I Met a Pony In Hell (And We Kicked Ass Together)

by shortskirtsandexplosions

Chapter Four: The One Where Everyone Acts Way Too Happy For Where They Are

Naturally, all we fought for the next few hours was boredom. A day in Tartarus is a lot like a day on the battlefield. Well, at least I would assume as much. You get long periods of absolute silence and nothingness while you march across empty expanses of metal platforms, unsure of what may be around the next stretch of rusted surfaces. Then, when the orcs and trolls and god-knows-what-the-fuck-else finally decide to jump on your dick, it all amounts to a frenzied battle of blades and blood that lasts the total of five short minutes at best.

Needless to say, it risks driving someone batshit crazy. Every soul has different means of coping with this. Me? I counted the cracks in the platform beneath my boots. Kelly talked about various bits of nonsense. Applejack whistled a lively tune. And Lyra...

“Nnnngh!” She strained in mid-trot, her face tensing up as she forced several strobes of green energy through her horn. “Hnnnckkt!”

“Careful, darlin',” Applejack drawled as she trotted between me and Kelly with the sacks of looted supplies. “Yer liable to burst a blood vessel if ya keep strainin' yerself.”

“I swear!” Lyra panted, panted, and contorted her face again as if she was giving birth. “I'm so close! I can feel my leylines lining up just right!”

“I'm lost.” Kelly glanced over her shoulder from where she led our little party. “Are unicorns capable of having long-distance cybersex with their mental penpals or something?”

“She thinks if she concentrates hard enough, she can perform a teleportation spell,” I said with a droning voice. “Then she'd lose her collar.”

“You're shittin' me!” Kelly grinned wide. “Ponies can do that?!”

“Evidently not this one,” I grumbled.

“I can too!” Lyra squeaked, almost hyperventilating as she strained her face again. “I just gotta get the spell right...”

“Lyra, sugarcube, I love ya like a sister, and I'll support ya in everythang you do,” Applejack said, “But perhaps you should rein it in a little?”

“You realize you're a pony that just made a horse-riding pun?” I said to her.

“Jee,” Applejack gazed at me with bored green eyes. “I couldn't hear myself from the overgrown monkey flinging his own manure around.”

“Hah hah hah!” Kelly paused to lean on a rusted pillar. The titanium bow rattled on her back as she wiped a tear loose and resumed her march. “Whew! I swear, AJ, you'd sooooo fit in where I come from. I almost wish the portal would send you back to my apartment so we can watch the O'Reilly Factor together and count how many times the dude’s chin wobbles.”

“Well, I'd be mighty happy to have you visit the ol' farm as well, Kelly!” Applejack gave a warm grin. “I've always fancied samplin' Granny's pie on someone with yer amount of taste buds.”

“Pfffft. Yeah right.” Kelly winked. “You just want someone tall like me to pluck the apples off the trees and save your hind legs for once.”

“Aw shucks.” Applejack chuckled. “You read me like a flippin' book, don't you?”

“Only cuz you're full of such interesting words. And when I say 'interesting words,' I really mean 'adorable freckles.'”

“Hah!” Applejack rolled her eyes, though she tried to hide the blush to her cheeks. She glanced back at her unicorn acquaintance. “I swear, I've never gotten along with a perfect stranger this well since I was a filly. If only things weren't so ugly around here, ya reckon?”

Lyra turned and smiled brightly at me. “Hey, Shawn! Remember that one time you said something about how much a dead troll smelled and I laughed?”

“No,” I grunted. “And I'd rather not talk about it.”

“Okay.” She quietly hung her head.

I saw Kelly's disapproving eyes. I shrugged wildly at her. She sighed, shook her head, and cleared her throat. “So... uhm...” Her voice echoed across the wide platform as we approached a solid wall of metal, perforated in random places by geometrically perfect ravines. “Did ponies know about this place? Tartarus, I mean.”

“Heck yeah,” Applejack said with a nod. “Well, none of us have ever stepped hoof in these wicked parts before, but our history books are plum full of texts that mention the place.”

“Yes,” Lyra remarked with a nod. She gulped and explained, “Long ago, when the alicorns settled Equestria, they had a bunch of nasty monsters to contend with.”

“When the who settled Equestria?” I asked, making a face.

“Alicorns,” Kelly spoke back to me. “Y'know... Extra large ponies with pegasus wings and unicorn horns who are imbued with the intense magic of both nature and the cosmos.” She squinted. “Surely you've let Lyra tell you all about it before...”

I merely glared at her.

My partner continued. “So... uhm, there were a bunch of nasty monsters in the place. Alicorns like Celestia and Luna tried to coexist with them, but things didn't go so well. The creatures only wanted to kill and destroy and do so many evil things.”

“So Celestia had them all banished to a different realm,” Applejack added. “As far as most Equestrians know, it was a giant underground prison of sorts. But never did any of us think it was this flippin' huge.” Applejack's armor rattled as she looked up at the high wall stretching before us. “Come to think of it, we never once thought that other dimensions could exist with things like you—erm, that is—with people in it.”

“What about humans, Kelly?” Lyra asked. “Do you have any knowledge of Tartarus?”

“I'd love to tell you, but I do believe Shawn here is our resident hipster with pathetically nerdy knowledge to toss around.” Kelly waved a hand blindly. “Shawn?”

I gave a long sigh, slumping in my armor. “Ahem. Tartarus is sometimes mixed up with 'Hell' in western society. As far as I know, the original Tartarus was some place in Greek Mythology where the titans were sent after Zeus and his siblings took over as gods of Mount Olympus.”

“Titans?” Lyra made a face.

“Greek?” Applejack made an even weirder face.

“Look. It's simply a big bad place with multiple areas of ironically-themed suffering, okay?” I said. “Like—take 'Sisyphus' for example. Heh. I swear, that name is the biggest fucking coincidence ever. Ahem. In human mythology, Sisyphus was a mere mortal who was sent to Tartarus as punishment for dissing the gods.”

“Oh, I know this one!” Kelly glanced back at me. “He's the one who had to roll a boulder constantly uphill for eternity!”

“Yup,” I said with a nod. “He's also the subject of a certain Algerian Frenchmen fapping off to his own pretentious bullshit and pretending it's 'existentialism.'”

“Algerian?” Applejack squinted.

“Fapping?” Lyra blurted.

“Oh gods.” Kelly face-palmed in mid-stride. “I think you broke them, Shawn.”

“Uh huh...”

“I think you broke me too.”

“Boo-fucking-hoo,” I grumbled, then gestured ahead of us. “Check this shit out. I think we should double back.”

“What for?” Kelly glanced back at us. We stood still as she marched towards the flat wall. A ridiculously thin and nightmarishly dark corridor led down through the solid metal structure. We could barely see the dim light of an enormous chamber on the other side that matched the one stretching behind us. “It's just a passage. I'd say we head through single-file. Two of us mind the front and two of us mind the back.”

“I dunno,” Applejack said, scratching her chin. “Looks mighty shady to me.” She glanced at the rest of us. “Reckon it's a trap?”

“A pretty boring one if you ask me,” I said.

“Shawn...” Kelly sighed.

“What?”

“I-I think I can be of help here,” Lyra said, marching up with her glowing horn.

“You're not gonna try teleporting again, are you?” Kelly asked.

“Believe it or not, she knows what she's doing,” I said. “Lyra's got some sort of—I dunno—spatial sensory thingy with that horn of hers. It's kind of like Daredevil's radar sense, only a lot fruitier and sporting a mane.”

“And it's become a lot more powerful since I got here,” Lyra said as she scanned the thin corridor with a beam of light, her face calm and meditative. “While Applejack became a warhorse and you two turned into an archer and swordsman, I became something of a high level sorcerer.”

“Who can't teleport,” I said.

Kelly slapped me upside the head with her bow.

“Ow!”

Lyra giggled. “It so happens that I can make shields, zap bad guys from long range, and open complex doors. And, not only that...” She flashed her horn one last time and breathed easily. “I can scan for dangerous obstacles. This corridor's safe. There's nothing to be afraid of in there.” She glanced back and blushed slightly. “So... uhm... I'm actually good for something after all.”

“Uh huh,” I nodded and walked past her. “Thanks, Lyra. Now, if we can just see what's on the other—”

“It's much appreciated, honey,” Kelly said, kneeling before Lyra and running a hand lovingly through the mane behind her helmet. She smiled into the pony's amber eyes. “Don't sell yourself short. We all have a part to play in this mess, it would seem, and we couldn't get very far without your talents no less than Shawn's or Applejack's.”

“Yeah, sugarcube,” Applejack said and nuzzled Lyra softly. “Way to make sure the coast is clear.”

“Jee...” Lyra dug at the floor with her hoof as her cheeks burned red. “I was just doing what comes naturally to me. It isn't much...”

“But it's just what we needed,” Kelly said. She stood back up, half-smirking and half-glaring my way. “After all, it's good to know when you're appreciated.”

I looked back at her, then rolled my eyes.

“So, who's going through first?” Applejack asked. “Reckon I should, cuz I've got the most armor and all?”

“You're also carrying most of our things,” Kelly replied. “I should go first. I can shoot anything that might show up on the other side.”

“You sure about that?” Lyra looked up, blinking her bright eyes. “I have the magical sensory perception. Maybe I should go.”

“I'll go!” I growled, unsheathing my blade as I marched firmly down the corridor. “I've got the sword. Let them run at me first.”

“Oh like you're that brave,” Kelly chuckled.

“I've endured the three of you having your little after-school special, haven't I?”

“Hey! Shawn!” Lyra panted and galloped into the corridor after me. “Wait up! Don't get too far!”

Applejack took up the middle. “Kelly, are all males from your world one load short of an apple bushel?”

“Only the ones who aren't worth mating with,” Kelly warmly replied.

Ahead of the group, I grumbled as I pierced the thin, dark corridor with my heavy sword. “God, I can't wait to make something piss itself at the sight of me again.”

“You know, Shawn,” Lyra tried whispering to me as she came close to my heels. I could sense her stupid, adoracute smile without looking. “I think Miss Kelly kind of sort of likes you.”

“Lyra, the only thing 'Miss Kelly' is in the mood to like is a selfless eunuch who'll join hands, sing songs, and pretend there's a rosy shade to this cesspool adventure we're on.”

“Aaaaaaaaand,” Lyra childishly cooed, “Are you any one of those things?”

“Fuck no.”

“He's about to be the first one if he doesn't watch his mouth!” I heard Kelly's voice echo from behind.

“Okay, people, ponies,” I grunted to the walls. “Could we can the flippant conversations until we're someplace where there isn't a lot of acoustics?”

I heard Lyra's and Applejack's giggles as if they were emanating all around me. Somewhere in the midst of all that was Kelly's own titter, and I felt like falling on my sword right then and there.

Thankfully, the world opened up for me. I felt the tight air giving way to a large expanse just as wide as the one we had come from. This didn't alarm me, though, for straight across the way at a distance of approximately one hundred feet, I saw—

“The door!” I exclaimed as Lyra, Applejack, and Kelly emerged alongside me. “Thank friggin' God! It's the next chamber already!”

“Kind of strange that we haven't faced a horde of freaks already,” Kelly said in a low tone, her eyes shifty.

“You can have your freaks and eat them too,” I replied, taking a bold step forward. “Onward to freedom, ladies—”

“Shawn, wait!” Lyra blocked my ankle with an outstretched hoof.

I stumbled back as Applejack stepped forward with a squint. “Something wrong, sugarcube?” she said.

Lyra stared at the stretch of metal surface in front of us. “Nothing is as it seems.”

“The fuck are you going on about now?” I asked.

“Let her speak her peace, Shawn,” Kelly said.

I sighed. “Yes, captain, my captain.”

“You guys remember how I said I can detect obstructions?”

“Yeah...”

“Well, I thought I sensed something beyond the corridor earlier. At first, I thought I was just imagining things. But you all seemed so sure of my ability and—well...” She bit her lip and clenched her eyes shut. Her horn glowed, and a haze of effluent green mist magically wafted over the platform. In a few seconds, they collected in several key places, highlighting before us an elaborate array of emerald circles in the rusted floor.

“What in tarnation are those?” Applejack remarked.

Lyra exhaled sharply. She leaned against Kelly and gained her breath in time to explain, “Minor dents in the floor. Thing is, there're so many of them, and they are all evenly spaced.”

“Means it can't be accidental,” Kelly murmured in thought.

“Perhaps it's nothing?” I said with a shrug. “Maybe this was once the foundation to a larger platform built above this one and all the support struts are gone?”

“Seems like a mighty strange place for such a thing,” Applejack remarked. “I've raised plenty a barn in my day. One rarely ever comes across stuff built like this.”

“I just thought I'd point it out,” Lyra remarked. “It could be nothing.”

“Guess there's only one way to find out.” Kelly reached back and expanded her bow.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“Watch and learn, sad-sack.” She gave her arrow some slack with the metal wire, notched it, and fired at the middle of the floor.

The projectile flew true and ricocheted off one of the many circles. Almost instantly, that tiny section of the floor burst open, giving way to a nine-foot tall serrated spike shooting up out of the ground.

Lyra shrieked. I winced. Even Kelly jolted, almost losing grip of her bow.

“Whoah Nelly!” Applejack reared her front limbs. She stood again, breathless, and gulped. “That could have been one of our flanks on that there spike!”

“I-I had no idea it was something that nasty!” Lyra squeaked. She was trembling. I knew this because she was squeezing my leg tight. She looked up at me, saw my hard gaze, and slid away. “S-Sorry...”

I sighed and looked at where the arrow was lying. “I wonder if all the circles are like that?”

Kelly looked at me. She looked at the field of glowing green dots. Swiftly, she retracted her arrow on the length of her cord.

As it rolled over the various circles with the lightest, scraping touch, it triggered spike after spike so that a literal wave of fang-sharp madness was rising up out of the ground and receding before us.

“Well,” I sighed and sheathed my sword. “Back to the corridor.”

“Not so fast.” Kelly grasped my shoulder and held me in place before I could fully retreat. “The door's on that side, remember?”

“Uh, yeah?” I pointed at the glowing circles. “Did you happen to notice the Maquis de Sade's honeymoon suite lying in the way?”

“Reckon we're not lookin' at the big picture closely enough,” Applejack said, scratching her chin as her green eyes washed over the area. Finally, she blinked and pointed to an area where the green circles weren't present. “There! You see it?”

“Mmmmhmmm.” Kelly nodded, retracted her arrow fully, and notched it again. “And how.” In a single breath, she fired the projectile. The arrow landed in the splotch of metal unlit by Lyra's green energy field. Absolutely nothing happened; no spike emerged. “Hmm.” She smirked proudly at the rest of us. “Well, that answers that.”

“What answers what?” I asked. I then looked at the stretch of floor and the various unglowing spots within steps, half-steps, and suicidal leaps from one another. “Oh, Hell no...”

“Lyra.” Kelly knelt down in front of the unicorn and gently grasped her shoulder. “You think you can keep this magical field lit up so that the spikes will remain visible?”

“Uhhh...” Lyra gulped. “Maybe. Perhaps for a little while.”

“You've not let us down this far,” Kelly said. “You've proven that you're more than capable of alerting us to the dangers ahead.”

“But...” Lyra bit her lip. “But I-I don't know if I can concentrate on the energy stream that long! Even when I try to make shields, they don't last forever—”

“Lyra...” Kelly smiled and caressed Lyra's face. “I know that you can. I wouldn't ask you to do this if I didn't know that you'd keep us safe. So what do you think? You up for it?”

Lyra trembled briefly. She took a deep breath and smiled. “Okay...”

“Thatta girl.” Applejack strolled up to the edge of the green, glowing circles. “No sense in wastin' time, ya reckon?”

“Wait.” Kelly pointed. “Why should you go first?”

“Well, I figure I'm wearin' the horseshoes.” Applejack glanced back over her armored shoulders. “Gives me an inch or two over you, right?”

Kelly blinked.

Applejack blinked back. Her face contorted as she snorted forth a guffaw. “Hahahahah... Well, it was just a thought!”

“Heheheh... You damn crazy horse.” Kelly gave a thumb's up. “Don't get any holes in you. How else will I get my fifteen-month-old cousin to ride you when this is over?”

“Land's sakes! Just the gumption I needed!” Applejack jumped ahead.

I winced visibly, barely squinting to see the orange pony landing safely in a spot and then bouncing to another one. “Gaaah! Don't—... But—... You—...!” I turned and gawked at Kelly. “Th-th-this is insane! I hope you do realize how unbelievably, shitlessly dumb this is!”

“Y'know, Shawn.” Kelly stuck her tongue out at me. “For such a rabid troll-killer, you really are just a troll.” She held her breath, swung her limbs, and propelled herself into the sea of green circles. She landed after Applejack, pivoted on her heels, and followed her partner's swift, zig-zagged, leaping path towards the other end of the platform.

“Guhh—Ichkk—Careful!” I hissed, waving my arms frantically. “Don't get too far away from each other's collars, ya stupid bitches! Gawd!”

“Heeheehee...” Lyra managed a giggle as she darted her eyes my way in the middle of her magical projection. “You really do care for them after all!”

“What I care for is having to clean up after less dead meat between here and freedom—And for the love of Thom Yorke, will you please pay attention to what you're doing?!”

“Hey!” Lyra grinned wide. “You heard Miss Kelly! I got this! What could possibly go wrong?”

“Yeeaugh!” Kelly slipped and teetered back, back, back on her heels while her arms flailed.

Lyra and I winced. The green circles below started to dim and flicker.

Applejack spun about and shouted. “Anchor!”

“Right!” Just as Kelly was starting to fall backwards into a stream of circles, she whipped out her bolt and fired it Applejack's way.

Lyra's head and mine pivoted with the arrow's trajectory.

Applejack opened her mouth and caught the length of the arrow in her horse teeth. She yanked with all her strength, all the while keeping her four hooves locked within the empty space between her nearby circles.

Kelly's fall was stopped at the last second. She panted with relief, hanging briefly in a forty-five degree angle. She slowly coiled the wire attached to the arrow in her upper arms until she was once again standing upright. “Thanks a million, AJ.” She curled her finger towards herself.

Applejack nodded, tossed her head high, and spat the arrow skyward. “Careful, girl! Must be a burn havin' to balance with only two legs.”

Kelly caught the arrow, sheathed it, and nodded. “Gives my hands the luxury of slapping myself from time to time.” She motioned her ally ahead. “Carry on.”

“Yupperooni!” Applejack swiveled, shook her tail, and took a massive leap. She landed on the safe side, exhaling with relief. Slowly but surely, Kelly followed, one cautious jump at a time.

Lyra cooed, “Praise Celestia.” She smiled up at me. “They're really amazing, aren't they?”

I was only then starting to lose the shivers in my upper body. “Feh...” I nevertheless folded my arms and stood tall, glaring their way. “They're fucking lucky is what they are.”

Lyra glanced at me, at Kelly, then at me again. She cocked her glowing horn to the side. “Don't you ever believe in victories, Shawn?”

“I believe in stupid people living long enough to make smaller, stupider people,” I grumbled.

“Hmm. How nice.” She motioned towards the green-glowing platform. “You're up next. Ready to live longer?”

“Hmmph. Fine. I—” I made to perform my first suicidal leap, when I suddenly stopped to jerk a look towards her. “Wait, did you just give me veiled insult?”

Lyra blushed with a smile, her eyes avoiding mine. “Maaaaaaaybe...”

I blinked at her. “Huh...”

“W-was it funny?”

“Not really, no.”

Lyra's ears drooped. “Oh...”

We heard a scraping noise across the way, followed by the sound of Kelly's victorious shout. “Woohoo! One small step for bootyliciousness!”

“Hahah!” Applejack bounced in place, her armor rattling. “Alright!”

“Here, girl!” Kelly knelt in front of her and held a palm out. “Gimme... Gimme... Uhm...” She glanced at her five fingers and at Applejack's forward hoof. “...Omega!”

“Heheheh... Whatever you say.” Applejack slapped her hoof against Kelly's hand and grinned my way. “Your turn, Shawn!”

“Yeah!” Kelly cupped her hands around her mouth. “Come on in, the water's fine!”

“You're both a pair of maniacal fucktards.”

“Love ya too, sugarcube.”

“Heeheehee...”

“Don't worry,” Lyra said. “I got your back.”

“It's something a little lower than my back that I'm afraid of,” I said as I approached the glowing circles below my feet. “Whew... Sweet Jumanji, this is insane...”

“Want me to go first instead—?”

“No,” I pointed at her, swung my hips, and—“Hcnnkt!”—leapt into the first clearing between circles. “Whew. You just—uh—you just keep doing what you're doing and I'll...” I saw the circles dimming below me. Growling, I frowned her way. “Lyra...?!” I blinked.

Her expression had paled. She was looking beyond me in absolute horror.

Pivoting around from where I stood in the middle of death, I followed her gaze. I felt my insides turning to ice. A solid line of orcs and trolls were marching down a series of steps to the left side of the exit door. They chanted bloody murder.

“Dag nabbit!” Applejack hissed. “Such timing! They planned this! They must have!”

“We're separated,” Kelly grunted. “Perfect!” She whipped out her bow while Applejack tossed the saddlebag off her armored self. “Shawn! Lyra! Get over here quickly!”

“Wait, you're not hopping back?!” I gestured madly towards the churning horizon of murder. “They'll be here any second! You can't fight them on your own—”

“Which is why you should hurry your asses! The door behind them is the only way out of this chamber!” Kelly's voice rang back. “We'll hold them off!” No sooner had she said this when the entire horde came charging down with their metal scimitars kissing the air. The entire chamber was drowned out with the noise of the approaching army.

“Awwww fuckin' A!” I hissed as I looked all around me, trying to find the clear areas between the circles. They were becoming increasingly indiscernible as the glowing magic fizzled and faded. “Dammit—Lyra!”

She was staring wide-eyed across the expanse, her trembles rocking her body. “So... So m-many of them—”

“Lyra!” I hissed at her. “Don't make me come over there and break that horn off!”

She snapped out of it, sending a stronger glow into the material on her cranium. “I'm sorry! What should we do?!”

“What do you mean, 'what should we do?!' You gotta help me get over and—Shit!” I reacted to the noise, swiveling on my tiny standing area and unholstering both crossbows. I fired a steady stream of metal bolts into the madness swarming around Kelly and Applejack. My volley was hardly enough; only two trolls stumbled at best. I spat in anger again and spun to growl at her, “There's no time! I'll hop over and you hop after me—”

No sooner had I said this when a fiery explosion literally went off behind Lyra.

“Aaah!” she shrieked, her whole body teetering towards the deadly spikes. She caught herself at the last second and glanced breathlessly behind her at a fresh carpet of burning plasma.

“What in the blue fuck?!” I spun about, only to have two smoking arrows whizz by my head. I followed their path and saw them explode with burning oil across the corridor we had just traversed, blocking our only other exit. I twirled again and saw the archers standing on a row of crumbled pillars, preparing to launch another barrage of explosives our way.

“Oh dear Luna! Oh dear Luna!” Lyra was nearly sobbing. Her ears pricked at the sound of clashing metal. She turned to look—as I did—in time to see the monsters converging on Applejack and Kelly. Applejack had extended the metal plates around her body and was mercilessly barreling her way through the first row of attackers, giving Kelly the meager yet functional berth she needed to make her repetitive arrow shots. “Shawn, I'm trying to keep the magic field open, but—”

I heard the chuckling voices of the archers as they aimed at Lyra with their explosive projectiles once again. “Oh fuck me,” I grumbled then turned towards her. “Jump!”

Her eyes twitched. “Wh-what?!”

“You deaf or something?! Jump into my arms, you oversized, green booger!”

“But you need to get across—”

The arrows were already smoking, flying, surging towards her.

“We'll go across together, Lyra! Move your ass!”

“Nnngh!” She tossed herself in a suicidal lunge. The arrows impacted the floor right as her hooves lifted off, bathing that entire section of the platform in flames. Her horn whistled through the air as she soared to me.

And when I caught her—“Ohhhh shit!” I teetered back, wheezing with her twitching figure in my grasp. The two of us fell, flailing, towards the fading green circles below. “Shit shit shit shit—!”

Comments

[Ponky]

AHHHHH!! Holy crap, this is intense! You're a master of cinematic writing. I can see this stuff happening like its the midnight premiere!

Good to see you're finally living up to your name.

Gotta read more!

[just4imagemails]

Perhaps at this point I'm only spamming the comment section, as I'm sure the author reeeeally doesn't pay too much attention to him when he probably gets a million and nine notifications daily... but damn, for something he whipped up in a frenzy, it really is good. Granted, the main protagonist seems practically indestructible, like he's got some sort of blessing of Ares, and Kelly ... does she really have feelings for Shawn?

There's a lot of win... perhaps it isn't exactly my cup of tea, but it's pretty good, nonetheless.

[kajisora]

Jump into my arms, you oversized green booger!

I am SO quoting that out of context one day!
....
Wait, they were teleported from Sugar Cube Corner?
Please tell me the whole main cast wasn't having a get together!?
Poor Flutters

[Banksyt]

Can i make a quick note here?
This is probably irrelevant like celestia's dodo on a sunday afternoon during fly season... but Twilight has actually been to Tartarus.

“Heck yeah,” Applejack said with a nod. “Well, none of us have ever stepped hoof in these wicked parts before, but our history books are plum full of texts that mention the place.”

If you remember the episode where they make a really obvious video-game reference (talking about the eye-patch-time-travelin episode), Twilight has to drag Cerberus (three headed dogs((< you get it))) Back to Tartarus. Even applejack was there .
Anyways, don't change it if you don't wanna, i'm just lettin you know if it slipped your mind.
Back to mindless troll fighting and other shenanigans.

[Ponky]

I feel like this story was hugely influenced by Two Best Friends, Silent Hill, and Braveheart.