Chapter Eight
Here be Dragons
"You live in a tree?"
Oh, this was too good.
"I don't live IN a tree. My house IS a tree!" Twilight made it sound as though the difference should be obvious.
Whatever it was she lived in, you had to admit it was an impressive sight. The town library too? Well you had to admit that made quite a bit of sense given Twilight's near manic obsession with knowledge.
The door looked pitifully small as you made your way up to it. Like, stooping wasn't an option small.
With a small spout of purple magic, Twilight opened the door and happily trotted inside, leaving you standing on the stoop.
After a few moments, she returns with an eyebrow quirked in confusion. "Are you coming or what?"
"Oh I would just love to join you, Twi, but there seems to be a little problem with your door. Emphasis on 'little."
She looks at you like you have three heads.
Rolling your eyes, you decide that a more visual approach might help drive home your point.
"Door size." You bring your hand out to where said door reaches barely to your chest. "My size." You gesture to the top of your head, and repeat the process for emphasis.
"Ah, heh heh, sorry, I didn't even think about that!" The unicorn rejoins your side looking decidedly embarrassed.
"Let's see. This should only take a second or two."
With an incredulous look, you cross your arms in confusion. "What, are you going to magic the door bigger?" Suddenly the house's entrance somehow begins to warp, reforming big enough to easily accommodate your height.
Yet again, you find yourself at a loss at Twilight's magical mastery.
"Do you have any idea how valuable your abilities would be back in my world?"
Twilight blushes cutely at your admission as you step through into the house's main entrance. The now super sized door opens into a large and inviting library filled floor to ceiling with a dizzying volume of books. They all seem to be hardbound and of a very high quality.
You whistle appreciatively. "Nice place you've got here, Twi."
"Thanks! It's not too fancy, and I've only been living here for a few months, but I've put a lot of love into it so far." She gestures around herself at the various pieces of artwork tastefully adorning the abode. "It's really the little things that make the biggest difference for me. I thought I would miss life in Canterlot terribly, but this house is really starting to feel like home in its own way."
You nod understanding the sentiment.
"Home. It's been a long time since I've had a place that really felt that way to me. I had an apartment back on the outpost, but it was really only a place to store all my junk and stop by to spend the night once every few months. Just a place to sleep, not a home."
"Well, until you can get a place of your own I'd really like it if you considered my home your home."
"Thanks Twilight. That really means a lot to me."
She waves a hoof at you dismissively. "It's no problem. Now come on, I'll give you the grand tour!" Twilight gives a little dramatic twirl and you can't help but laugh at the display.
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"So you have this whole place to yourself?" The two of you have toured the first floor and basement of her home. You were amazed to find an exhaustive array of experiments and chemicals on display in the surprisingly large sub level.
"Oh no. I live here with my assistant Spike. He's probably in the kitchen preparing lunch right now."
"You have an assistant."
"Uh huh." Doesn't every librarian/mad scientist need an assistant?
"Named Spike."
"Yep!" As if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Hey Twilight, good timing getting back. Lunch should be ready in just a minute. I made a lettuce tomato and cheese sandwich just how you like... it?"
A rather portly but decidedly real, honest to God dragon has just sauntered down from the second floor. Seriously, why did you even bother being surprised anymore?
"This is your assistant?"
"Yep!"
"Your assistant is a dragon?" Quite a bit smaller than what the term 'dragon' typically brought to mind.
"A baby dragon." Ah, that would explain the size, wouldn't it?
"Well of course he is."
Spike looks you up and down in an appraising manner. "Well well, looks like the mysterious human you can't seem to keep quiet about finally makes an appearance."
"Can't seem to keep quiet about me, huh?" You glance back at a rapidly reddening Twilight.
"Oh brother, you have no idea. I mean the last time I saw Twilight this excited about something was when the Princess came to visit." You're getting more of a brother and sister vibe from their relationship than that of a manager and assistant.
Spike beckons you over and you stoop down to meet his diminutive height.
"Digging the hands by the way. Bit of a rarity around these parts unfortunately."
"Yeah I've noticed." You can't help but smile at the dragon's infectious personality.
"Also, between you and me", Spike leans in conspiratorially shielding his mouth with the back of a scaled hand, "I think Twilight might have a thing for you."
"Oh really? What makes you say that?"
"Just take my word for it. I've been living with her my entire life. If anyone knows what's going on in that head of hers it's me." He finishes poking himself in the chest with smug satisfaction.
"Spike don't you have food to finish cooking?" Twilight asks with obvious irritation. "In fact, why don't you make another sandwich for our guest here?"
"Yeah yeah, coming right up Madame Twilight."
As Spike saunters by, he throws you a wink and utters, "See, what did I tell you?"
Turning back to Twilight, you notice she's looking more fidgety than usual.
"Funny kid."
"Oh yeah, he's a riot," she intones with ten tons of sarcasm.
"Well I still think it was funny."
"You shouldn't encourage him like that."
"I don't think he needs any encouragement from me."
"You'd probably take that back if you saw what happened the last time he really got full of himself."
"Oh? Sounds like you've got quite the story behind that one."
"You have no idea. I swear it seems like ever since I moved here things have been nonstop crazy." She sighs and makes her way past you towards the stairs.
"Are you sure you didn't just bring the crazy with you?"
"Yes, I am quite sure I didn't bring the crazy with me!"
Twilight tries to look serious in her defense, but can't keep it up, breaking into laughter after a moment. Thinking back on what Spike had mentioned you decide an experiment is in order.
"You know you look quite lovely when you smile, Twi."
Her laughter tapers off abruptly into a series of nervous sputters.
"You're really easy to get riled up, Twi."
She turns away from you with a wistful look on her face. "You know, you really shouldn't say things you don't mean."
Well this was an unexpected reaction.
"But I do mean it. Don't get me wrong. You're beautiful normally, but when you're smiling and laughing it's like your entire being is lit up from within."
"You really mean that?" You can see a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I don't think anybody has ever said something like that to me before."
"Hey, I might be a bit of a smart ass, but I'd never say something like that if I didn't mean it."
Her glowing smile is back again, and the two of you find yourselves staring in companionable silence. It's a wonderful moment of peace.
"Ahem. Sorry to interrupt you two, but lunch is ready." Queue wonder assistant Spike with some absolutely world class timing.
Twilight is caught completely off guard and visibly jumps at the dragon's voice. "Ahahahaha of course it is!" She turns back to you wearing an entirely too large grin and laughing skittishly. "I hope you're hungry because I sure am!"
"Pft. Yeah, talking always works up a crazy appetite for me too." The young dragon rolls his eyes so hard you imagine they might fall out of his head.
You take it back. Twilight's assistant wasn't funny. He was hilarious!
"Spike!"
The purple unicorn leaves you to chase the now openly laughing dragon upstairs presumably towards the kitchen.
Looking around, you smile, breathing deeply of the earthy smells of the obviously well lived in home. 'This is going to be pretty much okay,' you think to yourself as you ascend the staircase, guided by the sounds of your new housemates' bickering.
Pretty good. Also witty Spike.
I do hope banter becomes a permanent part, HiE's tend to drop it once the plot thickens.
This story is awesome.
LOL this is great
The title reminds me of the scene in Ice Age where Sid tells the baby that 'the tigers are play tag with the antelope. With their teeth'.
Sad to see from reading the tags, it's another human story. Still, I'll read this later.
May I ask when in the timeline of the show this is taking place? This part is why I am asking:
"It's not too fancy, and I've only been living here for a few months"
If she's only been there a few months, then at least everything past Winter Wrap Up hasn't happened yet. Perhaps this was intentional, but I wanted to make sure.
Alright, on the topic of the story, I like this. I like the narrator's snark, and your portrayal of Spike especially. It's looking good so far, and I'll be watching this.
At first I was all: He's gotta thing for RD? That's abrupt.
Then I was all: A thing for Twilight? Dafuq? No!
Then: Lyra? Okaaaaay?
Now: Damn, Twilight!?!? Make up your mind!
this fic deserves 5 moustaches!
i393.photobucket.com/albums/pp11/shartzell68/pimpin-aint-easy-lg.gif
oh yes, this is going to be good
This story is awesome. The incredible informality of the writing really does make it feel like more of an internal monologue than a lot of other second person stories I've read, if only for the fact that I know I don't censor myself when I'm thinking and the writing feels appropriately stream-of-consciousness at all the right parts, such as with the Manticore. Really looking forward to more of this!
Second person? I don't know... That is a lot of cognitive dissonance to overcome...
That said, the comments imply that this is a REALLY GOOD STORY, regardless.
Do I REALLY want to go through the hassle of mentally rewriting this in third person while reading it?
*Sigh* I'll just track this for now and finish getting caught up on "For want of a Dawn". Maybe I'll read it afterwards.
OH MY GOD this fucking awsome, please i demand MOAR! yay im a pimppin in the ponies ploty world!
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Thanks for the comment and question. In an earlier chapter, the rotagonist observed (with Twilight's input) that years in Equestria were several times longer than those in the human world. This was to address the sometimes less than sensical change of seasons in the show.
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duh.
Well, there's my stupid moment of the day.
I still fail to see why his face is scary, if he has normal teeth then they would see omnivorus teeth (mostly herbivorous with the canines) but from what I saw in the picture and in the story leads me to believe that he doesn't have normal teeth. I haven't gotten any clarification from the story either.
Finally read. More golden material. There aren't many fics I read twice.... in fact this may very well be the only one.
695131 About the teeth thing. 'You' are from the distant future, who knows, maybe humans have big teeth in the future? But still, equines have relatively flat teeth, I think even a glimpse of a human's canine would instantly imply 'carnivore' to the ponies, especially Twilight, because she's obsessive about details and making observations. If anypony would freak out about the guy's teeth, it'd be her, because she'd be the one to not only notice them, but also process the information.
I'm not quite sure why I hadn't read this earlier (it's been sitting in my read later stack for a spell). I'm absolutely loving this story so far
Looking forward to more!
This story, so good.
Also, ship all of the ponies
Well, that was quite a fun read.
My only critique I have is the writing is rather informal as stated before, and feels a tad bit awkward at times, but I'm not going to think any less of the story because of it. This is a good quality read, I particularly love the OC's character and personality. This is quickly becoming one of my favorite HiE stories, Keep it up!
A protagonist with a super dose of the ol' animal magnetism, eh? Noice.
There's something awesome about taking a somewhat familiar concept and turning it up to 11. Or 12.
I can hardly wait to see what kinds of shenanigans -human protagonist- gets into.
Plus, if pointy teeth and hands are what ponies dig, then I guess Spike has a serious chance with Rarity after all.
Hey HEY hey.
Oh god more.
Please.
This story is amazing.
Heavy Likes it.
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I vill comply!
She said anybody TIME TO FREAK THE FUCK OUT! GRAAAA sorry bout that.
So good.