Once upon a time, (if the term even applies) two young ladies, (if that adjective even applies) decided to visit a magical land of Equestria, selected seemingly at random from about a million.

• One of the two is a time traveler deprived of her time machine, the other is an eldritch abomination out of her element.
• One would prefer the world of pastel-colored ponies to stay as it is, and can’t help but alter it. The other one is anxious to see how it can change, and can’t help but maintain it.
• Both believe that this is not their story. But while they disturb the delicate world of ponies, they don’t even notice ponies doing the same to them.
• Sandwiches are involved somehow.

There are many things this story is and some things it isn’t.

It’s not a fix fic, no matter what some of the characters think. It’s written in multiple first person narration, which happened for a pointlessly clever reason, that will eventually become quite obvious. It’s not a crossover, it just comes with an unhealthy amount of backstory. It could be a rational-fic, but since idealistic philosophy is typically not seen as very rational, it’s only a philoso-fic instead. It’s quite meta, in the original definition of metafiction: fiction concerned with fiction as a concept. In any case, it’s either a small monument to overthinking things – I’m trying to reexamine many fanon ideas here – or a digital paperweight, I’m not sure which. It’s quite a bit more subtle than it could be, and everyone talks way too much when they should be having glorious adventures.
I know how it starts, I know how it ends, and most of what happens in between. Readers say it’s a slow burner, but we’ll get there eventually.

Acknowledgements

With special thanks to my editors, Thainen, Shrink Laureate, and MitchH.
Further special thanks to ScarletWeather and Themaskedferret for valuable input.
The artist who made the cover image stubbornly wishes to remain uncredited, but thanks to her anyway.

Maud did not love Rainbow Dash.

Maud did not understand love.

Maud understood war. Maud understood battle. Maud understood loss.

Those are the things Maud understood.

[Maud/RD - Season 5 finale AU]

Moondancer conned her neighbor, Trixie, into giving her some solitude when she was a filly, and now she tries to make amends by applying Friendship Theory.

Editor:
Minds Eye
Prereaders:
Reneigh Haycart, Not_A_Hat, ZodiacSpear

Featured on Equestria Daily

Twilight Sparkle's family reunion is finally over.

Now all that is left is the cleanup. And the apologies.

Until next year.

Placed Second in the Best Laid Plans Writeoff.me contest.
Expanded to reach the Fimfiction minimum chapter length.
With a wonderful reading by Scribbler Productions on YouTube

Why would you think this is an Adventure Clyde story? That would be silly! This is a Friendship Is Magic fanfic site!

What this IS, is a story about Twilight Sparkle and the young dragon she has an ill-defined pseudomaternal relationship with. He happens to write stories. Some of those stories might happen to be about the Alicorn of Adventure, but be that as it may, this is a character drama in which our protagonist Twilight Sparkle must struggle with Spike's first exposure to the complex legal and ethical minefields of consensuality in adult relationships.

Okay, maybe this is also a literary deconstruction and reconstruction of "Adventure Clyde" (incl. tumblr and associated reviews and written works), reconciling his existence with My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic canon, while staying faithful to the My Little Pony universe and offering subtle and profound observations into the nature of scientific rationality, Freudian psychological analysis, and oranges. But we all like literary deconstruction, right?

Right?

*crickets*

Now with a dramatic reading by Present Perfect and ShadowOfCygnus!

REVIEWERS AND ELLIPSES WARN YOU AWAY:

"This story is egregious serial nonsense. (…) I think I … hated it. (…) It isn’t great literature. (…) Recommended." — Titanium Dragon

"My god (...) No." — Present Perfect (Highly Recommended)

"(...) a terrible mess (...)" — Bad Horse (Recommended)

OTHER ACTUAL WORDS SPOKEN BY PEOPLE WHO HAVE ACTUALLY READ IT:

"Oh man. (...) bad (...)" —Protopony350
"(...) by god (...)" —Skeeter the Lurker
"(...) weeping (...)" —Orbiting Kettle
"I have no idea what the hell (...) I fear for my well-being (...)" —Skywriter

THE PRAISE FOR "THIS IS NOT AN ADVENTURE CLYDE ADVENTURE" WHICH GOT THE STORY REJECTED BY FIMFIC MODERATION UNTIL I CENSORED DUBS:

[6:19:06 PM] horizon: Hey guys! Can I get a blurb for my upcoming story?
[6:20:08 PM] Zaponator: "Literally the best thing I've ever read. A true piece of art that puts to shame any written work before it, and will likely stand as a great unconquered titan for any work after it. 7/10 —IGN.com"
[6:20:41 PM] Dubs_Rewatcher: HOLY S**T
[6:21:03 PM] Haze: and this is how Displaced became canon

Adventure Clyde™ is a registered service mark of Protopony350 Industries, Ltd.

Celestia wants to get into her throne room.

A kindergartener wants her to prove she's actually Celestia first.

(A stand-alone, no prior-reading-necessary part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome. )

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Cover art by EquesTRON.

Everypony enjoys myths and ponytales, even if they know such things aren't real. Alicorns fighting against a spirit of chaos? An ancient princess trapped in a library under a tree, waiting to be found? Quite enchanting and fantastic tales yes, but nonetheless as fictional as Daring Do and other such stories. At least, that's what Rarity used to think.

She doesn't anymore.

Dedicated to Annuska for being as amazing a writer as she is a friend.

Now a physical book!!!
Patreon!
Based on an old oneshot.
Chapter Art by Arctic Waters // Graphic Design and Typography by Swan Song.

Five years ago, Dr. Natalie Sydney was contacted by an enigmatic extraterrestrial. Now, it's happening again.

This story was written for Equestria Daily's More Most Dangerous Game writing contest. It fulfills the My Little Dashie-inspired prompt. It was 11th-hour-proofread and edited by Nicknack.

Applejack is chosen as The Nightmare's new host.

It really isn't that big of a deal. Until it is.

This story is a sequel to The Last Pony on Earth

Alexandria; a name its founders hope might again become synonyms with scholarship in a world that only four months earlier hosted human civilization. Now only the last remnants known as the Human Preservation Initiative have retained their species, the remainder of the population has been transformed completely into ponies. Adapted to survive in a world now saturated with magic, the ponies of Alexandria settle in for what they expect to be long and boring lives.

They are mistaken. Between the gradual approach of winter, being completely new to the magic of their bodies, and the HPI constantly breathing down their backs, life in Alexandria proves to be anything but boring.

Note To E-Reader users: This story contains illustrations in each chapter, which will be lost in the standard fimfiction chapter export. The generous Phoen1x took the time to produce an epub version with all the illustrations intact, which you can download here.

A huge thanks to Zutcha , the artist for this story. Also a huge thanks to my editors Two Bit and Sparktail.