Ultimately, what Anon learned was to never trust Cadance. (Contains gratuitous Scottish accent)
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Anon’s found himself in hot water, and a courtroom. Why is he in a courtroom? Oh, no major reason I can assure you!

Just the transportation of 152,870 pounds of crack cocaine.

Ever since being relieved of the majority of her major duties, Celestia has been extremely bored. Anon takes notice of her having a particularly bad night and gets her to confess her real problems.

Being the only human in Equestria can be a strange and lonely experience. Luckily, you have the upcoming Hearth's Warming Party to look forward to!

But, when everypony seems to want to kiss you under the mistletoe, you get the feeling that something sinister is afoot in Ponyville...

EDIT: Featured 12/18/18!

Anon feels like bonding with the pony personification of the sun; Princess Celestia. More specifically, he feels like sexually bonding with her.

Princess Luna doesn’t know how to feel about that.

WARNING: Profanity, and I mean a ridiculous amount of profanity. Also sex jokes, because bottom of the barrel humour has been fermenting the longest.

Anon is a macho manly man. He’s tough and resilient, coarse and rough. He takes no crap from anything or anyone. He is a strong independent green bean. He slays poon like no tomorrow.

He also has a griffin girlfriend. He likes it when she gives him cuddles.

Your name is Anon and you are a human living in a society run by ponies.

You have no human friends—probably because you’re the only one. But that’s all right, you’ve got some pony friends and they’re pretty groovy. You just wish they’d tone down the ironic erotic energy they constantly exuded while around you.

I mean. There’s no way they were really that sexually charged, at least towards you. Right?

...right?

Well, good thing Rarity is right there!

Caramel decides to take Anon out drinking. It doesn't quite work out. A bittersweet look at a more grounded RGRE.
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Caramel decides to promote stallionism at a Wonderbolt performance. In retrospect, bringing Anon along for support may not have been the best idea.
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

In the year 2745, humanity's grasp of the sciences has advanced to an almost unfathomable level. Sub-space matter transfer technology grants almost instant access to countless worlds across thousands of light years. These advanced machines are not without their limits. The vast energies which constantly course through them put immense strain on their inner workings, and it is your job as a highly trained maintenance tech to fix what breaks. On your way to a typical repair job things take a turn for the decidedly weird, and you suddenly find yourself thrown into a world both familiar and alien. Will you ever learn the cause of your displacement, or will you be forever subject to the whims of this strange new world?

One thing does become quickly apparent. The citizens of your new home are frightened to learn of your species' carnivorous ancestry, the signs of which are made painfully obvious with every toothy grin. What's a pony to do when these ancient surges of primal fear sow a quickly growing seed of carnal need? A tumultuous avalanche of the deliciously devious awaits.