One does not simply blaspheme the princess's tits.

Consequences may include, but are not limited to, snuggling, court-martial, and third-degree burns. And not necessarily in that order.

Entry for the Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest.

The selected prompt was "We learned something hot."

The graffiti did not bother her. The art of vandalism was, in some form or another, as old as civilization itself. The content, on the other hoof, was an entirely different issue. “Princest Is Wincest,” it said. Bad grammar and spelling were one thing, but this was an attack on the Equestrian language.

Luna frowned. She would have to ask Celestia about this at the first opportunity. Perhaps there were spare funds for a literacy program. If nothing else, Tia might be able to explain what exactly the phrase meant.

Thanks to Wade and Sereg for prereading. Thanks to Burraku_Pansa and especially Midnight Rambler for editing.

Dramatic reading, courtesy of CaptainBron3y.

I had a pretty good life. They called me Spit Shine, I worked in the palace, cleaning this, doing that. Hell, I even got to talk to the Princess, and learned all sorts of interesting stuff. It was stimulating, prestigious, and hey, call me weird, but I liked the work.

Shame I was also secretly a changeling infiltrator with a name too annoying to pronounce in polite society trying to observe and potentially subvert your nation state.

I mean, these things happen.

Of course, you'd be surprised what you can learn about a pony when you have a different perspective.

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Original Concept by SoloBrony

Grammar-Less-Suckification by CarcinoGeneticist

Vector by Ackdari

Brand new Spanish Translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

After Celestia humiliates her at a dinner, Luna storms off and ends up snooping around in her sister's room. There, she stumbles upon the journal Celestia kept immediately after the banishment of Nightmare Moon.

Cover art by bunnish on dA.
This story now has a reading by Craft Arts. Go check it out!
Featured on Equestria Daily on August 22, 2013.

“On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape.”

Celestia was prepared to face Nightmare Moon in battle.

What she wasn't prepared for was to face her in a hospital bed.

Can be read both as a standalone and as a spiritual semi-sequel to “The Nightmare Crumples” by Eruantalon. Cover image courtesy of FluffyMixer, used with permission. Now has a Russian translation!

Caution: Story may contain cheese, overly dramatic moments, and a happy ending despite the 'sad' tag.

A real hero doesn't brag?

Just because she likes to talk about how awesome she is means Rainbow isn't a hero?

After her friends revealed themselves to her, Rainbow Dash reacts to Applejack's words in a completely different way than what's expected, and things only go downhill from there. Tears will be shed, friendships will be broken, and knives will be twisted as everything that can go wrong WILL.

In an effort to find the couple that truly needs her help to find some romance in their life, Cadance develops a spell to send her to them.

It's just that when she gets there, neither of the creatures seem that interested in her help. They want to talk about silly stuff like her magic, the existence of other dimensions, stupid government conspiracies meant to keep aliens under wraps, and whether she is a winged unicorn, or a pegasus with a horn when they should just KISS ALREADY!

This story is a sequel to The Face I'll Wear

Dear Small Pony Book,

Hello. My name is Thorax. I am a changeling formerly of the Badlands Hive, ruled by the terrible Queen Chrysalis. Nowadays, I am fortunate to call the Crystal Empire home, and their Royal Family my friends.

Since I'm rather new to living in pony society—without orders to infiltrate, of course—my new friends have been doing their very best to help me get acclimated to this strange, alien way of life. To this end, Princess Cadence has instructed me to tell you of my experiences so that we might use this as time to reflect together. However, I do find it strange. How am I to discuss my day to day interactions with a book? Especially one without a name? You can't not have a name, that would just be rude. So, I will just have to figure one out for you.

I'm not sure why Cadence is laughing at that, or why Shining Armor is groaning. This is a very serious issue.

These ponies are strange. But I don't think I'd have them any other way.

A little thing for me to fiddle with when I'm bored. Updates will likely be sporadic. Tagged as a prequel/sequel to The Face I'll Wear because it will explore some of the same themes and will show events before and after the story.

Preread by Timaeus.

This story is a sequel to The Most Annoying Infestation

Rainbow Dash's plan was just to relax and read Daring Do books all night long. Too bad it was interupted by a certain bat pony colt, begging "Blue Mommy" to have a sleepover with him.

This is a contest entry for ocalhoun's Big 250k Contest.

Review by MixMassBasher

Awesome Reading by Winged T. Spears

Rainbow discovers that she has a pest problem in her house. The pest turns out to be both cuter and more annoying than she expected.

A winner of the 2015 Bat Pony writing contest.

Russian translation by KoylanGOLD
Also read: The Most Annoying House Guest