Most ponies assume that something is wrong with Ditzy Do's eyes. Theories range from a head injury to a genetic disorder to muscle damage behind her eye. The crueler folk suggest she's just retarded. Nicer ponies say it's just a party trick she never got tired of.

They're all wrong. They're all very, very wrong.

I discovered the truth one day in conversation with her. One eye would always look at me, and the other would wander. At least, I thought it was wandering. So while we were talking, I followed it. Goddess in heaven I wish I had not. Never follow the other eye. Ever. Because Ditzy Do's eyes work fine.

She's just watching something. That... thing that's always in the corner of our eyes. And if she looks at you with both eyes?

Goddess save you.

----

Preread by BrastaAAura17, Chase Cosmicwing and dreamingnoctis. Cover art also by dreamingnoctis. Guy's a bro.

Night One

"Why is she standing out there? What does she want?"

Night Two

"There's something off about her...."

Night Three

"That's not Fluttershy..."

Being an immortal Alicorn sucks when you have nopony to share it with. Fortunately Twilight finds a neat spell that'll ensure her friends live forever! All they have to do is die!

Now with a live reading by Skijarama! (thanks a bunch)

One of the many reasons the Cutie Mark Crusaders have their reputation is the group's tendency to ignore whatever the adults are saying -- or worse, to hear just enough to get them in trouble. So when Cheerilee finally covers pony sexuality on a warm, lazy, sleepy day, the trio come away with exactly enough notes to collectively believe the following:

Ponies going into heat is real.
They'll never be interested in sex at any other time.
They're going into heat once, for an hour and a half, and it's going to happen tomorrow.

This can only end well.

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

(Rated C for Crackfic.)