Equestria doesn't exist. At least, not one where the Elements of Harmony have been discovered. How could they? The Element of Laughter can't even stand on her own. At least, not at her will, she can't. She's stuck, a prisoner in her mind. She wants to move, but she just sits, day in and day out, staring at nothing...

In this story, Pinkie shares a retelling of her life as an immortal. The idea came to me over the past few days and so I decided to write it down. This is the first story in what is now my "Immortal Suffering" series.

Second IS story
Third IS story

It was no national secret.

Celestia always told her guards that nopony was to touch her mane. Ever. If terrorists broke into the castle and held her at swordpoint, they were to let her die before anypony touched her mane. If an adoring foal ever grasped for her flowing locks in the street then they were to be tackled as if they had held a knife to her throat. If she tripped at the top of the Unreasonably Long Staircase in the highest tower of the castle, broke her wings and began to slide over the edge of the stairs then they were to look on impassively as she fell rather than grasp her by her mane to save her.

Nopony was to touch Celestia's mane; it shouldn't have been a difficult command to obey. Somewhere in the depths of the Canterlot archives lay a twisted and malicious law on the subject and now, for the first time ever, she had to exercise it.

For fate had dealt her a hand worse then death, worse than damnation, worse even than Discord.

Fate chuckled, or perhaps cackled, and threw her a mane full of Pinkie Pie.

As Twilight sets up for tonight's sleepover, Pinkie brought over exactly twenty-eight cookies for everypony at the sleepover. Pinkie claimed that the seven of them (including Spike) should have thirteen cookies each as an even amount. Pinkie’s logic doesn’t make any sense to Twilight and wants Pinkie to prove it to her if seven times thirteen really does equal to twenty-eight.

Inspired by Abbott and Costello’s 7 x 13 = 28 routine!

Pinkie Pie Grin vector by: KIOWA213

Edit: I know that 7x13 does not equal to 28! This is all in good fun comedy and it doesn't have to be taken so seriously. If you are sensitive with mathematics, then don't read it!

Update 11/16 - 11/20/14: In the popular list! Thanks guys!

Update 6/6/15: Now with a reading by: Astro-Brony

After Discord betrayed the ponies last time, Pinkie realizes she has made a grave mistake. She never threw a welcoming party for Discord! She hatches a plan to throw the biggest bash to make up for it, but she needs help to make it just perfect, throwing the surprise part of the party out the window.

Edit: Oh my gosh, how could I forget?
My pre-readers and editors, Phenrys and Sparky Brony, helped out with this. They deserve a spot on my page by now, as they've influenced pretty much all of my stories. Sparky in particular pointed out some major flaws with this. (sorry for forgetting you guys earlier)

This story is a prequel to The Origin of "Camouflage"

While working on the Rock Farm with her sisters, Maud comes across a special little rock that is different than all the others.

It's love at first sight.

Cover art made by PrinceCelestia

Now with Dramatic Reading by PonyStemCell

French version by Vinz

Pinkie has invented a new cupcake to beat the winter chills, with a special, foreign ingredient to give it a bit more a kick to its overall flavour. She wants Twilight to be the first taster, and hilarity ensues.

The great old one Colthulu comes to Equestria, bent on conquest, destruction, and spreading madness throughout the world. Nopony may look upon him without being driven insane, and even alicorns lack the power to combat him directly. But there's one thing he hadn't counted on: You can't drive somepony insane when they're already there...

A short story in which You helps Twilight lose her ever-grammatical mind.

*****
Massive thanks to Level Dasher for stepping in and proofreading/editing! He pointed out a ton of little (and not-so-little) details that I missed, and I feel his efforts really put a coat of polish on the story.

Pinkie eating Celestia's cupcake didn't go down very well- at all. Now the Mane Six are down an element of harmony, and all of Equestria may be doomed! Or not. Luckily, Cheese Sandwich is there to save the day. But when Pinkie comes back, they may all learn how Pinkie Pie does what she does...

It's a completely ridiculous story, just meant for laughs, so don't take it too seriously!