all. For now all I think I know is that poor Lyra died and you're a very special, wonderful kind of crazy.
Reading this was a bloody experience. It quite honestly reminded me of the exposition sequence in Brave New World, but it is much longer and particularly fun to read; it is ultimately touching and a fairly astute insight into the surreality of dreaming.
I literally finished it in five minutes; the damned thing hits like a bomb. It is smashingly good, I must say; even the awkward dialogue is justified for this story.
Whoa. Reminded me of The Twilight Zone mixed with that one Epcot ride you showed me, with the veins and... stuff. ![]()
That ending was like a stab in the kidneys. Here I was expecting the happy finish and an understandably surreal story, and then you go and flip it upside down...
Nonetheless, I really enjoyed it ![]()
I think this is one of the few times in my entire life where I've put a story down in the middle of it and went, "What the buck am I reading."
+1
This is the first story I've seen here that made me wish that it were possible to both like and dislike a story at the same time. Having read it, I am no longer certain your description was reverse psychology. Nonetheless, an interesting story; a mad beat propels it. That, and Bon Bon being in Lyra's head in more ways than one…a masterful tragedy in far fewer words than your norm.
Why doesn't this have tragedy as a tag? ![]()
The ending was so sad.... I don't even know what to do now..
Just....wow. I have no idea what I just read, but somehow it made sense. I now have a sad.
My brain jumped out of my skull and hid in a corner and screamed after reading this.![]()
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YOUR MIND WHEN WRITING THIS=DISCORD+PINKIE PIE *times* THE MASK *divided* BY ZERO TO THE POWER OF 15751512658758/97843165749845
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5 OUT OF % CRAZIES FOR WHAT"S HIS FACE!
WHAT ASYLUM WERE YOU IN WHEN THIS CAME INTO YOUR SHITSTORM HURRICANE OF A MIND?
HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?
i'm going insane now. bye bye.........
The answer you seek is *isenrt wsie wdors in this lacoiton*
The question is just as simple: WTF?
The reason is *isernt Yoda meme in this lacoiton*
Well. That was odd. I liked the immune system part a lot though.
Poor lyra...
I believe this is what they call a mindscrew.
I have no idea what I just read, what the ending was, or how I should feel beyond confused.
Is it weird if I get it? 'Cause I think I get it.
*********SPOILERS!!!!!****************
Lyra is in a coma.
She dreams she is Bon Bon because she hears Bon Bon's voice talking about the music etc (she talks about Lyra being the one who's musical).
The drums are the heart rate monitor/Lyra's heart.
The 'they aren't going to wait much longer' or something thing is Bon Bon telling Lyra to wake up; the doctors are going to turn off the life support.
Lyra then wakes up from being Bon Bon and sees her mare/girlfriend there beside her, but she's too late, and the hospital decides to pull the plug.
The title's origin, though I guessed it from the beginning, was still intriguing.
*****SPOILERS******
Overall, worth reading.
Fdcfhcfhjgvjh ghjy hjbjhu hjb!
hahaha!!
...jhh, hjkkjkjjo jh...![]()
*puts brain back in head*
*ahem* Ah, that's better.
What I was trying to say was that i think that made my brain ooze out of my ears.
First time reading it: Oww...my head....
Second Time: Er...I sorta get it...I think...
Third Time: Wait...so at the end...![]()
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This story was a special type of mindbuck, and I'm still not sure if I like it. ![]()
But here's a thumbs up for entertaining me. ![]()
(Very SPOILERY)
Really enjoyed it, but I didn't see that final twist coming at all. I'd been hoping that she was going to live. What a way to get our hopes up...
Still, this was very well-written. Got a little too abstract to be comprehensible at points, and some of the repetitions didn't make sense, but the feelings are all there. The back-and-forth between "Bon Bon" and the constantly-repeated phrases were terrific.
Regardless, I get the feeling you had a lot of fun writing this. ![]()
Oh... this is so saaaadddddd....
Poor Lyra... I'm still not sure I get it though...
...Woah.
The way you portrayed the confusion and panic as she was slowly piecing things together worked really well, I thought. Familiar things from the first sequence crumbling and twisting around her. That ending... I definitely didn't expect it. You could say that it really pulls on your heart strings
But really though, this one got me. Tragic.
...What the buck did I just read?!
So, Bon Bon was in a coma, but it was Lyra in the coma, but then she died, and Bon Bon fades away into nothingness? Wat?!?!?!?!?! ![]()
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...I did like the many powerful undertones suggesting a feeling of helplessness, though. I thought they were very well done. I would expect nothing less from you, Skirts. ![]()
Trippy as Hell...man...dude...just...wow...I think I just accidentally everything....or was that you...or are we you... everything is a lie man...I don't even...sigh...mkay...good job...you broke my brain...
So the whole thing never happened?![]()
Seems legi- actually, no, it doesn't because I still don't get it!
........
Yes, that is the sound of my mind deleting itself.
HA HA I READ IT ANYWAY!!
After Reading: This story just took my brain and smashed it with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.







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